What makes having 1-2 children a very intelligent, educated choice for couples for the OVERALL
emotional, educational, financial, & psychological welfare of the children involved? In 1-2 children families, each child receives individualized & undivided parental attention. There is less or none sibling rivalry & competition, no child is cast aside or discarded in favor of another child, there is NO MIDDLE CHILDREN who tend to be ignored, overlooked, & even lost in the family shuffle & there IS MORE per child in terms of educational & other myriad opportunities. Yes, the 1-2 children family is BEST for all involved. Give detailed answers as to why 1-2 children are best.
I disagree. And it depends on a lot of factors.
If you want only 1-2 children, then that would be very smart, because it is what is wanted.
But this myth of sibling rivalry, competition, discarded children and middle children is bunk, especially if you have talented, wise parents to help children understand the important things of life.
Spankings were a regular affair in my family when I was a child. But these stopped when I was 9. That changed my life. Suddenly, instead of parents "reacting" to children's behavior, they were treating their children as reasoning humans who could understand their actions and the consequences. This put the responsibility squarely on the child's shoulders for their own actions.
An even better wisdom involves the notion of self-concern. If children are taught to be more concerned for others than themselves, then no such evil (competition, victim, etc.) will ever occur.
Welcome back Grace! I am glad your sabbatical was not too long.
I did not think of myself as being intelligent for making the decision to only have two children, but I will take that compliment from you! I came from a family of four children and even though there were advantages to coming from a large family, I felt having two children was the best choice for me and my family.
While I didn't want to just experience one child, I also didn't want to have more than two because it wouldn't be fair to them or me since my wife and I have such a busy schedule. Also, we had both boys really close (17 months apart) so now they are best friends! I love to see how their relationship grows and how they rely on each other so much. I don't think they would have that if we had a third or fourth child. Also, my wife and I started having children late, so that was another factor.
I agree that the less children one has, the more time they get to spend on those kids, which is better for everyone all around in my book. Just like in school, a child benefits from more individualized attention and can progress more and possibly lead a richer, fuller life.
I look back on my childhood because we were like this tight knit unit that worked together. I laugh when I think back about us being crammed together in that small house trying to work around each other and getting under our parents feet. But for me, the decision to have a smaller family was a no-brainer and I never regret it!
Grace, given that you've written so many hubs on this subject, I'm sure you already know the answer. You have probably got more knowledge to create a more detailed answer than someone like I could provide. Please take my following response with a massive grain of salt.
Even with two children, there is a chance that one child might be favoured by a parent. Have you read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith? It deals with this idea, as Francie is a daddy's girl and Neely is a momma's boy. (Annie is irrelevant to this case.) Come to think of it, a lot of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn deals with family issues...
Psychology Today's Susan Newman states that she spoke with several parents. Some were older, and doubted their ability to cope with more tiny balls of energy we call children. Others didn't want to go through another fertility treatment. Another mother feared for her job's stability if she went on mat leave. One-child homes are happier, the Pew Research Center states. More children make mothers less happy.
Apparently 60% of American idol finalists are only children. Siblings go to extremely long lengths to protect each other. Donald Anderson went to war and to jail in place of his brother, Ronald.
Chatelane has an interview with one-child advocate Katie Holmes you might want to read.
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