If a man is not the affectionate type.would he find it unusual for a woman to as

1. 69

   brakel2posted 13 years ago

   If a man is not the affectionate type.would he find it unusual for a woman to ask for a hug?
   
   This is real life situation. Men and women are hard to read at times. Need book of instructions.

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2. 69

   Bretsukiposted 13 years ago

   Hello brakel2,
   
   It can be very uncomfortable to be hugged.
   
   I grew up in a different culture of physical affection. Hugging and touching of most kinds were not considered appropriate. So I grew up and spent most of my life very much at arms length from people.
   
   My wife's family and alot of her friends are very much into hugging. For me greeting and goodbyes are very uncomfortable just because of the hugs, though I have often said that I feel uncomfortable with the situation, I am over-ruled as being anti-social. That in time I will have to like it.
   
   I would say find the person's perspective by asking, if a hug is ok, if they don't want that level of contact then respect that. There are amny reasons cultural, emotional and social that make us what we are.

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3. 69

   brakel2posted 13 years ago

   Thank you so much for honest answer it explains such depth of thought

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4. 78

   arksysposted 13 years ago

   it all depends on his background i guess. I know some may really need one but will not say it, nor will they know how to initiate it...
   
   I think if they're smiling at you while you talk to them they won't mind the hug at all.

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5. 67

   sugzposted 13 years ago

   people that aren't affectionate usually end up being more affectionate than their partners..
   he woudlnl't find it unusual being asked for a hug, especially if she has always been affectionate, but to not be then suddenly ask.. that would seem unusual and he might wonder what she wants LOL
   
   there's a saying.. start as you intend to continue.. so if you start dating someone who is not affectionate and you are.. stay that way, eventually they will begin to like affection and willingly give it.. providing they are not pushed into it but encouraged through love and affection from you.
   
   i went out with one guy who hated affection, so i said to him.. how else ya gona get laid.. aint gona happen with out affection.. he didn't last long, was gone in a week.. some guys just need to be taught.. and some women.. it all comes down to their upbringing.. affectionate fammilies create affectionate adults.. unafectionate families, create cold unfeeling emotions that rebuke a hug or a kiss or even a smile in some cases.
   
   @ bretsuki.. we grew up without hugs too and for a long time i couldnt accept them and even to this day i wont hug certain people when i don't feel comfortable but try to look at it this way, if you love someone, you accept them and their ways completely and to be hugged is a sign of love and gratitude.. if you feel greatful to your wife.. give her a hug, it doesn't have to be the back rubbing kind of hug, but just wrap arms around her and lean on her, that will show her, you have accepted her 200% and that you just want her to feel appreciated..
   you will shock and please her all in one. and beleive it or not, you will feel the warm fuzzies too that just make ya want to smile for no reason.

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6. 44

   DDEposted 12 years ago

   Some men would feel uncomfortable to ask for a hug especially if not affectionate. Agree!!!

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