Little boy lost

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   blackbutterfly103posted 16 years ago

   Yesterday I ran into a woman that I know she has 3 kids one of the 3 as mental issues and I notice that I had not seen him.
   I asked her how the child was doing and she stated that she had him put away. Now I'm known to be an understanding person but many occasions I've heard her threaten the child about sending him a way. I wonder was he acting out because his mother had 2 other kids? Does he need Love or Doctors? A touchy subject I'd like to hear other opinions

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      DjBryle Worksposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      Its difficult to read other people's mind and its more difficult to know what's in their heart... the best way is to ask... but be extra careful, you might turn out to be a meddler and you will risk yourself of being called one.

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         blackbutterfly103posted 16 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks for your opinion i don't worry about meddling when it comes to children I will meddle. I am one of the few positive people in her life and at times she looks to me for words of wisdom just this time I was stuck between my emotions and my human nature attitude to be judgemental

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            DjBryle Worksposted 16 years agoin reply to this

            That's wonderful of you... and since you have mentioned that you're close with his mom and you have taken care of him, I would suggest casually asking her where her son is... and say you just miss seeing him around....

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               blackbutterfly103posted 16 years agoin reply to this

               I got the address so I just started sending him cards he'll be home this weekend so I'll go see him

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                  DjBryle Worksposted 16 years agoin reply to this

                  Hey! That's great... I hope he's well... God bless you for having a good heart. Take care.

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   Motherhood Trialsposted 16 years ago

   Alot of questions not answered in the post but with what limited information there is I feel very bad for this child. I can not imagine a mother with such a harsh verbal attitude toward her child that clearly is not in control of all of his behaivors and not by his own will. How very sad. Perhaps he may need a doctor or outside help but not without the understanding love, protection, and support of his/her own mother.

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   blackbutterfly103posted 16 years ago

   She couldn't control him when he would run into me on his bad days I would give him my undivided attention he would smile and indulge in conversation. I would tell him the bad day is over and tomorrow would be better and he would smile and say okay. He enjoyed playing with my kids and I never a violent action toward us just laughter

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   mellanposted 16 years ago

   This is a very difficult situation to figure out. No one who doesn't have a special needs child or a child with mental health issues can begin to imagine all the ways this puts a strain on a family.  Even a mother who loves their child with all their heart can become frustrated and say something she doesn't mean, or wishes she hadn't said even if it might happen. It is wonderful that you helped this boy and were a friend to him, but without more facts do not judge the mother too harshly. Yes, a child who gets undivided attention will many times do great, but a mother with two other children cannot always give undivided attention, there are others who need it as well. Many children act up at home that do not do so with others and the bigger they become the more difficult it is to control the environment and make it safe and it is possible that this is why she had to do what she did.  Even if it was the right decision, the need to make it will probably haunt her the rest of her life.

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      blackbutterfly103posted 16 years agoin reply to this

      Very true and thank you naturally we as human judge not saying it is right but we do. I have decided to be there for the both of them because yes I'm sure the decision id haunting her now and I'm positive every night she cries for her child. So thaough I have my family and work I think that maybe it take a village to raise a child in this case so why not help her as much I can.

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   Dame Scribeposted 16 years ago

   If this woman is a single mother...the stress is ultra high and she would need help. How about offer take her special needs son for a few hours or her other children? ...I know children services around here offer *respite* services for such parents and caregivers. She will be forever grateful to you for that kindness.

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      blackbutterfly103posted 16 years agoin reply to this

      she did that they couyldn't handle him he just got more angry and abusive when he went their ao they seent him up to saratoga NY

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         Motherhood Trialsposted 16 years agoin reply to this

           Just wondering,and if you dont mind me asking..How old is this little boy ? Also would you mind telling me an example of his behavior in general? ie: verbal outburst, violent or distructive behavior, Is it often ,ect...Has he been Labeled with any type of spicific disorder ? Does he struggle with any physcial disabilaties as well...(that sort of info). Not meaning to pry so please dont answer anything that makes you uneasy. I was just thinking that some hubbers my have had children with similar behaviors and their comments would be the most helpful to you. In different parts of the world people sometimes treat the same things by different methods. If what has been tried up til now has not worked or helped maybe someone elses experience could point a different direction that could possibly be more successful for the child.?

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   StacyTheBatposted 16 years ago

   When I saw this I had too reply. There is nothing worse than that bitter taste it leaves in  your mouth to hear such things. This is when you have to realize that maybe it is not such a bad thing they sent him away. He possibly may now get the love now that he deserves and needs. Some people are just not cut out to handle mental issues in there children especially when they are theres. It is a shame that the siblings have to be separated. You have a kind heart and it is a shame too many people close the doors.

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