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Questionable father/daughter relationship

  1. profile image53
    rayne27posted 4 years ago

    Hello to all readers, this would be my second time posting regarding this topic and I will just be copy/pasting from the previous forum this was in as I really need more mature answers.

    I've been dating the love of my life for nearly 4 months now and I know she doesn't have a very good relationship with her father which I won't elaborate on but they aren't exactly the cuddly and very friendly duo.

    It started when I found out she (a woman of 21) was completely fine with being naked in front of her dad, and what shocked me at that point was that he displayed no signs of embarrassment nor did he ask her to cover up. He merely looked at her as if it were normal. Being her partner, I obviously didn't like that. The next incident was when her father came into her room with her on the bed, and very abruptly yanked away the blankets covering her then while dragging her up to ask her to bathe as it was already past noon and she was feeling unwell and still resting. He then hurried her to the bathroom and yanked up her pajamas leaving her nude right in front of him (though she had the decency then to turn around and hurry into the bathroom) and that was only after I confronted her about being naked in front of him. I didn't see any of it happening but she told me it happened. It was the first time she had ever 'turned away' from him and no, she did say that him undressing her was normal too. He lingered in her room until she had to shoo him out.

    Later on I found out from her that her dad had offered to wash her back before (and DID wash her back for her as she had pimples around the area). Of course, she was fully nude while he was washing her. The worse thing about it that I can't get out of my mind is the fact that he even got a hard on while washing her back and later on stripped down till he was fully nude as well (that was how she found out he was aroused) and asked her to wash his back in turn while he sat on a stool. He was not embarrassed or awkward at all and even commented that he wasn't young anymore and that it (the erection) would go away soon.

    It doesn't stop there. I also found out that during family vacations where they have to share a room (mom, dad, bro and her), she sleeps on the same bed with him and he literally hugs her to sleep chest to back and with his leg over her. Please note that i mentioned they aren't the type to cuddle and are not very close.

    I don't know if it's just me getting upset over it as her partner, or if it's really something that's not right. No she is not a kid, nor a teen, but a young adult woman and I just can't get it out of my mind. She finds it normal, but I'm utterly disgusted by it. Not at her, but at her father and I'm not sure what the right way is to approach this. I've already tried to talk to her about it but I tend to overreact and she did say she would try to do something about it but her something doesn't involve direct confrontation. Would love to hear any honest opinions and thoughts about it especially from the point of view of a parent. But please do not offend her in any way.

    1. amiebutchko profile image88
      amiebutchkoposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      If your post is real, I would have to say as a parent, that yes, I do think  that it is completely weird and not "normal" behavior at all.  I would definitely suggest looking further into what is really going on with the father or has gone on in the past, and yes, I would be leary of him.  As well, if you ever have children, I would be cautious of ever leaving them alone with this man.  That is my opinion.

  2. psycheskinner profile image82
    psycheskinnerposted 4 years ago

    My first guess is that you are a spammer as emotive first posts often work out that way.

    But on the off chance you are not, nudity taboos are not universal.  Just because you are uncomfortable does not mean there is anything wrong.

  3. profile image0
    Beth37posted 4 years ago

    I would agree, this is just Jerry-Springer-posting, but on the off chance you are being honest, why on earth would you seek advice on a writers forum?
    Why wouldn't you seek professional council when dealing with something as serious as incest and abuse?

    http://www.rainn.org/get-information/ef … xual-abuse

    http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/ … vivors.php

    http://therapistnyc.com/a-healing-relat … survivors/

  4. profile image0
    Beth37posted 4 years ago

    Look at the similarities between this hub and the one in this thread.

    In the old thread, you can see how many ppl were actually trolls as they all have 0's by their names now. It's not like just one troll started the thread and that was it... there were many trolls who kept it going (though it could have all been the same person). Yet there's no advertising on it... so I assume it's just for the purpose of salacious posting? We get tons of these kinds of posts on this forum and they are always so similar.