probably because parents don't command their respect. as much as i am all about reasoning with my daughter and talking to her calmly when she is upset, i also don't let her walk all over me...i try not to let her get whatever she asks for...whenever she asks for it. sometimes it's okay to say no, and i think many parents have a hard time with it...a lot of times it's the mom...i know for me, i have a hard time still saying no, but i know that i have to set some boundaries or she will grow up to be a B-R-A-T. another problem with kids is that many of them don't get shown ANY attention by the parents, so they are acting out just to receive some sort of attention...even if it's bad.
Because a lot of parents are not worth respect anymore. And I seriously mean that from the bottom of my heart. Although I'm of age to parent myself, I've seen people twice my age behave irrationally and imaturely. A lot of politicians twice my age are irresponsible with money, so are many senior citizens who blow their old age welfare checks on lotto tickets. These old farts are literally gambling away my future while I work my butt off. Why should I respect my elders when they're not deserving of respect? You think kids don't catch onto this as well? If you want kids to respect you, you need to behave like an adult and not try to be their friend. You also need to know when to say "no" and when to say "yes".
It depends. Parents should teach them how to behave and respect the elders. They should show their respect on their kids as well as their requests. They should behave as their kids' ROLE MODEL. When they miss to do so only this problem arises.
I'd say it's a mix of parenting styles, the media and society. Our parenting styles over the years have become so lax that the children basically run the show. It's as if we'd hurt their little self-esteems if we redirected them or told them they were doing something wrong. And even if we do tell them what they are doing wrong, we don't take the time to show them what is right.
The media and society have their parts as well. Look at all of the TV shows directed at kids. Take a look at the show iCarly (a show I do find funny but it helps my point). There are no parental role models for Carly (her dad is in the service, leaving her in the care of her older, laid back brother). She pretty much does what she wants, when she wants. She and her friends aren't exactly respectful of the other adults in the show, like their teachers or neighbors, making those adults out to be just plain goofy. The other parents that do appear are so off-the-wall and it is clear that the kids have no respect for them. Kids in real life follow these shows and mimic what they see.
That's just an example from a younger kid's show. There are definitely shows directed at older children which show disrespect to parents, and society eats that up, promoting such disrespect.
It takes time and patience, but respect can be taught to our children again. We just have to get everyone on board..
The Practical Mommy, Ido agree with you. It seems that changes around us are the same in all different societies.
I grew up on shows like Family Affair, The Brady Bunch, & Medical Center. 2day too many adult situations r on TV. Both parents must work meaning mediocre parenting. Society dictates how rear & chastise your child. Kids turn to social media f
Respect is a touchy issue in some parent-child relationships. Parents want to be respected, and so do kids. Some facets of the relationship may not be mutually respectful and yet, parents are the leaders. Taking a look at where the breakdown of... read more
Girls are the worst. But in general, this is pure narcissism that starts when children stop thinking (sometime between the ages of 6 and 15) and start believing the nonsense they see on TV and the internet. The worst part is they are not growing out of it. Many young people in their 20s (and in some cases 30s) are choosing to exist in perpetual adolescence. Some would prefer to leech off their parents instead of working at a simple job that television has taught them to despise. Those who do get married and have children will get divorced after a few years and make their parents raise the kids while they go back to school or go back to being a kid. This is the artist generation. They want to perform or create. They want to be noticed. And like most artists I have met, they are usually unintelligent bores who think the world revolves around them. They are so maddeningly desperate and hypocritical that, given a taste of power or money, they will sell out and be the worst villains imaginable. We are a visual culture, not a thinking culture. Television, pop culture, and advertising have all embraced America's youth as its target audience. If someone were to use television and the internet as their only source of information, that person would think that no one existed over the age of 30. The people who did attain such a Methusalaic age would all be thought to be stupid and boring. I would do your kids a favor and stop telling them they are special.
Respect has to be taught. This is not being done by those who don't get it.
Society is sending the wrong messages. Kids are taught to do what they want, be self absorbed, independent, etc. So, when they act all this out, the results are not in the best interest of all, but the self.
Respect has to do with considering the needs of others, over your own, even if momentarily, or temporarily. If it's everything, always about the "me", it will result in no respect for others.
aka-dj, you are right, in India, we call the inculcation of good values as planting sanskars( sanskars can be compared to moral values). Once such plantation is done by us through our own conduct, kids develop on their own as very decent ones.
I would only add one comment. Respect must be taught, as you said. However, respect must be earned. So the parent who teaches his children not to steal, should not brag how he cheated on his income tax. Children will see through a facade rather soon.
That is a pretty broad question. I'm sure not all kids do not respect parents. Having said that, parents need to act like parents, set reasonable boundaries and rules and also conduct themselves in a manner deserving respect.
Do not allow them to talk back or cop an attitude. When my girls were home, we always listened to them and would make reasonable decisions about what they wanted or needed. We did not yell or hit. If there was any attitude, I told very nicely, I don't talk to you like that, I never act like that with you--why would you do that?
Kids need to be called on their disrespect and asked why--why would you act like that? Being called on it makes them think about it.
I have actually written about the three different parenting styles. Parents who are not respected fall under permissive the most. However, authoritative has become more of a pushover parent. It would seem the only parenting style to gain respect, and hatred, is the authoritarian.
Go to google and type in the parenting styles. You will find more detailed research than I could tell you in this little space.
Parents are trying too hard to become their kids friends and not try to steer them in the right direction. Parents also need to know a bit about how children develop in the three arenas such as emotional, mental and physical areas. When we have children we are preparing them for when the go out on their own and that should be in the forefront of all child rearing. They will not always do as you say but you can be assured they will do as you do and imitate others. That is how we all learn.
I don't command respect from my children, rather I model good behavior and let them see how I respect other people, their feelings and material things. I prefer that they have respect for me because of my actions than because I demand it. Having them obey me because I say so is not what I am striving for, instead, I want them to understand why we act in a certain way.
Monisajda, your outlook is proper. I have also observed that how we act and behave leaves a great impact upon the psyche of kids than what
We force on them. Up to 6 years- love kids, up to 16 years-scold if need be after 16-treat them as friends.
I agree whole heartedly Monisajda. I have noticed my children mirror my behaviour whether it's good or bad, so I make a conscious decision (most of the time) to be the best version of myself so I can model this for my children.
Aaahhhh..........but some kids do.............
Let us not blame the young, because some of us fail to be parents.
If your question was about parenting......I would reply in more depth. It is the cowards way out to blame kids for being kids. It is time for the adults to stand up and out.
I have seen amazing parents with kids who don't listen. When it comes to this question people look in two direction..parents..kids you miss the middle ground, friends, tv, and most importantly kids see other kids miss behave and get away way with it
Kids don't respect their parents anymore, because parents don't set rules and punishments early. They just let them do as they please and not hold through with punishments even if they do set them.
You can only give what you have. How many parents today show respect? Do they respect themselves? You have to be respectful for you to enforce respect on your kids. Most parents today live for their children and these children can't go wrong no matter what? Its very easy to see kids these days tell their parents to shut up or even hit them and they just turn the other eye and begin to plead with the child, professing love....Let's call a spade a spade, I believe there's got to be a time when parents put down their feet to enforce what is right. This is not the picture today, kids rule.....I am not against showing love for kids but I believe my child should be an enviable example in the society morally, educationally and socially. Anything short of this questions my moral standing as a parent.
Because someone somewhere eluded to the fact that parental correction was equivalent to parental abuse and then proceeded to tell that child that they could call 911 and report a parent for not paying them an allowance!
Next someone decided that taking God out of everything was the right thing to do.
Then, society said it was ok for children to raise themselves. Children listen to children, entertainers, video games, etc before they can hear what their parent(s) are saying to them. They don't respect their parents, teachers, police officers nor any figure of authority, they honestly believe they know everything, when most of them don't even know how to count money. In order for situations with children to change and get better, parents have to turn it around and go back to the old school line of thinking and operating.
There's nothing wrong with a little bit of "children should be seen and not heard."
This is quite a bit longer than just a one sentence answer. It is our faults as a whole in my opinion though. Parents for not setting rules and being consistent, making too many excuses, etc.
Community for looking the other way or thinking that the parents will do something about it.
Society for allowing so much trash on tv, news, adverts etc.
We are becoming like Rome and our society is crumbling. Entertainment pays more than academics. A person makes more playing a game than solving the answers that will save how many people from cancer, allow x amount of trash to be converted into something - saving y acres of forest etc etc etc.
I am not saying everyone in the world, I am being general. It doesn't seem like ethics, maturity, and character are being taught to many of the children anymore.
SOME parents these days are undeserving of respect bacause of their actions, an old neighbour of mine was a heroin addict and dealer, her son was so disrespectful aged 12... how can you respect a mother who loves heroin more than her own child?
SOME parents do not respect their children and therefore cannot expect respect. My neighbour regularly can be heard throughout my street yelling at her 11 year old son that he is a c*** and to f*** off outside. She leaves the street to bring up her boy, I often lean out of my window to ask him to stop kicking his ball against my wall when my son is sleeping and often tell him that vandalism is an offence when he is ripping the courtyard fence to pieces... He responds to being spoken to with manners. I even stopped in the street to ask what football team he supports and chatted for a while with him about the matches on tv... I have no more issues with him, he leaves me alone... Because I earned his respect.
I would say because a lot of parents are not good at making the child respect them. If you are good at child rearing and nurturing but stern when you need to be, then your kids will respect you. It's about earning respect, not magically being bestowed with it once that creature leaves your vagina.
In most cases, it's because the parents haven't earned their respect. Respect is not owed to parents or demanded, they have to earn it. If they are inconsistent, hypocritical/don't practice what they preach, and/or don't keep their word they will not earn respect. Would you respect friends who treat you that way?
Well, I believe the reason is that negative influences are projected more and more these days. Music, TV, movies, etc. all produce the perfect dream of having sex, partying late, getting drunk, going to prison, etc. Parents today are somewhat reinforcing this with their lousy parenting skills which were most likely founded off of bad decisions earlier in their lives. Parents are too busy trying to be friends, not actually loving teachers and guardians.
-The respectful yellow, Pikachusif
This is an interesting question, and part of the answer lies with the parents. Some parent need two sources of employment to survive, the children are left to take care of themselves or the are left at a daycare, nursery or finally with the television. All of the mention sources are good to a degree. However, parent must have input in their child up bringing. You can not and must not leave he upbringing to others. They may not have the same values as you, by the time you arrive home, prepare dinner and relax awhile it's time for bed. You are exhausted, but the child has access to a television or computer where they can learn anything. I must say the parent play a major role as to whether the child is respectful or not.
It really has to start with the parents. Everyone is way to easy on their kids these days for a variety of reasons. I have gone into more detail here if you are interested:
http://okaygrace.hubpages.com/hub/How-C … ble-Adults
Now-a-days, almost all the parents think that the respect they expect from their kids are missing. Kids do not listen to their parents and do whatever they want. They even do not realize that their parents always worry for them whenever they are late to reach home or at times when they are unwell. In fact we need to coach our children before sending them to school to learn the way of respecting their parents, elders, kindness, obedience, having a sense of humor and even patriotism.
The advance technology, modern style of living and the atmospheric change has adversely affected the family values and sense of humor. of our kids.
Because they are not taught to...BY their parents...
You had a lot of answers, so not sure if someone already brought up Socrates -- this one always comes to mind when I hear people (or myself) saying, "Kids these days.."
“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”
Kids don't respect there parents often or sometimes ( somewhere in western countries like US) for children are tolerated and had given too much freedom to them so the results, they become spoiled brats. but in eastern countries like in my country Philippines, some children are very polite with there parents for they have the proper guidance and attention. Children are also battered whenever they had done wrong but in some western countries whenever children get's provoke by there parents the call 911.
Somewhat culture have the factor on it
As most will say its bad parenting. But, when you stop and think about it, its society as a whole. For one, technology has played a big role on how we entertain now. Kids are made to entertain themselves with what they got. Also, media teaches so many bad habits to parents and children. Sending them the wrong.g message on how things should be. For two, society has taken away the idea of treating people the way they should be treated. TV has changed the ideals on so many levels. How are children to know how to act. When not only parents but society is summing down the idea of respect. For three, children are no longer taught punishment for your actions. I am no way saying abuse your children. But, its the matter of respect your elders. A lady once told me " we weren't beat by any means. But when we misbehaved we knew what was coming. We acted on our best behavior, not because we knew we would get into trouble. We did it because we were taught that it was how things were. ".
Some kids do respect their parents, and if watch how some parents talk to their kids you see why. My sister has two children she scorns one. The tone of voice. you get what you give.
Maybe the parents are not worth respect.These days parents do not treat their children in a nice way that's why they do not respect their parents.Parents can also insult their children and beat them when they are stressed that's why children end up not respecting their parents and,insulting them and arguing with them.
Most parents are less educated or don't care about their children also respect works both ways.
Parents rights have been taken away. We are no longer allowed to punish our children when they miss behave. A spanking equals physical abuse, Yelling equals verbal abuse putting into time out equals emotional abuse or child neglect.
I endured all of these when I was a kid and I turned out perfectly fine.
Children today are taught that its wrong to be spanked or yelled at and that time outs are a bad thing. They grow up pretty much knowing that they can do what they want and get away with it. If they kick and yell and scream in a grocery store they know that its not going to make them look bad its going to make you the parent look bad cause 1.) You cant control your child 2.) If you try to make them stop then your not a fit parent.
Given our kids too many rights and taken ours away... was a bad move I'm guessing there's more crime today then there was while I was growing up.
That's true some places. I live in Texas where parents spank in the middle of the grocery store all the time. It's normal here. I holler on a rare occasion to 'wake them up' and see no problem with it. Time outs worked for me when they were tots.
So what do you do? Do you NOT do any of those things (spanking, time outs) because people say it's bad? Thus following rules without really understanding what they're about, exactly the way you're learning your children to deal with rules when you AR
The are now moving in western culture so they are not respecting matter for them who are made a mind to live life western bases. So now we can't help it because the generation is search much far to get new living style. We are now just try to cooperate them for career build but can't change the culture because a minor thing is build bases on culture. They are not getting good qualification from the schools ans collages there are also trying to move in western mode for increase strong communication to better communicate. Let's it be...because the ahead generation never back again because they learn how to grow in run time.
What do you mean by respect ? Is it agreeing to whatever you ask them to do, or is it greeting you every time they meet you, or is it dealing with you in a very calm and polite manner, or not to speak with a loud voice, or not to burst in anger before you, or to followna regular routine as told by you, or is it inculcating all kinds of manners as decided by you or not to I'll treat you and so on. Now if you assume that being an elder, you own some kind of right to deserve respect, you must alter this perception at once because both elder as well as younger deserve it in equal measure. So ask yourself if you reciprocate respect, if not, you have to change yourself and begin to inculcate this habit and this way you will receive respect. There is other option , you should not aspire for respect at all. You would see that kids will natually start respecting you. Also, just think it over, if you have your parents with you or if you interact with them before your kids, do you show respect to them, do you treat them well, do you look after them well ? If your answer is in yes, I would say that your kids will learn a great deal from you and return it to you without having asked for it, giving respect to the people will come naturally to them. If you think that it is your right to shout at them, then be sure of it that you can not gain respect because by instilling fear into the kid's mind, you will create an aversion in his/her mind. On the other hand, if you deem them as your friends and treat them with respect, you will definitely earn respect. Also, if you monitor them minutely and make it a habit to rebuke them at the slightest mistake, such kind of attitude will fill up hatred for you in their mind. So, when we search about the answers of disrespect being exhibited by kids, these are already available in our mind and only we have to recall them. It has also been observed that often parents look upon the kids in contempt and assume them as immature, ignorant and inexperienced. Though it is a fact that they are so, but we have to be extra cautious to express it in clear words, rather we must show it in a subtle manner and with all kindness and shrewdness. Since kids' minds are raw, any bitter or harsh word will make them more haughty and evasive. So we should be on our guard in this regard. To sum up, I would say that just assume your kids as the same human beings like you and this kind of perception will surely shower all respect on you that you expect.
This is on the parents. My children show me respect, they know I am the parent. I do not try to be their friend because my place is to teach them, to love them, to be there for them. If they do something wrong they have a consequence, because I am their parent and it is my job to teach them cause and effect.
The children that do not respect their parents are the children who's parents either try to be their friend, or try to all the sudden try to jump into parenting when they haven't been one for quite some time.
In my opinion that happens because their parents do not teach them what respect is and who are the ones running the home, (the parents). Lack of supervision and too much freedom with no rules are not part of the home dynamic.
It is quite disheartening to learn that today kids don't respect their parents. I personally believe that the parents have every right to be respected. Yes, there are times when there can be a clash of thoughts, but I am sure that such issues are a part of every family and they can be resolved via having a face to face discussion.
I don't think it's actually new. We've been saying "kids are not what they used to be" for centuries! Socrates even said "Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers."
Because in today fast running life, the kids find other priorities rather that ones for respecting and listening their parents. we life in more material world, where honesty and kindness are less important. Every kid thinks that is grown enough to do its own life and life like they like. Moreover, with fast speeding information around, there are mistakes growing in people minds, teaching their own kind less valuable things, and forget about more valuable things like conversations, reading books, smile, going to school...
Parents give them education, give the knowledge, give rights to this children and they expect that they won't fight for what they think is right?
Personally I think it has become more of a self defense when kids answer back because they know that they're parents aren't always right. I dunno why is that. Blame society. Hahahaha joke
It is a quite a serious situation and seems to be universal too. I think each respondent here has given a good thought to the issue. While quite a few of the answers here make the parents responsible for the phenomenon, I think it is the environment also which needs to be examined - such as TV programs which the kids are watching and the interruption of relatives ( in the joint family).
I know of a TV program which has influenced many children adversely and kids talk to their mother in a very insulting manner.
With regards to other interfering relatives, their affection and interference prevents the parents from disciplining their children.
To my knowledge, what we inherit from our Parents, Socializing and current media, we simply inject within ourselves. We don't know if its right or not at that point (when we are kids). But we still do to our parents and we carry forward that behavior sub-consciously. When we see our kids not listening to us, we might have to see the surroundings, our behaviors in front of the kid, their friends circle or socializing circle etc. When the information from the circle gets shared or spread, knowingly or unknowingly (consciously or sub-consciously) they inject the information within themselves. If the information is all good in listening to your parents or obeying them, they do follow the same at home. If it's otherwise, then they too don't listen to us.
That's what happens in most of the cases.
However, there could be some kids, who get this behavior specifically through their gene. If parents haven't followed or respected their elders in their past, it gets carried as-is. You might have not observed yourselves in your young age (as a kid). But when you see your kid doing the same, though you won't be surprised that he/she is like that. But you would realize, what have you done to your parents.
Parents either try to be strict or work hard to support and spend little time with their children. Combined with peer pressure, the two/three reasons make room for disrespect
I guess it's because kids are overly protected by laws. Look at how disciplined our parents were during their youth. Now, even a single whip to children disobeying or misbehaving is somewhat a very big issue, thereby causing the kids of today to become very unsentimental. Aside from this, I believe that it is also because of the changes of times. For instance, the high demand for them to engage in economic activities to keep the family financially afloat left them to have slimmer contacts with their kids. Or, probably because the parents of today are not showing respect to each other and to their kids. Or, most parents do not demand respect at all!
in my perspective because parents don't respond to their kids the way their kids expect them to in a certain way. kids have to know that their parents love them and that has to be told at appropriate times. unlike in american families in nepalese family parents hardly say that they love their kids not that they don't but it is important that kids hear it. because all that parents do is yell at their mistakes and wrong deeds and never appreciate what they are good at. so kids end up hating their parents untill when their parents grow old and kids grow up to be a parents him\herself when they realize what parents have to go through while parenting.
Political correctness, the increasing sensitivity of our society. Not being able to discipline your kids without the threat of going to jail for it. High divorce rates. Social media/Internet influence on kids at an early age. Many factors really.
Parents are to lenient these days, really. I think every one is softening up a bit to much these days.
I totally disagree with what you say. I think kids don't know how to express their feelings because they are kids or may be the parents are blind to see the respect of kids towards them.
We can't blame kids, Parents are responsible for the kids behavior and parents should guide their children to better things,i have seen very less kids being disrespectful to their parents which is a good thing.
It is not that kids do not respect parents. It is what that had been imparted when they were born. If you do not teach your kids the right moral then he / she will behave disrespectful while if you did the right method, you will earn the respect.
We believe it is both ways. You need to respect your kids in order for them to respect you. So, start young and teach the right moral of life.
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