Any tips for an adult parent going back to school full time?
I start college in 17 days. Very nervous about having children and keeping a school, homemaker, mom, and me balance with a husband who works 50 hours a week. Can anyone offer tips on how to prepare, what to expect, or how to keep a balance?
If you have several young children, I'm afraid you are overextending yourself. My husband also works long hours (professor) and I did not do grad school until my youngest was in grade school. I recommend online classes for flexibility, since kids will still get sick or have other emergencies and I assume you are the main transporter of children. Please don't buy into the lie that a woman can have "it all" all at the same time. You can do "it all" eventually, over a lifetime.
Try to have meals in the freezer and an arsenal of pantry meals--those you can fix by just opening some cans and boiling some pasta or rice. And if the kids are older, they can certainly learn to do laundry or other helpful tasks.
Hi Peeples, returning to school as a mother and wife is certainly a struggle but it can be done with determination. I returned to school and got my BA and then continued and just received my doctoral degree all the while with 5 children. My youngest was 5 and the oldest 16 when I started. When I was in school for my BA mind you I was still working a full-time job. It takes work and a joint effort. Daycare may be needed if you can afford to do so. I would do group homework sessions so that my children could get help on their homework while I was doing mine. My husband also worked but we split up chores and the older children began chipping in. My experience was that I could not be where I am now without everyone's help but that is what families do. Always find time for your husband, even if it is just going on a grocery store date or relaxing with him while watching television. Also I found it helpful to not be so controlling and expect everything to be done, somethings had to be put to the side for a moment. GOOD LUCK in your journey, if you think positive thoughts then you can achieve anything
When possible consider doing some of your classes online; that helped me immensely with balance because I lived 40 minutes from campus. If you need to, drop to part time and don't try to do too many credits at once, especially the first semester. If you do go full time, balance your classes to have one harder one and a couple that are easier for you. For example I had a very demanding art class one semester that required 12 hours of studio time per week and I took it at the same time as an advanced English course online thinking it would be ok - it wasn't, I really struggled to maintain my 4.0 which my scholarship required that semester. Balance your classes - demanding and not as demanding!
As for the house, get used to a messy house for awhile - it's all good. You have to prioritize and there is just some stuff that isn't going to get done and that can be hard to deal with if you're a bit of a "type A" like myself. I had to learn to let go of some stuff and fortunately my other half was very supportive. He didn't work as many hours as your husband does though.
For me, organizing my time on paper each day was how I managed to get the most done without feeling stressed and frazzled. I made prioritized lists (still do) each morning and went down the list - what didn't get done didn't and that had to be ok.
I had to learn to reorganize my time. Time management is so important. There may be times your sleep will be short but in the long run it's well worth it. My older children had to learn to help in the house a little more - I made sure their chores were reasonable and that they were able to maintain them responsibly.
One of the hardest things for me was letting messes happen - it initially drove me crazy lol but then I learned that there's a big difference between having a mess and being filthy - and by no means were we filthy lol
The other hard thing was making sure I was still able to give my kids enough time. I prepared them by letting them know that i was going to be going back to school and there would be less time for me but reminded them that are the most important thing in my life and my love would not change.
I learned that by them watching how hard I worked, it encouraged the importance of schooling to them - they realized sometimes mommy doesnt like her homework either but she has to do it because it's important to have an education. I watched them work harder at reching their own goals and I really wasnt expecting that so it worked well for us.
I made it clear that I wasn't only doing this for myself but I was doing it for them as well, along with the other people I wanted to help. They learned valuable lessons in that.
I made the most of my time with them. I still made sure we had movie night (more at home than anything) alternated for game nights, and made sure they were able to come to me if they needed me for any reason. They learned when to be patient with me, they also learned how to resolve issues on thier own, and not once did any of them come to me in sadness feeling neglected or unloved, thank God!
Talking to them and preparing them ahead of time is probably the most important thing you can do. Of course, there are also ways to give time to your spouse - any interaction, as long as you're genuine, will help him to remember he's not least in your life. Set a date night once a month for just the two of you, engage him, ask him his opinioin (whether or not you actually want it lol) Make sure he still feels loved & wanted by you and he'll be ok. Education is a great thing to invest in - you can do it - you have to figure what works best for you and your family.
God bless you.
It's scary but doable, with determination and at times a box of tissues because if you're anything like me you will need them at some point or another. I have written a hub with basic tips so feel free to have a look, remember time for you and your family, remember you're not infallible, remember your end goal and I promise the pride when you graduate despite all you have going on is fantastic
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