Loss of a loved one at Christmas ...

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  1. Faith Reaper profile image84
    Faith Reaperposted 9 years ago

    Today is my mother's birthday.  Last year we celebrated her 84th birthday, and then four days later, she went on to celebrate Christmas in Heaven.  The song on the radio that was playing when my brother heard of her death was, "It is too cold out for angels to fly" ... I am sure he will always remember that sad song for it was so very cold that day.  Is it just the first Christmas, after the loss of a loved one such as a mother, that just does not feel right, or will Christmas from here on out, just not feel right as it had?  Actually, it is the second Christmas, because she died on the 20th of December last year, but I guess we were all in shock.  I know she is in Heaven and having the best Christmas, but it just feels so strange ... cannot quite describe it.  Is it just me?  She was the sweetest and most beautiful person I have ever known on this planet, inside and out.  I had never heard her say one ill word against anyone my whole life.  She was truly an angel right here on this earth.  My heart goes out to all those who have lost a loved one around Christmas.  I still have joy in my heart about Christmas, but it just seems different.

    1. shanmarie profile image71
      shanmarieposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      My husband lost his great-grandfather on Christmas Day over 20 years ago, yet I recall him saying something to me a few years ago similar to what you speak of about Christmas since then.  He was very close to the man. 

      Hugs, love, and well wishes to you this season, my sweet friend!

      1. Faith Reaper profile image84
        Faith Reaperposted 9 years agoin reply to this

        Thank you dear Shan ...just cannot describe it. Hugs and love to you and yours too

    2. kidscrafts profile image75
      kidscraftsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      The loss of a love one is always sad but I think when it's close of special days like Christmas, Easter, or even the birthday of a person, it's even harder for those who stay behind.  You were really blessed to have had a kind mother, Faith.  It's a very special gift that you can keep inside you for your whole life.  Nobody can never take that from you. She is shining through you because each time I read something you write you are always so kind!  It's always a pleasure to read either your hubs or your comments!
      I wish you a lot of courage in this difficult season that remind you of her birthday and also Christmas.
      God bless you!  Take good care of yourself!
      Merry Christmas to you and your family!

      1. Faith Reaper profile image84
        Faith Reaperposted 9 years agoin reply to this

        Aw...thank you so much dear Joelle. You are always so kind. Your words are comoforting and I know many are deaoling with such. Maybe it is because of her birthday and Christmas being so close together. I keep thinking I am supposed to get her a gift. I was very blessed to have such a sweet mother in this life and thankful to have had her for as long as I did. I remember we had to wait until the day after Christmas to bury her because it was the holidays and it was the coldest day of the whole year. I remember the wind whipping around us at the grave sight and the poor pastor's hands trembling from the bitter cold. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

        1. Happyboomernurse profile image83
          Happyboomernurseposted 9 years agoin reply to this

          Dear Theresa,
          This post really tugged at my heart strings. I read each person's comments and realized that Kidscrafts had already said a response that included everything that was in my heart.
          A mother like yours truly was a blessing and you already honor her through your writing and through living your faith.
          You will always miss her deeply at this time of year, but I pray you find strength in the wisdom and love she instilled in you. She truly lives on through your spirit.
          Sending a Bouquet of Hugs & Love,

          1. Faith Reaper profile image84
            Faith Reaperposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Thank you dear Gail. Your kind comments mean so much and, yes, you and Joelle are so right about how very blessed I was to have such a sweet mother in this lifetime. I receive your beautiful bouquet of Hugs and love. Blessings and love to you and yours.

    3. Jodah profile image90
      Jodahposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Faith. this Christmas will seem different and probably every other will as well. When a loved one dies, especially close to a holiday, memories are easily brought back. My father died two days before his birthday, so that time every year when I would have been trying to decide what present to buy him is now replaced with a feeling of melancholy and sadness. I'm sure your mother is celebrating with Jesus in Heaven and looking down on you hoping you enjoy the festive season. Thanks for sharing.

      1. Faith Reaper profile image84
        Faith Reaperposted 9 years agoin reply to this

        Hi Dear Jodah, thank you so much for sharing about your father.  I appreciate your genuine and kind comment here and, yes believe during this time, one will, year-after-year, reflect upon those memories.

        It is a joyful time, and having my grandchildren truly brings a lot of joy, not only at Christmas, but all year long. 

        Hugs and much love to you and yours

  2. vocalcoach profile image94
    vocalcoachposted 9 years ago

    Christmas was my son, Todd, happiest time of the year because he loved fulfilling his little childrens dreams.
    It's a tough time of year for me as I miss him with all my heart.  He was - and is my heart.  Thanks for this post, lovely lady.  Blessings and wishes of love for you, dear Faith.

    1. Faith Reaper profile image84
      Faith Reaperposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there sweet lady, Audrey,

      You are so kind.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I understand about missing him, especially this time of year is hard.  Blessings and love to you too, dear Audrey.

      You're the best!

  3. profile image0
    Beth37posted 9 years ago

    I found out my dad had bone cancer over a Christmas visit in 2000. They said it was so slow moving it would be 20 years before anything happened. He had a strep virus in his body, we all carry one around apparently. It would have been nothing for a healthy person, but for someone who's immune system is compromised, it can be fatal. Three weeks after Christmas he was gone. That was 14 years ago... I just had a dream 2 nights ago that he was still alive.

    Our hearts must grieve. Imagine that she was still alive and didn't come to Christmas, that alone would cause you to grieve b/c she belongs there with you. So of course this is a huge loss to you. It will take many years before you think about her without pain, but take heart. Your mind will readjust to the loss and you will make a new place for her at Christmas... in your memories. I'm so sorry for your loss Faith Reaper.

    1. Faith Reaper profile image84
      Faith Reaperposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you dear Beth for such kind and comforting words. I appreciate you sharing about your experience with loss around Christmas and I am so sorry you had to experience such too. Hugs.

  4. profile image0
    Motown2Chitownposted 9 years ago

    Oh, Faith Reaper, I can offer only prayers and my love.  I'll pray that The Lord gives you great joy this Christmas and comfort from the memories of all the ones you shared with your Mom.  Peace, dear sister.

    1. Faith Reaper profile image84
      Faith Reaperposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much for your prayers dear Motown2Chitown for I truly appreciate and welcome them! Yes there are beautiful memories and I was blessed to have such a sweet and precious mother in this life. Peace and blessings to you too.

  5. FatFreddysCat profile image93
    FatFreddysCatposted 9 years ago

    My sympathies on the loss of your dear Mother. I can relate to what you're saying. My father died on Christmas Eve 1999 after a brutal (but thankfully for his sake, brief) battle with leukemia. Needless to say, it was several years before any of us felt "Christmasy" again in December.

    It gets easier as the years go by but the holidays are still somewhat strange for me. I try to stay as positive as I can for the sake of my kids, who weren't even born yet when my Dad passed.

    ...and every year on Christmas Eve my brother and I make sure to have a drink or two "for the old man."

    1. Faith Reaper profile image84
      Faith Reaperposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much FatFreddysCat for sharing about your dear dad. I am so sorry for your great loss. Yes, you described it well using the word "strange" as that is exactly how it feels ...just so strange for I keep thinking I am going to see her and her sweet smiling face and need to get her birthday and Christmas presents picked out.  Blessings.

  6. Sparklea profile image59
    Sparkleaposted 9 years ago

    Oh Dear Faith, I so remember your mother's transition to Heaven, and I remember thinking what an incredibly strong woman you are.  I SO hate the sting of death, and that's what it is.  An awful sting, no matter when or how.  It is an inevitable future every single one of us on this planet faces.  And it's heart wrenching when it happens...especially losing a parent.

    My mother who raised me from birth (our father's mother-we called her 'mom') died on my 16th birthday.  One of the worst days of my life.  You can only celebrate 16 once...and it never happened.  Death has no respect of time nor any consideration for those left behind.  There is never a birthday that I am not reminded of that awful loss...and I am certain you will especially fondly think of your mom during the Christmas season, as well as, throughout the year.

    But praise God, Jesus Christ rose from the dead, and He conquered death!  I truly believe we WILL be reunited with our loved ones when the time comes.

    I was recently introduced to the following excerpt someone read out loud during a funeral service:  My desire is that it gives you hope and peace, dear Faith.  Here it is:

    "This body is not me.
    I am not caught in this body.
    I am life without limit...

    Look at the ocean and the sky filled with stars,
    manifestations from my wondrous true mind.

    Since beginningless time, I have always been free.
    Birth and death are only doors through which we pass.
    sacred thresholds on our journey...

    So laugh with me,
    hold my hand
    let us say good-bye,
    say good-bye to meet again.

    We meet today,
    we will meet tomorrow,
    we meet at the source in every moment,
    we meet each other in all forms of life."

    God bless you always, dear Faith Reaper smile  Sparklea smile

    1. Faith Reaper profile image84
      Faith Reaperposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Oh, thank you so much dearest Sparklea, I am so touched by the beautiful words and truth you have shared here.  You have such a loving and kind spirit. I am sorry about your great loss too, especially at such a young age and that particular age is so difficult!  God bless you too, Faith Reaper

  7. Sparklea profile image59
    Sparkleaposted 9 years ago

    THANK YOU FAITH...By the way, I sent you an email also, please let me know if you didn't get it...if not, I will re send it.
    Blessings, Sparklea smile

    1. Faith Reaper profile image84
      Faith Reaperposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thank YOU!  I did, but had my hands in sausage cheese balls to bake in the morning.  Just finished rolling them up : )

      HUGS, Faith Reaper

  8. kidscrafts profile image75
    kidscraftsposted 9 years ago

    May be you could make a gift to a special organization that helps a cause she believed in in her honour?  There are so many good causes!  Just an idea :-)
    Take good care of yourself!

    1. Faith Reaper profile image84
      Faith Reaperposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Joelle (kidscrafts),

      That is a great idea!  Thank you so much sweet friend.

      Blessings to you and yours


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