Are oldest children sacrificial children? Are oldest children the least selfish of all birth orders? Are oldest children oftentimes cast aside unless they serve a family function to their parents & siblings? Are oldest children the most responsible & mature because of parental pressures inordinately placed upon them? Do oldest children carry most, if not all the burdens for their families? Why do oldest children have the hardest, most difficult time in their families? Why do oldest children resent, even hate their younger siblings?
I don't know about other oldest children, but I can answer "yes" to all your questions except your last one. I don't hate my siblings. In fact I loved them and when my sister died at age 30, I felt like I'd lost a child of my own. I was 7 years older than she was, and 8 years older than my brother.
I think in my case my mother resented me because she got pregnant and they were forced to get married. Or it may have been that she planned the pregnancy to trap my dad. I don't know; that's just how things were in that day (1940s). I do know that my dad really loved her and never acted like he'd been trapped into marriage. He was 13 years older than she was and an elusive bachelor when they married.
Yes, I paved the way for my sister and brother. After I left home, they had privileges that I never had. Mom said it was because they had more money without my presence. I'm sure she was right, but she made it sound like I was the extravagant one (in a tight-fisted household). We all went to work early, I was 14 when I got my first job at the local swimming pool; my sister babysat starting at 14; and my brother started delivering papers at age 12. But even working and earning our own money didn't gain us girls any privileges. Boys were always treated differently then.
I think the older child paves the way for our parents, too. Remember the commercial: "First child," parents are scared to death; "second child" is thrown into the shower. Maybe by child number three, the parents just don't give a damn.
I’m 5 years older than my younger sister and we agree that I was given too much responsibility for caring for her when we were small children. As a consequence I have come to realise that I suffered from anxiety throughout most of my life. Like you, I was born in the 40s and life was different in those days - not least because the U.K. was in post-war recovery until the mid 50s. We were in a make do and mend era and many who had served in the armed forces were suffering from untreated post-traumatic stress.
My youngest sister is almost 18 years younger than I and her upbringing was much easier. She has been living with breast cancer since the age of 31 - when her only child was 1 year old. My heart broke for them both and I have tried to be as supportive as possible.
I don’t see my sisters often but love them both. We will be having a sister’s trip to Venice in May.
by Grace Marguerite Williams 7 years ago
Frank J. Sulloway in his breakout bestseller, BORN TO REBEL, indicated that one adopts attitudes and respond to the environment, familial or outside, based upon one's respective birth order. Dr. Sulloway indicated that oldest children tend to be more conservative and are not...
by Grace Marguerite Williams 5 years ago
I believe that the oldest child in a family have the toughest and roughest path to go. He/she was automatically dethroned upon the birth/births of a successive sibling/siblings. He/she is often held to a higher and stricter standard than his/her younger siblings, ...
by nanderson500 2 years ago
Would you rather be the oldest child, in the middle, or the youngest?
by Penny Godfirnon 5 years ago
If your were the oldest child in your family were you given huge responsibilities?Were you given responsibilites beyond your years and were you able to accomplish them or did you suffer from failing your parents!
by jagandelight 5 years ago
Do you think an only child is better off more than they are with siblings?
by JR Krishna 9 years ago
What to do if your older child bullies the younger one?Your older child is a bully. How to protect the younger one in your absence?
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