start as soon as they are old enough to follow directions. but don't be fooled - as they get older it's going to get more difficult for them to follow through.
When they are at the toddler stage, making it a game helps. As they get older, it becomes more difficult to find ways to make it fun. Many parents bargain with their kids by allowing or dissallowing things based on whether their room is clean or not. Eventually, they seem to either be tidy children or not no matter what you do.
Yep! They grow up tidy or they don't. I don't know if it helps, but I have had some success with logic. I explained to my twin four year old grandchildren that it is nicer to able to know where everything is.
Asha told me she knew where everything was. It was on the floor!
Her twin thought that knowing where everything is was a good reason and proceeded to put her toys away.
My 6 year old grandson just does not care. He is superspiderman, and has 2 older sisters who do that menial stuff while he saves the planet.
They are all pretty good and I don't fuss it too much. More important to listen to them, rather than get on their case all the time.
Children are the most versatile little creatures in the world. They learn what YOU teach UM. Begining with Love and then 2 sided respect and a desire to please each other.
Ya get one chance at it. Make sure that you truly do your best at these and you will learn to like the results.
That is the formula.... Now you go girl
Nice! The love seems to take care of most of it.
Ya gotta love the kids. It's tha thinking that there is only one way to do it right that messes up many parents.
Love um and learn to like the results.
After all ... 10 years from now it ain't goina matter if they cleaned up their room yeaterday.
Now on the other hand Parents ain't raising children!
They are raising adults that they hopefully can enjoy their company in 10 or 20 years.
My child is 7. It seems to work best for me when I make it a game. I will go into the room and tell her I am timing her for like, lets say 10 minutes. I tell her, I bet you can't clean your whole room in ten minutes. Usually, she is up for the challenge. She will race to put everything away. Since she is not really paying attention to the time. I will not go in in then minutes. I will let her finish, and when she says is it time yet, I will say almost you better hurry. She will then me to come look and be very proud. It might work. It depends on the child.
As a parent you should get used to being a servant, cook and house-cleaner, chauffeur, zoo-keeper of a range of small animals, an entertaining clown, able to convert to a donkey to carry all their stuff, audience to much-too-loud horrible music throughout the house, a professor in several disciplines to do their homework, and get used to the idea that when they reach 14 you will be wrong about everything and never understand them - then enjoy the peace and solitude when they leave for Uni with all your money and your car. Gotta love em though!
Please don't! My mother was one of those martyrs who never asked us to help around the house - she wanted us (all girls) to devote ourselves to schoolwork so we could have great careers. The result is that I'm the world's worst housewife - I struggle to understand the point of dusting a ledge when I know it will look just as dusty again in three days' time, and it never occurs to me to vacuum the carpet.
I know that's the wrong attitude, and I know very few people enjoy housework - but I do think if my mother had made us help around the house even a little bit, it would've become a habit and it would have been easier for me to maintain that habit into adulthood.
Hi Marissa - you do realise this was a tongue in cheek joke I hope
I like your way of doing housework Marisa, I see no need to keep it all pristine. Gotta have a life as well!
Some days I could change my grandson's clothes 5 times a day because they are no longer clean, it's all about priorities, I'd rather he kept playing and having fun, than changing clothes.
My office desk is a fine example of not worrying too much about housework too.
My kids are older now and living on their own, but when they were younger and at home, they woke up every Saturday morning to a list of chores, including all of the tasks involved in cleaning their rooms. The older ones helped the younger ones read the list and check things off.
This system worked like a charm for me for years. With a written list in hand and the knowledge that there was no TV or outings until the list was complete, things got done with little to no argument.
I remember posting signs that said something like "enter at your own risk; (with a skull and cross bones) these premises are condemned; teenager will be evicted at 4:00 pm tomorrow if this room is not cleaned and all garbage disposed of carefully"
All in humour of course - and guess what? the room got cleaned. I'd remove the sign. This tactic worked several times in a row too! I think it was better to use some humour rather than appearing to be nagging at that time. The teenage friends loved seeing the eviction signs posted - I'd change it up - but always with humour.
We made it into a game, we would tell our son we were going to play pick up and the first win to put all of the toys into the box won. Of course he always won, but it was always fun. Sometimes we would also play toss to see who could get the toys into the box first.
My son is five and he would never willingly do anything such as clean his room so I have to be strict. When he wants to go out and play with his friends and ask if he has cleaned his room and if its a mess he has clean before he can play. Once or twice he responded by saying he didn't really want to go out and play with his friends (which threw me a bit) but most of the time he makes an effort. Now it wouldn't pass any tests but it is the effort that counts and hopefully will stand to him as he gets older. Most Irish mums destroyed their boys in my mothers day and they treated them like they were gods, girls did all the chores, in my house everyone chips in.
I struggle with this quite a bit. As previously said some kids are tidy and some.. well you get the point. I just posted a hub on this and how to organize their room so that *hopefully* they can keep it tidy. So far it has been working with my 4 year old daughter. But finding what fits their personality can take time and patience. Good luck!
Show them what you expect them to do and give them little rewards for tidying up. That could be a good start...
I must admit this is one of my produset accomplishments as a parent. Seeing as how I was not very tidy as a child
We do the "clean up" song. I'm not sure of your child's age but my 22 month old particiaptes and understands the meaning of clean up thanks to Barney the purple dinosaur.
We make it simple and a game, often times I make the children race (I have a 3 year old and a 22 month old). Whoever wins picks to "book" for the evening. Although I do make proclaim winners on an even "basis". Good luck.
Start small, have a simple place for things. Forget orgnization if their to young for that now. Just have a "toy box" that they throw things in.
My children got into the routine of tidying and cleaning their rooms from an early age and I can't really remember how it started, they just always helped and then took on the responsibility. It's when they became teenagers that it became a problem and then it was resolved when I threatened to search their room looking for unsuitable literature unless they cleaned the rooms themselves. Mainly, I think they were proud of their space and liked it being tidy.
My son is 2, and if I ask him to help me clean the room, most of the time he will help. I have my ex's mom to thank for this! So I am hoping that he will be more helpful with cleaning the older he gets....I will have to see.
I am a firm believer that a child begins to learn as soon as they are able to see you. It is true that you are the role model -- by showing and talking to them as you clean, they learn how to do it and see it as routine. I held my youngest in my arms from the day he was born while cleaning, tidying, folding his laundry. I talked to him consitently and kept it a routine. By the time he was able to crawl, he was putting his toys in the toy box; when he was able to walk, he was making his bed. Children learn by watching the example that you set. And yes, eventually they may decide they don't want to keep things neat and tidy, but the foundation has been laid.
Well we can all learn from mistakes...so I thought. I hated getting up every Saturday morning to do chores - hated it. I was a messy teen and young adult. When my kids were little I tried the game approach too, we picked up together. As they got older, they had a small list, but we always worked together. Now one is a certified neat freak (with bouts of confusion), the other could care less if he has sheets on his bed
I have three children, ages 8, 6, and 3. My children will pick up their rooms(ie, pick up things off the floor, clean off desks/tables, etc.), but I do the real cleaning (ie, vaccuuming, dusting, throwing away unnecessary objects when they aren't looking). When my two older ones were younger I worked in their rooms with them, but now I warn them that I need to clean the floors in their room and everything needs to be picked up. TV goes off until their rooms are cleaned or they are not allowed outside until it is clean. I usually drop the bomb on them when they have asked if they can do something, ie. go outside and ride their bikes, play on the playground, or watch a movie. They ask and I respond in my loving mother voice, "Sure, honey, as soon as your room is picked up." Works like a charm.
I learned from the Montessori preschool approach that if everything has a place to "live" the kids will put it back there, with a little urging - When they were little I helped them find where everything went and they worked along with me (sometimes getting distracted to play with a toy) but we took as long as we needed and did it happily. The key was not to attach unhappy emotions to the task. Then when they got older they found that they naturally felt best when things were put away and clean. In fact, I could tell how they were feeling by how clean they kept their rooms. If they kept everything reasonably clean, they were doing well, but if they neglected stuff, I could see something was probably out of balance. I know I am like that with my own stuff, when I ignore cleaning, I am usually depressed or becoming depressed.
In my country when they at Junior high school or 7 years old should clean their own room
My son is 5 now.
From very young, he "helped" do things round the house - carrying his own plate into the kitchen, putting his toys away, helping put dirty clothes into the washing machine.
Now clearing up toys and so forth is part of our evening routine, after a bath and before reading a story. Just part of what we do.
I have 5 kids ranging in age from 4 to 25. I have found over the years the best way to get the kids to do anything is to "Break it Down". What I mean by that is you can't just say "go clean your room". You have to be very specific and you will get it done in segments.
So, you want you kid to clean their room. First tell them to go pick up all the action figures and put them in the right place. Then, tell them to go pick up all their cars and trucks and put them in the right place and so on and so forth.
That is the best way to get things done. Don't forget to lead by example. The kids are much more likely to get the cleaning done when they see the parents doing their part as well.
have a good one!
Around Christmas I told my children Santa does not bring presents to kids with dirty rooms. worked everytime....lol
I think the best way is by rewarding them. Whether it is a dollar or two, or an hour extra of playing, when they are rewarded, they will obey. Just like teaching a dog tricks. You have to look at it like this. In life, even when we are at jobs, we are rewarded for a good job. When we are, it makes us want to do it more and do it better. Same goes for children at a young age.
by Kristi Sharp 9 years ago
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