What are the MAIN MISTAKES that parents make in terms of raising their OLDEST c

Jump to Last Post 1-4 of 4 discussions (4 posts)
  1. gmwilliams profile image85
    gmwilliamsposted 2 years ago

    What are the MAIN MISTAKES that parents make  in terms of raising their OLDEST child?

    Oldest children usually have quite a difficult time.  They are expected to be on their Ps & Qs at all times.  Parents usually place VERY HIGH expectations on them, forgetting that they are children.

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/7697011_f260.jpg

  2. IDONO profile image82
    IDONOposted 2 years ago

    The biggest mistake is to think as they grow older, their needs lessen. Their needs do not lessen. They simply change. Although they are much more self sufficient physically, their emotional needs are starving if not attended to. Their decisions are no longer about which toy to play with or which cartoon to watch. They are ones that set the stage for the rest of their life. A young child grows, matures and learns at a much faster rate than an older sibling. Therefore we make the mistake of believing they are beyond their years. No matter how resistant they seem to our suggestions, they want and need them. Nowadays, children mature physically, much faster than emotionally. Don't look at them. Talk to them. Communication is the key.

  3. gmwilliams profile image85
    gmwilliamsposted 2 years ago

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/8839431_f260.jpg

    (1) Inundating them w/responsibilities FAR BEYOND their level.
    (2) Viewing & treating them as proto-adults instead of seeing & treating them as THE CHILDREN they are.
    (3) Forcing them to be parents to younger siblings, it is THE PARENTS' job to raise children, NOT THE OLDEST CHILD!
    (4) Expecting them to be the example-setters in the family. Again, it is THE PARENTS' job to set the example for the family, NOT THE OLDEST CHILD!
    (5) Not spending as much time w/them as you do your younger children.  Oldest children need time w/their parents.  However, parents oftentimes fail to realize this, believing that oldest children do not really need them. This explain why oldest children are jealous of, even hating their younger siblings because parents spend very little, if no time with the former.
    (6) Not giving them individualized attention & love.  Parents of oldest children often feel that their oldest do not need as much individualized attention & love because they are "big boys" or "big girls" and being such they are "too old" for such.
    (7) Treating them as they are disposable.  Oldest children are oftentimes dethroned, if not discarded or disposed in favor of younger siblings.  That negatively impacts upon an oldest child's self-esteem.  Many oldest children are needy as adults because of this dethronement.  They are also envious, even spiteful of their youngest siblings because of this.  This neediness & spitefulness goes into their future relationships w/peers, friends, spouses, & even children.  They may become bullies towards others because of the slights they experienced at the hands of their parents as children.
    (8)  Putting their needs last.  Parents seldom consider the interests & needs of their oldest children. They are oftentimes put on the proverbial backburner in favor of the interests & needs of the younger siblings.  Oldest children learn early that their interests & needs do not count at all. As a result, they either become self-abnegation or exhibit strong braggadocio-asserting their abilities at every turn, even downgrading & criticizing others to elevate themselves.
    (9) Giving them adult responsibilities & roles in childhood.Children are supposed to be children, enjoying an unencumbered childhood.There is ENOUGH time to become an adult. Let your oldest child.....be a....CHILD.
    (10) Blaming them for things their younger siblings do.This is tantamount to child abuse.It is beyond child abuse, it is EGREGIOUS behavior on part of the parents.

  4. tamarawilhite profile image92
    tamarawilhiteposted 2 years ago

    Not only expecting them to be an example to younger siblings but act as a junior parent, giving them that responsibility without the authority.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)