Does intelligence make you a better parent?

1. 59

   chaoticpsycheposted 12 years ago

   Every day I see some of the most stupidest people having children. Usually, at least it seems to me, those with less intelligence keep having child after child, often when they cannot afford them. I sometimes think it would be better for all if there was an IQ requirement for having children. I know there is a philosophy on those who are intelligent and have children have intelligent children. And yes there is always going to be something that proves this to be wrong. But can you imagine the less of a burden if those who could afford to take care of their own children were the ones having chldren.

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      Mom Katposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      First off, just because you are intelligent doesn't mean you are financially better off.  With the economy the way it is I know plenty of "smart" folks out of work or taking jobs that pay minimum wage.
      So what's the issue here?  Poor people or Stupid people?  Because you can be smart & poor or stupid and rich....
      
      As for parenting - it takes a different kind of "intelligence".  Again, I know plenty of people who can score high on an IQ test that suck as parents.
      
      There is a maternal or paternal instinct that some have & some don't.  I've seen poor parents who are fantastic with their kids.  They raise them with morals, standards, love, and ethics.  These kids grow up to be productive members of society.
      I've also seen well off parents who do a horse crap job and end up spending their money bailing their kid out of jail or putting them into rehab time and time again...
      
      So just to be clear - are you saying poor people are stupid & can't raise kids?  Because that's kinda what it sounds like here.

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         readytoescapeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Ouch that's gonna leave a Forum Bruise.....lol

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   2. 61

      QNAposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      First of all really and truley there are plenty of wealthy and smart people that have bad children or do not pay any attention to the kids. I am not rich by any means and I am no genius. However my kids are really well mannered behaved and get straight A's. Plenty of smart people are in a sense stupid and I would not let then make choices for my children I am poor but my kids have everything they need and I ask nothing of anybody I always find a way common sense Is more important a lot of smart people have no sense at all most of the bad things that happen to kids on the news or bad kids on the news are not those of stupid people. Common sense can not be taught to the fullest. Either you have it or you dont.

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   3. 82

      gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Intelligent people do make better parents.   They are more logically minded in raising their children.  They think things through.  They are less likely to act impulsively towards their children.   More intelligent people are least likely to abuse and/or use harsher forms of punishment to discipline their children.
      
      Intelligent people tend to be highly educated.  This means that  as parents, they can teach their children better in terms of basic literary skills.   They can better expose their children to more cultural, academic, and/or intellectual activities and events than parents who are less intelligent and less educated.   They are more democratic and less authoritarian in their approach to parenting.  They tend to see their children as unique individuals instead of mere appendages and automatons of them.   Less intelligent and less educated parents tend to be more authoritarian and less democratic parents.  They are more likely to view their children as appendages of them who they can mold into their likeness.

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   4. 61

      Silverspeederposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Intelligence is no substitute for common sense, some of the most intelligent people i know do the stupidest things just the same as those with low intelligence.
      Don't have children unless you can afford to keep them.
      Its not just cash you need but time and energy, love and understanding and a deep desire to raise your children to be a credit to humanity.

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      1. 82

         gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         +1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 !

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2. 59

   chaoticpsycheposted 12 years ago

   No, my question is about intelligence, not being poor. Statistically, those who are poor, are probably not educated, but of course even I am a contradiction to this. It just seems those with low intelligence and are poor keep having children. And then of course you have the theory that stupid people breed stupid people.

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      QNAposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I never intend to be mean but your mind set is just the kind I would not want my children around. That is a terrible example to a child so what you tell them sorry kids your parents are stupid so you might as well kill yourself now. Can anybody research how many intelligent successful people had average parents with no money and little education because half the baby boomer generation had parents with less than a high school education and low paying jobs of course im poor and stupid so I shouldn't know that

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   2. 82

      gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      What you have said is so true.   People who are intelligent do tend to have smaller families.  They are also more educated.   Yes, highly educated and intelligent people tend to have smaller families.   They know that children should be planned for socioeconomically.   They realize that children need individualized parental attention and they need more than the rudiments in life.   
      
      Intelligent people do not believe in haphazardly reproducing children.   They PLAN.   They care and think about their children's futures.  They want to give their children a good socioeconomic life which includes cultural, intellectual, and educational activities.  They further believe that children need more than rudimentary care which include medical and health care.    They take everything into consideration before even thinking of having children.   If they cannot financially afford children, they DO NOT have them.   
      
      People who are unintelligent and uneducated do tend to have larger families.   They DO NOT THINK of the ramifications of their actions.   Their attitude is whatever happens, happens.   The average parents of large families are socioeconomically struggling from day to day.   Their children are impoverished, bereft of health and medical care.   At best, they lead and live a second best life.   They tend to get scraps.    Children reared in such environments develop a poverty consciousness and a mentality of want.   
      
      Such people do not believe in planning financially and otherwise for their children.   They are happy living a subsistent existence and inculcate their children to do likewise.   Unintelligent and uneducated people do not have a concept of family planning.   Family planning is beyond the purview of most unintelligent and uneducated people.   There is a strong and strict correlation between unintelligent, uneducated people and low income.  There is further correlation between being low income and having a lot of children.   Low income people tend to have large families.     Conversely, there is a correlation between being highly educated, intelligent, and having small families.   People who are highly intelligent and educated tend to think about situations before doing them while unintelligent and uneducated people just approach life helter skelter.
      

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3. 76

   psycheskinnerposted 12 years ago

   It is an asset, all other things being equal.  But not a requirement.  My Dad was almost a genius and let's just say, well ... he didn't do a great job as a spouse or father.  I would rate being responsible and being just plain nice as far, far, far more important.
   
   Also, there are a lot of reasons people do not get an education.  I bet intelligence isn't even in the top three.

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4. 59

   knolyourselfposted 12 years ago

   If you treat children like they are stupid, they in all probability will be stupid.
   If you treat then like they were Einsteins, then they in all probability will be intelligent.

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5. 61

   lizzieBooposted 12 years ago

   Intelligence is not the same as cleverness or being educated. Intelligence is to do with having a natural understanding of things, an intuitive sense of reason and responsibility and an ability to learn through mistakes. By this definition intelligence makes for better parenting.

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      QNAposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Yes you are right thats why I said plenty of smart people are stupid. The context that the question was phrased was more in the ball park of smart or stupid educated or not to make better parents and I repeat that many educated people are not good parents and dont learn from mistakes or adapt. Sometimes kids will not make it no matter what the issues are with the parents everybody is different and thats just the way it is.

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6. 59

   chaoticpsycheposted 12 years ago

   My belief is intelligence is innate, so even if you treat children like their stupid then if they  are intelligent they will still be intelligent. Perhaps my work environment gives me the opportunity to see a disproportionate number of stupid people who have children.

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7. 59

   chaoticpsycheposted 12 years ago

   Agreed many smart people are stupid, many poor people are educated, etc. Trust me, the context of my every day work experience drove me to this question and the parents I see make me pray, metaphorically, for their children.

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8. 86

   rebekahELLEposted 11 years ago

   And what exactly defines intelligence?  A doctorate?  A masters?  A CEO position? A billionaire?
   Intelligence and intelligent parents are not the same thing.  I've seen children of those holding doctorate degrees with less than intelligent parenting skills.  Sometimes their children are spoiled and have unrealistic expectations of life in general.   
   
   The best parents love unconditionally and teach their children how to think, work and enjoy the lives they have.  They allow them to dream and create and make their own decisions, even if it means making mistakes.  This has nothing to do with how highly educated a parent may or may not be. 
   
   Intelligence is defined as:  (1) : the ability to learn or understand or to deal with new or trying situations : reason; also : the skilled use of reason (2) : the ability to apply knowledge to manipulate one's environment or to think abstractly as measured by objective criteria (as tests) 
   
   Great parents will grow along with their children, and ultimately become more intelligent in the process because of the very nature of parenting and what is required.  Parents become more flexible and must adapt to new and trying situations, learn how to skillfully reason with a perceptive 3 year old and the moody 16 year old.  Some of the best parents I have known did not/do not have degrees.  It's very assumptive to say that those that are less educated make poorer parents.  Where would we be without the large families of generations ago that kept family farms operating and feeding the masses?  Families were large out of necessity.  College degrees weren't required.

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      gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Many parents who have less education tend to have a very narrow viewpoint and focus.  They tend to view the world one way.   Parents who are highly educated tend to be more broadminded and that is reflected in their parenting methodology.   I will give you a case from real life.  Parents who are less educated tend to act irrationality when their children fail.   Many less educated parents tend to have a limited paradigm and think in strict dichotomies.  They also demand blind and unthinking obedience from their children. 
      
      For example, a child experiments with marijuana and these parents become highly incensed and put the child away in a detention center.  Such parents find it totally plausible that their child dare experiment with marijuana.  To them, their child will become an addict.  The more intelligent/more educated parent, on the contrary, realize that children do experiment and try out things.  Although he/she may be incensed, he/she will enter into a discussion with the child and further explain the pros and cons of experimenting with drugs.  Parents who are more educated tend to have a wider worldview regarding life tan parents who are less educated.

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9. 86

   rebekahELLEposted 11 years ago

   gm, I'm going to agree to disagree with you on this one.  It appears that you have a rather narrow viewpoint of less educated people in general.  Education comes in many forms, not just from a degree.
   A degree certainly doesn't mean someone is highly educated or more intelligent.  It means they have a degree.

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10. 78

    LupitaRonquilloposted 11 years ago

    To answer this question plainly, having a high IQ or many degrees or qualifications does not automatically make you a better parent. Rather, it depends on how you define intelligence. Parental intelligence is the type that can. Parents who LOVE, WANT and are INVOLVED with their kids whether they have a degree or not, is what makes a better parent. There is a level of education needed for parental intelligence (how to feed, care, teach, or treat an ill infant) as well as a desire to continue learning, either by advice or through experience this "child rearing" activity (how to deal with tantrums, social disorders, extreme immaturity or irresponsibility, etc..). Having and growing in this parental intelligence is what makes a better parent. I've seen and known parents that have gotten professional degrees and are very successful persons in their careers but very unsuccessful parents. I've also seen it the other way around as well. My sister doesn't have any degree and only has a GED yet she is way better parent than most. Her well behaved, educated and positive minded kids are certainly the proof! Truth is, it can be hard juggling a professional career and being a great parent at the same time, especially today. Choices and sacrifices need to made. I'm a writer, a student and work part time with a great company but I'm also a mother. In my opinion, my role as a mother comes first. A lot of other parents will not see it that way and sadly will pay in the end at the cost of raising insecure and/or troubled kids.

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