Depression and Anxiety

1. 81

   Misbah786posted 2 years ago

   How much has our childhood shaped who we are today? Or have we just lost that child in the sands of time? We wouldn't be depressed or anxious if we had that child inside of us, in my opinion. A child, in my opinion, understands how to break his toy and go on to the next toy. He does weep for a little while, but rapidly recovers. We normally appreciate this quality of the child. But what if, as adults, a situation breaks us and we quickly heal and go on to the next chapter of our lives? Will society accept and respect us, or will they judge us? Will we continue to accept ourselves in this manner? Is it we who cause our own depression and anxiety? Is it a choice or a natural occurrence? Is it an exterior or an internal effect? I believe the child is also emotionally attached to his toy and experiences pain when it breaks. Is it true that a child's sensitivity is lower than that of an adult? What do you think?

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2. 95

   ravirajan01posted 2 years ago

   Thanks Misbah for this enlightening topic.My opinion is that as we grow older into an adult we rapidly learn the art of sugarcoating and dillydallying.We don't want to hurt anybody.We do not want to  say no bluntly( even though we do not like it) and we do not want to commit to somethings immediately .
   
   But a child folows no such thing.If he/she does not like anything,he will say it on the face.Once a child commits on doing something,he would do it irrrespective of the odds and the most important there is no sugarcoating.If a child does not like a person,he/she would say it on the face.
   
   Somehow as we grow older we lose that audacious and brave quality of the child within us due to societal pressure.

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   1. 81

      Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your very kind and interesting response, Ravi. We usually say that it's just society that prevents us from doing something. The question to consider is who created this society and its norms. Isn't it true that we are the ones who make the rules of society, and we are also the victims? What causes humans to behave in such strange ways? According to psychology, a child is born with two fears.
      
      1) fear of falling from height
      2) fear of high voice
      
      Rest all of our fears are self-made. Is sugarcoating really beneficial to us or the people around us? Isn't it better to remain humble and kind if we can't do anything good? Isn't it better to remain silent and respectful than to sugarcoat others? Aren't we, in this way, playing with people's minds?
      
      Are we truly truthful in what we say? Can we have faith in ourselves? Why do we feel the need to please others? When the truth is always more advantageous than a beautiful falsehood. Isn't it true that we are the ones who make the laws of society, we are the ones who break them, and we are also the victims? Isn't man the most suspicious creature on the planet?

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3. 89

   Jodahposted 2 years ago

   You pose some thought provoking questions, Misbah. If a child breaks a favourite toy but forgets it immediately he is given something new, or does something naughty, then gets scolded momentarily before forgetting the incident and going on to something else, we just look at it as normal behaviour. Children are also very blunt at saying what they do or don’t like which would be considered rude in adults.
   What if, as an adult, we just breakup in a relationship or a partner dies and we quickly move on with a new partner? We will be judged and seen as insensitive, or we must have been cheating already. We are expected to grieve for a time and just deal with things alone. For most that probably works but for others they may need to find someone else quickly so they don’t mope or turn to drugs or alcohol to sooth their loneliness.
   I do think we still retain that inner child though, but it is suppressed, or Society may frown on us for “not acting our age.” We are expected to be tactful and diplomatic in the things we say and do.

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   1. 81

      Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much for your very kind and thoughtful response, John. I enjoyed reading your answer. There's so much wisdom in your words. And I truly agree with all what you said.
      
      I think we all are different and we all behave towards the same situation in different ways. When we end a relationship or when a partner dies, I believe it is extremely difficult to move on to a new relationship. It's hard, in my opinion, because there are so many memories and emotions deeply entwined.....  However, as you mentioned, some people move on to a new relationship quickly in order to avoid being destroyed and turning to alcoholism, drugs, etc. It means that while we are all different, the norms of society are the same for everyone. I believe that the norms have little to do with emotions.
      
      We are expected to be tactful and diplomatic in the things we say and do. This is so true!!
      
      How miserable it is that we are the ones who created ghosts and Ghostbusters, and instead of playing with them, we are afraid of them.
      
      I believe that society is uninterested in emotions, and that some people in our society are so busy in improving others that they hurt other people's emotions in a bad way. (maybe unconsciously)
      
      When someone is in grief, they want that person to get up and stop sobbing. And if they aren't sobbing, they will wonder 'Why?'.
      
      The issue, I believe, is that whether you do it or not, you will never be able to make society happy. If we are peaceful and calm beings, there is nothing wrong with getting married, nothing wrong with not getting married, nothing wrong with getting divorced or widowed, nothing wrong with having a job or losing a job, nothing wrong with anything.
      
      I think there's nothing wrong with this or that; it's just that we, the humans like to make a mess out of everything. If we do this, we will create misery; if we do that, we will create misery. That is what is wrong with us, as humans. It may be a time-killing activity for some, but I think they have no idea how they affect the lives of others by doing so...
      
      We all have different emotional states; not all of us are patient and can tolerate pain. I believe we all have different emotional states.
      
      Some of us like to express our pain and emotions, while the rest of us remain stoic. Society, I believe, ignores this crucial point and expects all of us to behave in the same way. Which I believe is completely impossible, and is a major source of our stress and anxiety.
      
      Blessings always!!

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4. 95

   ravirajan01posted 2 years ago

   Thanks Misbah for the great response.Man by nature is a social animal.If we go as per Maslow's theory of needs,the accceptance in society is one of the key needs of man besides food,water and other basic needs.
   
   So why do we sugarcoat things ? Are we suspicious ? The answer lies in acceptance.Humans crave for acceptance.We like to part of a group that we belong to.If we are excommunicated due to some reason,we feel bad,alone and depressed and that is why we try all possible tricks to remain in the realm of acceptance by other humans.
   
   At the end of the day,we are no better than animals.A pack of wolves,a pride of lions,a flock of sheep are all terms to describe groups of animals.But for humans,although we do not have any such term,the tendency comes from our animalistic behaviour to remain acceptable in a group.
   
   That is why a child is considered  free from such shackles.The child thinks independantly and does not care much about his.her arroundings.And that is the very reason childhood is considered one of the best times in our lives.

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   1. 81

      Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with your response, Ravi. You are right we all seek for acceptance. Maybe unconsciously but yes It is one of the most basic human needs. I appreciate your response . Thank you.

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5. 88

   Pamela99posted 2 years ago

   I guess I arrived late for this discussion, but it is very interesting. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. Are we born that way or did it happen due to the way we were raised?
   
   If we lose a loved one it is painful, but some choice to stop living, and I don't mean dying but they just shut down. Others work through that grief as described in Maslow's Hierarchy, but some ease their pain by jumping into a new relationship. That is probably not the best choice, but who am I to judge? A friend that would turn away was probably not a good friend anyway.
   
   Thank you for a very thoughtful discussion Misbah.

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   1. 81

      Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      A friend that would turn away was probably not a good friend anyway. — I agree 100%. Thank you so much for your very insightful response, Pamela.
      Take care and stay healthy.
      Blessings and lots of love!!

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6. 95

   ravirajan01posted 2 years ago

   Great thoughts Pamela.
   
   I believe in the equation  :
   
   Person + Problems + Ability to solve problems = strength or weakness.
   
   A person who has faced a lot of problems but has also solved them turns out to be a strong person. Whereas another person might have faced a lot of problems but has always shied away from solving them, he/she might turn out to be a weakling.
   
   I believe our circumstances and the way we react to them make or break us as a person.

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7. 99

   Peggy Wposted 2 years ago

   The bridge between childhood and adulthood is vast and we lose much of the innocence of childhood along the way.  We also have more responsibilities which weigh into our decisions.
    
   Depression and anxiety can be caused by outward factors as well as internal ones.  Just look at what is happening in Ukraine right now.  I am certain that there is much anxiety and also depression over death and destruction caused by the Russians. 
   
   How it will be internalized and how long it will last is up to each individual, and what they end up doing with it.  Some may crumble, and others may develop a resolve which will guide their future.  That, of course, is a drastic example, but a sad one happening right before the world's eyes today.

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   1. 81

      Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Very insightful and thoughtful response, Peggy. You have made some very good points. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.
      
      Blessings and Love as always!!

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