This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
jump to last post 1-31 of 31 discussions (45 posts)

It’s my Birthday! – Make my day…

  1. Lady_E profile image72
    Lady_Eposted 8 years ago

    Hi

    I’m “21 again” today. I would really love if you could post a joke or something funny for me to read. (don’t worry if you can’t think of one).  wink

    I’ve always wanted to post a thread asking people to write a Joke, so I guess this is my opportunity and it would make my day.

    Cheers, Elena  smile

    1. Drew Breezzy profile image70
      Drew Breezzyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      21 again
      time to get faded again
      bright lights
      late nights
      Time to party with friends

    2. James Agbogun profile image60
      James Agbogunposted 8 years agoin reply to this
    3. James Agbogun profile image60
      James Agbogunposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      During a Bible knowledge revision lesson, a teacher (Mr EARNESTHUB) asked one of the students; "RON MONTGOMERY, who fell the wall of Jericho?"

      RON MONGOMERY responded: "not me sir! i have been in class all day. I did not do it"

      The teacher was very disappointed. Hence, took RON MONTGOMERY to the Headmaster, Mr MARK KNOWLES. He said, "sir after several lessons on 'the Wall of Jericho', i asked this student who fell the wall of Jericho, he said he was not the one".

      And Mr MARK KNOWLES responded: "the boy is right. How can this little boy fall the wall of Jericho?"

      The answer should have been: 'the israelites'

      Heavenly Birthday, Elena!

  2. profile image0
    dennisemattposted 8 years ago

    Im out of jokes but happy birthday!!! And I love your new avitar, you look really pretty.  smile

  3. livewithrichard profile image85
    livewithrichardposted 8 years ago

    Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. smile

    Happy Birthday!

    1. packerpack profile image59
      packerpackposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      That was cool ...... and happy birthday dear!

    2. James Agbogun profile image60
      James Agbogunposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Oh! you you have just reduced my life span. I only remember my Birthdays weeks after the actual dates.

  4. Ron Montgomery profile image60
    Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago

    From holidaypost.com:

    Some employees bought their boss a gift for his birthday. Before opening the gift, the boss shook it slightly, and noticed that it was wet in the corner. Touching his finger to the wet spot and tasting it, he asked, "A bottle of wine?"
    His employees replied, "No."
    Again, he touched his finger to the box and tasted the liquid. "A bottle of scotch?"
    "His employees replied again, "No."
    Finally the boss asked, "I give up. What is it?"
    His workers responded, "A puppy."

  5. tantrum profile image58
    tantrumposted 8 years ago

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEAUTIFUL ONE !!

  6. profile image0
    Adam Bposted 8 years ago

    you ever get a song stuck in your head and just can't seem to stop singing it even though you hate it? 

    Last week I had a Tom Jones song stuck in my head and I don't even like him.  It was days upon days and with no end in sight, I decided to schedule a therapist appoinment to see if he could do something to help me.

    When I got to the therapist I told him I had Tom Jones songs stuck in my head and he said "It's not unusual."

  7. Dame Scribe profile image61
    Dame Scribeposted 8 years ago

    A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"

    Happy Birthday, Lady_E big_smile a toast to many more!

  8. Pearldiver profile image77
    Pearldiverposted 8 years ago

    Happy Birthday Elena... Are you a lion of 21st or 22nd?  Almost a Virgo..ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

    You have a good day
    it is Sat 22am here..

    I'm sorri I would get banned for My Jokes. smile

  9. fierycj profile image75
    fierycjposted 8 years ago

    Happy Birthday, E! You're hot!!!

  10. wrenfrost56 profile image82
    wrenfrost56posted 8 years ago

    Many happy returns lady E!
    Three men are lost in the deasert thirsty and tired. One man callapes and bumps his head on something hard. They pick up the object to find it's a lamp as they rub the sand away a genie appears and grants them each one wish. The first man wishes to be at home with his family, his wish is granted so he goes home. The second man wishes to be back with his lover at the hotel, his wish is granted and he disapears too. The thrird man say's to the genie "I have no family and no lover,I feel loney, I wish my friends were here!"

  11. profile image0
    wordscribe41posted 8 years ago

    Happy Birthday, Lady E.  Hope it's a great one...

  12. profile image43
    badcompany99posted 8 years ago

    Happy Birthday Lady E, I will be round later with yer present smile

  13. Lady_E profile image72
    Lady_Eposted 8 years ago

    Thanks so much guys, (sorry it's taken a while to respond, just getting home - from celebrating).


    Cheers Dennise, photo's changed for today only, back to normal tomorrow, hope you are enjoying your "me time".

    Thanks LiveRichard, Paperpack.

    That was Cool Ron.

    http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/free-party-smileys-770.gif

  14. Lady_E profile image72
    Lady_Eposted 8 years ago

    Lol, Tantrum, Adam B, Damescribe. Thanks a lot. smile

    Tantrum, I love the funky Dance that guy is doing.

    1. tantrum profile image58
      tantrumposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Happy you liked it smile

  15. Lady_E profile image72
    Lady_Eposted 8 years ago

    Thanks Pearl and Fiery, nice of you to stop by.

    Drew, that was Sweet. Your really good at these Limericks.

    Cheers Wrenfrost, nice one.  What a wish to ask for...

    http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/lol-045.gif

  16. Lady_E profile image72
    Lady_Eposted 8 years ago

    Thanks Wordscribe - my fellow Leo. It was a lovely one. smile

    Cheers Badcompany, look forward to it - Wouldn't mind a bottle of Irish Cream...  smile

    1. profile image0
      mtsi1098posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      happy bday - will captain morgan work?

  17. lrohner profile image81
    lrohnerposted 8 years ago

    Luv your new avatar, Lady E! And happy, happy BDay!

    Here's a little bday joke for you...

    A man asked his wife what she would most for her birthday. She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then the were off to a movie theater where they ate popcorn and sweets and drank Cola. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

    Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"

    1. Lady_E profile image72
      Lady_Eposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Irohner, this is lovely.

      http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/lol-047.gif

      I hope the Twins are doing much better now.

      Regards, Elena x.

  18. easy1 profile image60
    easy1posted 8 years ago

    A man dressed in KKK outfit walks into a bar with a pig under his arm, the barman  says "where did ye get him", the pig says "I won him in a raffle!".Happy birthday Lady E.

  19. goodfriendiam profile image54
    goodfriendiamposted 8 years ago

    A three legged ruff and tough looking dog walks into the bar, and he says "OK everyone listen up, by the time I count to three someone better fess up, because I want the man, who shot my paw."



    I know not so good...lol...Happy Birthday anyways. big_smile

    1. easy1 profile image60
      easy1posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Losing your paw thats tough, its a dogs life,(sorry had to say it.)

      1. earnestshub profile image89
        earnestshubposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Paw dog! smile

        1. goodfriendiam profile image54
          goodfriendiamposted 8 years agoin reply to this

          cute....lol smile

      2. goodfriendiam profile image54
        goodfriendiamposted 8 years agoin reply to this



        very cute...lol smile

  20. earnestshub profile image89
    earnestshubposted 8 years ago

    Happy birthday to you Lady E
    I see you're a Leo like me
    I know you'll look fine
    with a glass of red wine
    and all the good wishes you see! smile

  21. Lady_E profile image72
    Lady_Eposted 8 years ago

    To: Mtsi1098, Easy1, Goodfriend and Earnest,

    Thanks for your lovely Birthday messages,
    I enjoyed them so much,
    Reading while having breakfast with sausages,
    You definitely have the humourous touch.


    Cheers

    http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/free-party-smileys-770.gif

  22. aoiffe379 profile image55
    aoiffe379posted 8 years ago

    A teacher tested students by playing a spelling game called Take Em Down.Calley got the word 'house' and misspelled it,so he was taken down. Don,Calley's best friend got mosquito and spelled it correctly.At the end of the game,Calley was visibly upset.He told Don the reason.The teacher had given him a big word like house;and Don had received a small word like mosquito!

    I'm better at writing poetry:

    Do something different;
    But,have a lot of fun.
    Give of yourself more
    Ere the day is done.

    Take some time to 'go apart',
    Wherever that might be.
    Take some time to plan your path.
    Most of all, happy birthday Lady E!

    1. Lady_E profile image72
      Lady_Eposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Loved the Joke and the Poem. Beautiful. smile

      First time I'm seeing you in Forums - On reading your profile, I notice we have a lot in Common so I'll be back to read your Hubs.

      Cheers.

  23. aoiffe379 profile image55
    aoiffe379posted 8 years ago

    A teacher tested students by playing a spelling game called Take Em Down.Calley got the word 'house' and misspelled it,so he was taken down. Don,Calley's best friend got mosquito and spelled it correctly.At the end of the game,Calley was visibly upset.He told Don the reason.The teacher had given him a big word like house;and Don had received a small word like mosquito!

    I'm better at writing poetry:

    Do something different;
    But,have a lot of fun.
    Give of yourself more
    Ere the day is done.

    Take some time to 'go apart',
    Wherever that might be.
    Take some time to plan your path.
    Most of all, happy birthday Lady_ E!

  24. profile image0
    ralwusposted 8 years ago

    happy birthday Lady E;
    An elephant asked a camel, "Why do you have two boobs on your back?"
    The camel replied, "That's a strange question from someone who has a dick on his face."

    1. goodfriendiam profile image54
      goodfriendiamposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Oh my! coming out of a mouth of an animal that looks like it has butt cheeks on his face!....lol

  25. emievil profile image77
    emievilposted 8 years ago

    Happy birthday Lady_E! My jokes are not really that good so I'll pass smile. Enjoy your day!

  26. profile image0
    ralwusposted 8 years ago

    But I never asked the question. LOL

  27. asalvani profile image71
    asalvaniposted 8 years ago

    Happy Birthday, lovely lady!

  28. RedElf profile image89
    RedElfposted 8 years ago

    Better late than never - belated Birthday greetings! Hope your day was wonderful!

  29. Ladybird33 profile image63
    Ladybird33posted 8 years ago

    Happy Birthday, live life, my friend!

  30. Valerie F profile image60
    Valerie Fposted 8 years ago

    That must've been quite a Thanksgiving....

  31. Enelle Lamb profile image86
    Enelle Lambposted 8 years ago

    An old Indian was asked the name of his wife...He replied "Wife name Three Horse"
    "That's an unusual name for your wife, Three Horse, what does it mean?"
    "It old Indian name...mean NAG NAG NAG..."

    My good friend and fellow hubber RedElf asked me to help with a joke for your birthday smile and I was happy to oblige - Happy Belated Birthday...hopefully, you will forgive my tardiness, as I only was told about the occasion today smile

 
working