If there is a stay at home mom/dad in the house, should the spouse also partake

1. 57

   YeahISaidItposted 14 years ago

   If there is a stay at home mom/dad in the house, should the spouse also partake in household chores?

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2. 59

   Kebennett1posted 14 years ago

   Absolutely. It takes two people to take care of children and a household. While one is at work away from the home, then the other is working in the home, caring for the children, the home, doing the errands, etc... It is work! When both are at home, they are still on the job. Having a home and a family is a 24 hour a day job. There is no reason for one person to do that job alone. You must understand what each other goes through each day while away from each other and working. Have respect for the magnitude of that work. Then you will have respect for what it takes to continue working at home. Divide the work carefully, thoughtfully taking into consideration each persons strengths and weaknesses. If it makes one person throw up to clean out a toilet, then the other person should care enough to step in and say, hey no problem I can take on that job! If one person has a bad back, or a good health reason why they shouldn't take out the trash, they the other needs to be compassionate and do it. When one is not feeling well, or exhausted from an abnormally tough day, the other can cook! It is all about respect, give and take. You are help-mates.

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3. 57

   Melissa Petersposted 14 years ago

   Yes.  If for no other reason than to make sure the stay at home mom/dad doesn't feel taken advantage of or like a servent. Both people committed to the marriage and both people should help.

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4. 57

   YeahISaidItposted 14 years ago

   Kebennett1 and Melissa Peters, I thank the both of you for responding to this question. I must say that both of your answers were great ones, and I couldn't agree with the both of you more! Kebennett1, you hit the nail on the head with cleaning the toilet and taking out the trash comments. I personally have the toilet problem, and I had this problem long before my husband and I got married. This is a problem that he knew about before we were living together and I can honestly say he does not care that I go through this. So thank you both for letting me know that I'm not just making a big deal about nothing. Melissa Peters, I thank you for making the comment about feeling taken advantage of and like a servant. It is very easy to make a person feel like they are only worth cleaning up and taking after you.
   We must all be careful of the consideration that we show each other, this includes the stay at home parent. Because it is also possible to make the person who is working outside of the home feel as if he or she is taking all the weight on. However, most families that have a stay at home mom/dad have chosen that position between the two of them.

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5. 60

   Illuminatiiposted 14 years ago

   I have heard it said that if one partner works outside the home, the other should manage the home and children. This is untrue. Take for instance a man that leaves for work at 8am and returns home at 6pm. His spouse has spent the day doing laundry, preparing meals, grocery shopping, taking kids here and there, and general household chores. The man eats his dinner and then sinks into his chair for a few hours of TV and reading his paper, while his spouse spends those same hours cleaning up the dinner mess, bathing babies, and getting them into bed. She also needs to finish folding laundry and take out dinner trash. How is this right? a stay at home parent does not have it "easy" they never get a day off. If after work chores take 3 hours for the wife to do on her own, the husband should take over half. This then gives her a break and makes quiet time for them to spend together after.  Just my opinion.

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6. 54

   Rosalind56posted 14 years ago

   Yes, I agree with the lady who says when the man comes home from an 8 hr day of work he thinks nothing of helping around the house. 
   Her day is not done.  I remember working until 10 at night getting things ready for the next day.  Please don't comment on what did I do all day.  I had three boys under 5 who needed to be fed, played with, bathed, loved, listened to, held, coddled, taught, diciplined, cared for when sick, grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, washing, yard work,etc etc. and then put on a pretty face, clean myself up, have dinner ready and smile when the hubby came home to hear about his day......but sometimes you can reason with adults (meaning his work.....try reasoning with a 2 yr old) Those days are over.....my boys are young men now ...on there own and I hope I have insatilled that a relationship is 100 to 100 not 50/50.  When you try 50/50 you're always keeping score. Give a 100% of yourself ...and if you can't you don't care enough and you need to move on.  I'm talking about before you make a commitment.    You see I'm cought in the middle.  I'm in my 50's.....today some women who do stay at home don't seem to realize just how lucky they are!  And the men they are married to seem to accept a messy house, cooking their own dinner, etc. When do we reach a happy medium.  Grandma's from the womens lib and Grandpa's from the men are all beat all.  No wonder if your 25 to 35 yrs of age you're totally confused.
   M

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