What do you think about the phenomena, "failure to launch" i.e. adults in their middle to late 20s,
even in their 30s who REFUSE to get a job & leave the parental home to have independent, successful lives? If you are a parent, are you experiencing the failure to launch phenomena as far as your child/children go?
I think it's a natural consequence of western society's technological advances and decreasing problems. The average "poor" person (not counting homeless) lives a much higher quality of life than the richest people of 100 years ago, and we're living longer than ever. The average life span at the turn of the twentieth century was around 50 years old. Now it's 80.
We're living longer and we have far fewer *real* problems (feeding ourselves, not being eaten, not dying of the black plague, etc) so it doesn't seem surprising that our adolescence is stretching out, too.
That being said, I'm 33, and I really hope my 6 year old doesn't still want to bum around at home when he's my age.
More often than not it's the parents fault.
Some parents actually dread the thought of an empty nest!
A lot of parents from the past couple of generations didn't instill or emphasize independence and self reliability in their children.
Their relationship with their children is equivalent to a friendship.
My mother told us early on that by age 18 we had to go somewhere.
She was not going to take care of grown men.
I went away to college and never moved back home.
(The only other real options were the steel mill or the military.)
Another factor was my mother was very strict and living in (her home) meant you had to obey her rules regardless of your age.
Truth be told I couldn't wait to move out!
I loved the FREEDOM that came with college life and adulthood.
Maybe if I'd grown up in a household where it was okay to be slacker, come home anytime or stay out all night long, rely on financial help without having to worry about paying it back, getting free meals, free cable, a car, clothes laundered, and could have overnight guests as often as I wanted....
Maybe it would have been harder to let go of a deal like that.
Partially due to bad economy, high unemployment making it harder for them to find full time decent paying jobs that let them move out.
And it is partially due to overprotected young adults now unable to deal with the real world. If Ivy League school students freak out when told maybe you should just deal with someone wearing a costume you don't like, how do they handle rude customers, adult coworkers with opposing opinions that don't see it as right to be told they have to apologize for having that opinion, a boss that doesn't care about validating their every anxiety and says do the job I pay you to do or I will find someone else.
In my experience it is usually the parent's problem. Speaking from personal experience, my mum came from a very rich family and was really spoil when she was a teen, as a result, once she turned 19 she got kicked out of the house. Till date my mum was always very angry at my grand father for, putting her in a position where she needed to work, to support herself and didn't have time to go and do...whatever it is, women who are in their 20s, during the 1970s like to do. So she thought "If I become rich in the future, I am going to make sure, my kids don't have to work and can do what they want, just in response to u forcing me to support myself." in response to my grandpa.
My mum married my dad, who became a very successful businessman, so our family is also reasonably wealthy. Personally, I believe once a guy, turned 20, u are suppose to be on ur own and no longer take money from home, so I started looking for a job right after high school. To my mum, my was of thinking and what I was doing, is like pissing on her head and everything she is angry at my grandfather for. So she was really against me getting a job, when I was in university, it was pretty much what we fight about at home, everyday and she use to stand in front of the front door, with a kitchen knife, to stop me from going to a job interview. And she was also very angry at me, for not taking advantage of the financial advantage of home, She was extremely angry at me for not getting a girl friend, her exact word is "Which other parent give their kids, as much money to afford to take girls to nice places? But u just choose to let one opportunity after another slip through ur finger. The girl that obviously like u and u obviously like her too, u stand by and do nothing, even when some other guy, come and steal her away. In what universe make u even think, he is a better catch." My opinion is "A real man should be able to fend for his woman with his own 2 hands, so there is no way in hell, I am going to take a girl out on a date, using money other then those I earn, so before u get angry at me, for refusing to date, maybe u should ask ur self, why everytime i try go to a job interview, u stand at the front door with a kitchen knife and he is a better catch, for a start, he might not able afford to take a girl to a place, even half as nice as I can, but at least he can afford to take a girl out on a date, not using his parent's money, because his mum don't stand in front of his room, with a kitchen knife, when he try to go to a job interview."
by Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago
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