The opposite of love is fear, not hate

1. 0

   Baileybearposted 13 years ago

   If you take all emotions, they can be put into 2 categories - love and fear - all animals have the basics of "love" (not sure if there is a better word) and "fear"  Hate is really fear. Jealousy is fear.  Feeling at piece is love.
   
   All behaviours therefore stem from the basics of love or fear.
   
   Agree? 
   
   What about self-righteous and judgemental attitudes (eg on the religious forums).  Those would be fear and not love?

   replyreport
   1. 64

      Mishaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      the opposite of love is fear, not hate... wow, you are certainly up to something. Thanks a lot for your thought, it resonates with my experiences and thoughts quite well, and probably explains quite a few things... need to think it through... thanks again

      replyreport
      1. 0

         Baileybearposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         just musing....seeing what kind of feedback - might be a future hub?  Have got too many other hubs in the pipeline first

         replyreport
2. 75

   Shadesbreathposted 13 years ago

   I think it's more complicated than that.  Nothing is really binary like that except computer language.  You are ruling out emotions that are born of biological need: hunger, environmental necessity and sexual drives foremost among them.  Not to mention dismissing all the subtle and sometimes beautiful differences between them.
   
   I don't think it would be accurate to say that desire and infatuation are products of love or of fear.  Nor would I say that ravenous gluttony is a product of fear of starvation or love of food, for if that is "love" of food, it is a perversion of, or a gross stretching of the love of which you seem to speak.  And I think you are lumping joy in with love, as if somehow the joy gotten from hitting a target with an arrow or the joy gotten from completing a long motorcycle jump are somehow the love of success or the love of adrenaline.  If that were the case, then I would say, "Yes, I suppose," but it's really semantic and you are just striking out the nuance of emotion at that point and making them all have to be generic binary categories.  It's one of those arguments you could win if your opponent was being really, really nice, but otherwise, he or she would point out that there is a reason languages around the world have named more than two emotions.
   
   That's my take anyway. 

   replyreport
   1. 0

      Baileybearposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      okay, so even if could reduce it to those two, it could be a complex mix of both at once eg the gluttony example you gave
      
      not taking away the subtelies of emotion.
      
      Guess what I'm asking is why people feel the need to be self-righteous and judgmental?  Is it fear?  Or is it ego?

      replyreport
      1. 75

         Shadesbreathposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Well, if you are on the recieving end of that, you'd probably call it arrogance and vanity.
         
         If, however, it is you being accused of it, then it may be a matter of frustration at the willful ignorance or unfathomably dangerous stupidity of the person by whom you are being accused.
         
         As always, it's a matter of perspective.  Typically, religious folks who do this are so certain they have the truth, God given no less, that they are just apoplectic about how "stubborn" the people they keep trying to convert are.  It all seems so obvious to the religious person, that, out of frustration they get all sanctimonious.
         
         However, as a non-believer, the whole faeries and magic stuff just seems ridiculous, and so, nothing the religious person says is ever going to make sense because, well, it's all so ridiculous.  So, out of frustration at trying to point out how absurd it is, non-believers can also feel the same sort of frustration and become self-righteous in their own sort of way.
         
         Both sides are frustrated and both sides know they are right.  So, arrogance, vanity and self-righteousness can occur when they tire of arguing with "the morons on the other side."  Just depends who is sitting where whether its "self-righteous" or simply being "irritated by willful stupidity."

         replyreport
         1. 0

            Baileybearposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            they accuse me of being stubborn etc.  I see them as being self-righteous & judgemental

            replyreport
      2. 64

         Lisa HWposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         It's because they "love thy self" more than they "love their neighbor". 

         replyreport
3. 61

   spookyfoxposted 13 years ago

   I agree to some extent. Contrary to what Shades said, I do believe things like gluttony can be seen as a psychological exageration of fear of starving, or something else. But I'm not sure hunger would be called an emotion in the same sense as jealousy or hate.
   
   There is one feeling though which I believe is one of the worst, and doesn't belong under this 2 categories: boredom.

   replyreport
   1. 60

      KristenGraceposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Boredom, yes, agreed... But to elaborate (slightly haha, because I'm getting tired) I suppose you could you could also use indifference, which I think is the true opposite of love.  It never hurts more than when you truly have your heart overflowing for someone, and that someone just "doesn't care."
      
      He is not fearful, not in love...
      
      Indifferent.

      replyreport
      1. 61

         spookyfoxposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I haven't thought of that... in fact boredom is indifference, it's sort of an extension of it. I also think boredom is the opposite of happiness. And I agree that nothing hurts more than indifference from somone you love... except in my case I'd replace 'he' with 'she'

         replyreport
   2. 75

      Shadesbreathposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      You could equally say that gluttony is a psychological exaggeration of the love of food.  At which point, we could then say that the love of food comes from a fear of starvation, and, therefore, we could actually just reduce all emotions down to fear.
      
      I love my wife because I fear being alone, or fear not passing my genes on etc.
      
      That's the problem with ad reductio arguments. 

      replyreport
      1. 0

         Baileybearposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         guess you could say there are feelings that make us feel horrible and move away from something "fear/repulsion" and feelings that make us move towards something "attraction/love".  Maybe it's a continuum (of intensity of emotions) and boredom/indifference is stuck smack-bang in the middle?

         replyreport
      2. 61

         spookyfoxposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I could, but I didn't, because I don't think when it's a problem like that it is because of love. You can love food and eat a balanced diet. You don't need to love someone to be with them, nor you need to be dependent of someone to love them. In fact, how many people stop loving each other but they stay together just because they think it's too late to start again?

         replyreport
4. 71

   Diane Insideposted 13 years ago

   dont agree, fear and hate are two different things.

   replyreport
   1. 0

      Baileybearposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      yes, they are, but do you think the root of hate is fear?  eg think of homophobia, racism etc

      replyreport
      1. 71

         Diane Insideposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         yes that is true, but it is a different kind of fear, it is more of fear because of ignorance.
         
         So it is ignorance that causes hate. At least in this sense of the word.
         
         I love my husband. I hate my ex-boyfriend, I don't fear him, I just know he is a bad person, with no respect for himself or others.
         
         I love ice cream, I hate ham, I'm don't fear it, I just think it is gross.
         
         The opposite of love, is hate, The hate you are describing is ignorance.

         replyreport
5. 72

   clark farleyposted 13 years ago

   (If I might?)
   
   maybe the opposite of love is "true enlightenment"
   
   Consider that love begins with what most would agree is desire, to want to have/be-be-close-to/to-join something that is not, something to is external to oneself.
   (Not to get too self-referencing and all), but that form of love, the one that must people would associate the word with, would of necessity never be achieved.
   
   Not that I am saying that love is a bad thing!  But consider what the result of love often is, the love of country/nationality, the love of ethnicity, the love of god and religion. Often love leads to actions that might not be so loving.
   
   (btw for basic human drives and emotion, the "old sales guys" knew the answer to that, what drives all of us at the most basic of levels (once you get past the level of instinct) is: the hope of gain and the fear of loss.
   
   Thank you for such a thought provoking hub.

   replyreport
6. 60

   lovefindsitswayposted 8 years ago

   Yes it is the fear of losing the one love you love makes you feel terrified. Sometimes relationships moves on the wrong path which leads to fear and agony.

   replyreport