What are your thoughts on raising boys to be gender-nonconforming? Do you conten

1. 84

   gmwilliamsposted 9 years ago

   What are your thoughts on raising boys to be gender-nonconforming? Do you contend that
   
   this type of parenting will benefit or damage them?  Why? Why not?
   
   

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2. 69

   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   
   
   I suppose the only real damage that could be inflicted upon them would be from {society's attitude} towards them.
   Bullied for not conforming would be a major concern for parents.
   Unless someone is super rich like Brad & Angelina Pitt who can live in a bubble and have private schooling and other amenities while raising their daughter Shiloh Pitt who has been dressing like a boy for years; most parents would force their children to conform to traditions.
   Historically we've always had a certain amount of "gender indoctrination" when it comes to raising children.
   From the time they are born we elect to wrap a boy in a blue blanket over a pink blanket. Clearly the child has no knowledge of what is considered "masculine" or "feminine"! We also tell them how to behave according to their gender. "Boys don't cry" or "Girls don't sit with their legs apart." We give girls dolls and boys water pistols....etc
   Most parents would be afraid to "leave it up to the child" to choose which toys they want to play with or clothing items to wear.
   One has to ponder how different the world might be if parents allowed their children to choose such things early on.
   Is gender behavior innate or does our society define it for us?

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   1. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I contend that it is BOTH but mostly the latter.

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3. 69

   Michaela Osieckiposted 9 years ago

   Honestly, I think it would be a benefit. We are much more tolerant as a society of girls expressing interest in things traditionally deemed "masculine" or for boys - like action heroes, Legos, sports, etc, but we are much LESS tolerant of a boy expressing interest in traditionally feminine things and I believe that's because all things feminine or associated with females are still considered inferior or less desirable - allowing a boy child to wear a dress if he prefers it and fostering an environment where things like masculine or feminine traits are both valuable can only benefit society in the long run.

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4. 76

   jlparkposted 9 years ago

   I don't think that parents raise them to be gender non-conforming, but more that they accept that the child they have happens to be non-conforming to gender stereotypes, and get on with life with their perfectly normal child.
   
   To force something upon a child - be it forcing them to conform to the societal gender stereotypes, or forcing them not to conform - usually does not go over well. I remember hating it when I was MADE to wear a dress (a uniform I didn't have an issue with, it was in my own clothes that I had an issue being forced to wear dresses), and I'm reasonably (aside from the dress/skirt issue) gender-conforming.
   
   The Jolie-Pitt's accept John/Shiloh (Shiloh prefers to be called "John" I read somewhere) and their choice of clothing, and lack of gender conformity, as normal for their child. They accept it, embrace it and move on - it's never ever been forced on Shiloh/John.
   
   Gender non-conforming is also different to these children identifying as transgender.
   
   I think that a parent realising that their child needs their support isn't likely to be a bad thing. It's the support or lack thereof that could cause the problem.

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