It’s my Birthday! – Make my day…

1. 66

   Lady_Eposted 13 years ago

   Hi
   
   I’m “21 again” today. I would really love if you could post a joke or something funny for me to read. (don’t worry if you can’t think of one). 
   
   I’ve always wanted to post a thread asking people to write a Joke, so I guess this is my opportunity and it would make my day.
   
   Cheers, Elena 

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      Drew Breezzyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      21 again
      time to get faded again
      bright lights
      late nights
      Time to party with friends

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      James Agbogunposted 13 years agoin reply to this

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      James Agbogunposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      During a Bible knowledge revision lesson, a teacher (Mr EARNESTHUB) asked one of the students; "RON MONTGOMERY, who fell the wall of Jericho?"
      
      RON MONGOMERY responded: "not me sir! i have been in class all day. I did not do it"
      
      The teacher was very disappointed. Hence, took RON MONTGOMERY to the Headmaster, Mr MARK KNOWLES. He said, "sir after several lessons on 'the Wall of Jericho', i asked this student who fell the wall of Jericho, he said he was not the one".
      
      And Mr MARK KNOWLES responded: "the boy is right. How can this little boy fall the wall of Jericho?"
      
      The answer should have been: 'the israelites'
      
      Heavenly Birthday, Elena!

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   dennisemattposted 13 years ago

   Im out of jokes but happy birthday!!! And I love your new avitar, you look really pretty. 

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3. 74

   livewithrichardposted 13 years ago

   Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
   
   Happy Birthday!

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      packerpackposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      That was cool ...... and happy birthday dear!

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      James Agbogunposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Oh! you you have just reduced my life span. I only remember my Birthdays weeks after the actual dates.

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4. 60

   Ron Montgomeryposted 13 years ago

   From holidaypost.com:
   
   Some employees bought their boss a gift for his birthday. Before opening the gift, the boss shook it slightly, and noticed that it was wet in the corner. Touching his finger to the wet spot and tasting it, he asked, "A bottle of wine?"
   His employees replied, "No."
   Again, he touched his finger to the box and tasted the liquid. "A bottle of scotch?"
   "His employees replied again, "No."
   Finally the boss asked, "I give up. What is it?"
   His workers responded, "A puppy."

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5. 60

   tantrumposted 13 years ago

   HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEAUTIFUL ONE !!

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   Adam Bposted 13 years ago

   you ever get a song stuck in your head and just can't seem to stop singing it even though you hate it? 
   
   Last week I had a Tom Jones song stuck in my head and I don't even like him.  It was days upon days and with no end in sight, I decided to schedule a therapist appoinment to see if he could do something to help me.
   
   When I got to the therapist I told him I had Tom Jones songs stuck in my head and he said "It's not unusual."

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7. 59

   Dame Scribeposted 13 years ago

   A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"
   
   Happy Birthday, Lady_E a toast to many more!

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8. 70

   Pearldiverposted 13 years ago

   Happy Birthday Elena... Are you a lion of 21st or 22nd?  Almost a Virgo..ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
   
   You have a good day
   it is Sat 22am here..
   
   I'm sorri I would get banned for My Jokes.

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   fierycjposted 13 years ago

   Happy Birthday, E! You're hot!!!

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    wrenfrost56posted 13 years ago

    Many happy returns lady E!
    Three men are lost in the deasert thirsty and tired. One man callapes and bumps his head on something hard. They pick up the object to find it's a lamp as they rub the sand away a genie appears and grants them each one wish. The first man wishes to be at home with his family, his wish is granted so he goes home. The second man wishes to be back with his lover at the hotel, his wish is granted and he disapears too. The thrird man say's to the genie "I have no family and no lover,I feel loney, I wish my friends were here!"

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    wordscribe41posted 13 years ago

    Happy Birthday, Lady E.  Hope it's a great one...

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    badcompany99posted 13 years ago

    Happy Birthday Lady E, I will be round later with yer present

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13. 66

    Lady_Eposted 13 years ago

    Thanks so much guys, (sorry it's taken a while to respond, just getting home - from celebrating).
    
    
    Cheers Dennise, photo's changed for today only, back to normal tomorrow, hope you are enjoying your "me time".
    
    Thanks LiveRichard, Paperpack.
    
    That was Cool Ron.
    
    

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14. 66

    Lady_Eposted 13 years ago

    Lol, Tantrum, Adam B, Damescribe. Thanks a lot.
    
    Tantrum, I love the funky Dance that guy is doing.

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       tantrumposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Happy you liked it

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15. 66

    Lady_Eposted 13 years ago

    Thanks Pearl and Fiery, nice of you to stop by.
    
    Drew, that was Sweet. Your really good at these Limericks.
    
    Cheers Wrenfrost, nice one.  What a wish to ask for...
    
    

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16. 66

    Lady_Eposted 13 years ago

    Thanks Wordscribe - my fellow Leo. It was a lovely one.
    
    Cheers Badcompany, look forward to it - Wouldn't mind a bottle of Irish Cream... 

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       mtsi1098posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       happy bday - will captain morgan work?

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    lrohnerposted 13 years ago

    Luv your new avatar, Lady E! And happy, happy BDay!
    
    Here's a little bday joke for you...
    
    A man asked his wife what she would most for her birthday. She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then the were off to a movie theater where they ate popcorn and sweets and drank Cola. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
    
    Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"

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    1. 66

       Lady_Eposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks Irohner, this is lovely.
       
       
       
       I hope the Twins are doing much better now.
       
       Regards, Elena x.

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    easy1posted 13 years ago

    A man dressed in KKK outfit walks into a bar with a pig under his arm, the barman  says "where did ye get him", the pig says "I won him in a raffle!".Happy birthday Lady E.

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    goodfriendiamposted 13 years ago

    A three legged ruff and tough looking dog walks into the bar, and he says "OK everyone listen up, by the time I count to three someone better fess up, because I want the man, who shot my paw."
    
    
    
    I know not so good...lol...Happy Birthday anyways.

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       easy1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Losing your paw thats tough, its a dogs life,(sorry had to say it.)

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          earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Paw dog!

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             goodfriendiamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             cute....lol

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          goodfriendiamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          
          
          very cute...lol

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    earnestshubposted 13 years ago

    Happy birthday to you Lady E
    I see you're a Leo like me
    I know you'll look fine
    with a glass of red wine
    and all the good wishes you see!

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21. 66

    Lady_Eposted 13 years ago

    To: Mtsi1098, Easy1, Goodfriend and Earnest,
    
    Thanks for your lovely Birthday messages,
    I enjoyed them so much,
    Reading while having breakfast with sausages,
    You definitely have the humourous touch.
    
    
    Cheers
    
    

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    aoiffe379posted 13 years ago

    A teacher tested students by playing a spelling game called Take Em Down.Calley got the word 'house' and misspelled it,so he was taken down. Don,Calley's best friend got mosquito and spelled it correctly.At the end of the game,Calley was visibly upset.He told Don the reason.The teacher had given him a big word like house;and Don had received a small word like mosquito!
    
    I'm better at writing poetry:
    
    Do something different;
    But,have a lot of fun.
    Give of yourself more
    Ere the day is done.
    
    Take some time to 'go apart',
    Wherever that might be.
    Take some time to plan your path.
    Most of all, happy birthday Lady E!

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    1. 66

       Lady_Eposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Loved the Joke and the Poem. Beautiful.
       
       First time I'm seeing you in Forums - On reading your profile, I notice we have a lot in Common so I'll be back to read your Hubs.
       
       Cheers.

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23. 61

    aoiffe379posted 13 years ago

    A teacher tested students by playing a spelling game called Take Em Down.Calley got the word 'house' and misspelled it,so he was taken down. Don,Calley's best friend got mosquito and spelled it correctly.At the end of the game,Calley was visibly upset.He told Don the reason.The teacher had given him a big word like house;and Don had received a small word like mosquito!
    
    I'm better at writing poetry:
    
    Do something different;
    But,have a lot of fun.
    Give of yourself more
    Ere the day is done.
    
    Take some time to 'go apart',
    Wherever that might be.
    Take some time to plan your path.
    Most of all, happy birthday Lady_ E!

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    ralwusposted 13 years ago

    happy birthday Lady E;
    An elephant asked a camel, "Why do you have two boobs on your back?"
    The camel replied, "That's a strange question from someone who has a dick on his face."

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       goodfriendiamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Oh my! coming out of a mouth of an animal that looks like it has butt cheeks on his face!....lol

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    emievilposted 13 years ago

    Happy birthday Lady_E! My jokes are not really that good so I'll pass . Enjoy your day!

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    ralwusposted 13 years ago

    But I never asked the question. LOL

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    asalvaniposted 13 years ago

    Happy Birthday, lovely lady!

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    RedElfposted 13 years ago

    Better late than never - belated Birthday greetings! Hope your day was wonderful!

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    Ladybird33posted 13 years ago

    Happy Birthday, live life, my friend!

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    Valerie Fposted 13 years ago

    That must've been quite a Thanksgiving....

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    Enelle Lambposted 13 years ago

    An old Indian was asked the name of his wife...He replied "Wife name Three Horse"
    "That's an unusual name for your wife, Three Horse, what does it mean?"
    "It old Indian name...mean NAG NAG NAG..."
    
    My good friend and fellow hubber RedElf asked me to help with a joke for your birthday and I was happy to oblige - Happy Belated Birthday...hopefully, you will forgive my tardiness, as I only was told about the occasion today

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