My son use to do 'the hug and kiss trick' for breast milk... He was breast fed until he was almost two when I decided that enough was enough. My plan was to do it for 1 year exactly. I felt that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach when he would cry and then hug and kiss my face... then he would reach for the boob five minutes later, and I would know for sure that I was being played.
How much is too much? I was not hurting him by stopping, in fact I feel that I hurt him because I continued for so long. The point of being parent (I think) is to lead your child into an independent state (teach a man to fish***)
My husband tells our toddler all the things we do when we are not with him and it seems to calm him down. He tells our son why I am no longer able to breast feed and all the alternatives. We have a small refrigerator that he is able to use at any-time and we fill it up with his cups and bottles with juice and milk and he is able to take one whenever he wishes and we let him know it's because he will no longer be getting milk from me and that this is what big boys do.
Communication and alternatives works for us and it may also work for you and your little girl. Like the promise of extra hugs when she wakes up or just anything extra special that she likes to do as a reward in the mornings, just for being a big girl... Good luck with it.