How do you help Kids cope with a Divorce?
Every child loves to see their parents together and it’s heart breaking to see them split up. How can you get them through it?
Make sure they are not put in any situation to have to pick sides, keep any negativity away from them such as; fighting of any kind, name calling or any type of bashing the other parent. These things often happen and they really do leave a lingering affect on the kids. Also, don't lean on the kids for a support system, sometimes a parent doesn't realize they are doing this. Most of all make sure the kids know how much they're loved from both parents.
The most important thing you can do is always ask yourself if the decisions you are making are best for your children or if they really serve your needs. Every parent says they will always put their child first, but saying it and doing it are two different things. People get divorced for a reason. They don't just wake up one day and say "You know what, I think I will get a divorce today." There is a history that precipitates the divorce and this anger and hurt almost always influences how the divorced parents communicate with each other. Many times this impacts their children becaue of the arguing, power struggles, and pulling that goes on between the parents. Let your children have the freedom to have a relationship with both their mom and dad without threat of repercussion. Even if their other parent doesn't make good decisions, make sure you do. Your children will appreciate it for the rest of their lives.
My parents got divorced a couple of years ago, and to be honest with you I don't think you really can do anything. There is no easy way of saying your father/mother will not be living with you anymore. The people who you love are leaving you life, not for good hopefully, but one of their parents will not be there when needed. There are ways to soften the blow though. I know this sounds horrible but buy them things they want, like its Christmas at least try to make them happy. Let them be with their friends and make play dates so your kids can have fun with their peers, because lets be honest, as a kid I know, there is only so much fun you can have with your parent. But good luck, and I honestly say that from my heart, it is very hard to deal with something like this.
Once again good luck
Helping kids cope with a divorce, should be the #1 priority of parents getting the divorce. Children need to be assured they are not the reason this is happening. Both parties need to communication with their kids in a positive way, allowing them to have a sense that everything and everyone will be alright. Children need the love and nurturing from both sides of the family, helping them become healthy individuals.
A Divorce can become very intense when one parent wants the divorce and the other doesn't, which is usually the way. Resentment sets in, then the nasty begins, once the harsh words are said you can't take 'em back. Always use the 'motto' "If you don't have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself". Never speak negative or harsh of the other parent, your children will only resent you for it. They will learn the true nature of both parents as they have life experiences of their own.
Some married couples will remain together because of the kids, but I never did agree on this one. I actually believe this can do more harm than good, especially if both parties cannot provide a positive upbringing to the children.
My granddaughters parents are going through a divorce. I think giving them lots of love and making them feel secure helps. Try not to put them in the middle of the battle. The parents should try to get along in front of the child, so the child doesnt blame his or her self. Listen to the child about how they are feeling. Talking helps so much.
Consider the child first when making any changes at all and make sure the child is envolved in this. Have a support system in place such as family, friends and professionals.
Love heals all wounds in time.
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