It seems that some family members only contact you when they want something. Otherwise to them, you do not exist. They have no consideration whatsoever. They do not even care about your circumstances, only what they can get! Do you agree with this premise?
I can't say about family, however there are many so called friends encountered through the ages that fit this discription very well
Every human being has the capacity to be insecure. Family members are not exempt. What makes the OP's observation so striking is that it's true. There are too many expectations from them on their siblings or parents. The result is a crushing feeling that one should do everything in their power to help their 'own blood'. In reality, we are all on this ship alone, it's designed to be that way, in my opinion (Childhood withstanding, of course).
For anyone's specific family members, where it is only all about them - yes.
Wonderful observation (as usual). Since both of my parents are from the Philippines, the families left behind still think that the U.S. has streets of gold, money is plentiful, and everyone living here is rich. It kinda reminds me of the days of the conquistadors--The Fountain of Youth or the Seven Cities of Gold? Sooooooo, many of my relatives back in the Philippines will always ask for money, and they have their lame reasons like dental work or money for schooling. If it's not for them, it's for one of their 10 children. I don't even bother. I have nothing against people helping out the folks back home, but I know these relatives too well. My brother made the mistake of sending money to a relative for dental work, but the money went into cock fighting or booze. He was too lazy to improve himself or get a job. The last thing wrong with him was his teeth! My father ran away at 16 and started a new life in Hawaii. He was getting away from these leeches because no amount of money he sent them was enough.
Oh yes, yes. My mother was the oldest of ten children. Out of the ten children, three were what one may classify as successful and the rest are middling to struggling. Okay, let me further elaborate. The others do not want to improve themselves not one iota. However....yes, there is a however.... they want to live a good life. So they ask my mother for monies "when something happens." My late father called them parasites and I totally concur. I portend that if you want something, work for it! Well, my two aunts asked me to loan them monies. I did and charged them interest with the repayment. I received the monies. I told them that if I did not receive my payment in kind, I will get a collection agency to go after them- that scared them.
Not only the seven siblings are trifling, their children are also trifling. They ask for monies because they want to live an affluent lifestyle. Only a few of the cousins attended college, most finished high school. Well, I do not loan them monies at all! They only call when they want something. I never cared for them and have cut all contact with them. Good riddance!
You were so smart to charge interest! GOOD RIDDANCE to those people who are not responsible for their actions. Now, the only one I have left to completely cut off is a relative who sends graduation invitations. Of course, she and the kids are expecting gifts or money, but I was never included in their lives. I guess, to them, my wallet has taken on a generous personality of its own every May or June? LOL!
Oh yes, I want to add another scenario. My mother stated to me that my middle aunt relayed that a maternal great aunt who was affluent should have helped my grandmother who was continuously getting pregnant, having ten kids in all. Well, I opined that my grandmother should have used birth control if she did not want to have the ten kids!
Uh oh! I am the first of three. The only girl. So I have to laugh. Until I turned forty-five, everyone kept asking me when I was going to have children. It was such a relief when they quit asking. So now, strangers will ask me, "How old are your grandchildren?" My mom is financially set. More than any of her kids and in-laws put together. Being affluent, it must be a drag when family members are always expecting you to help out. I wouldn't ask my mom for financial help. That would be begging. Also, she is so tight with her money that she keeps track of everything. If she loaned anyone money, they would never hear the end of it until the loan was paid off.
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