Should I have another child?

1. 64

   nasus loopsposted 13 years ago

   Should I have another child?
   
   My first born son is 2year 9 month, but is struggling with settling at preschool.  He has started to push, hit, kick and bite the other children as well as now doing it at home.  I woudl like another child, but am concerned that now may not be a good time for him.  Your opinions please.

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2. 60

   IdeaMorphistposted 13 years ago

   If approached correctly, a younger sibling might aid in your first born's growth and social development. I would say if you truly feel you can handle it financially, as well as the mental strain of playing sub-conscious counselor than go for it.
   
   There should be plenty of parenting material online to help you with preparing your first born throughout your pregnancy or with how to handle situations once you have your second child. Best of luck to you

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3. 60

   tobey100posted 13 years ago

   I have 5 children, all boys.  If I'd let one child effect my decision on whether or not to have another I'd only have one.  That first child that presented so many behavioral problems and subsequently never finished high school, turned out to be a very intelligent and talented young man that is now a successful artist, graphics designer and businessman.  You never know.  I never planned on having 5 boys but they are unique in their own way and you can never judge one against the other.  I've found this to be true (the hard way I might add).  The choice is yours.  You may find that a second child provides a calming, beneficial environment for the first as well.

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4. 0

   mc23gposted 13 years ago

   Although I think you should talk it over with your loved one, here is my suggestion;
   
   You already have a small boy, so you already know how to take care of a child, i'm sure. I would wait a little until your son gets used to preschool. (9 months seems ok to me) I would also make sure to take him around other small children, and see how reacts.
   
   That being said, I don't see any other reason for you not to have another child. I say go for it!

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5. 64

   aka-djposted 13 years ago

   "..but am concerned that now may not be a good time for him."
   I think you should be more concerned about his current behaviour. Get  that under control before you have another child.
   You will not be doing yourself nor your kids any favours if you let this behaviour go on, unchallenged.
   I am all for siblings in a family, but not at the expense of more disfunction.

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6. 85

   rebekahELLEposted 13 years ago

   I am assuming you are working so your child must be in preschool?
   I would check with the preschool to make sure this is where you want your son. children at that age generally do have a hard time making the transition, but if the school has good teachers and the classrooms are run properly, I would have an appointment with the teachers to see what may be triggering his behavior.  Or it may not be the best school for your child.  In that case, find another school.  I have a hub about finding the right preschool for your child.
   Before considering another child, I would make sure you and your husband are ready to bring another child into your life.  Your youngest one will continue to grow and mature, but most of all, are you and your husband ready to parent two young children?

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7. 60

   trisha beanposted 13 years ago

   i think if u are financially stable to take care of another child and your other child is old enough to be more independent then it would be fine to have another child as long as you make sure to give them both the same love and attention

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8. 59

   dabeanerposted 13 years ago

   Yeah, mommy, it's all about you, isn't it?  You want another kid even though you already have one little monster.

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9. 64

   nasus loopsposted 13 years ago

   Thank you everyone for your comments.  The preschool and myself are working closely together to try and improve the situation. We have contacted the local children's centre for help and support, the speech and language team have since referred him on to audiology to check his hearing, in case communication is a factor. 
   
   I am prepared to wait before I have another child as I do not want to make his life any harder than it already is, but at the same time many people feel that sometimes it takes a sibling to sort out a sibling!

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