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jump to last post 1-9 of 9 discussions (16 posts)

Do you think it is wrong to not like your children?

  1. alvairs profile image63
    alvairsposted 5 years ago

    Do you think it is wrong to not like your children?

    What are the reason that cause a dislike for your children?

  2. greatparenting profile image60
    greatparentingposted 5 years ago

    If you "dislike" your children you need to examine this seriously as it's a significant problem. It means that you have likely not communicated carefully enough to your children your views of the right way to behave or your set of values. It's never to late to improve the communication between you and your children. Don't wait. Start today to have some real conversation with them about what you think matters most in life. Begin by expressing your concerns and then listen carefully to the response your child offers. Don't let this wait another day.

    Is it wrong to dislike your kids was your question. Answer: yes.

    1. alvairs profile image63
      alvairsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I was listening to the Ricky Lake show and some mothers made the statement of not liking their children, because she was frustrated with their behavior.

  3. duffsmom profile image60
    duffsmomposted 5 years ago

    Wrong?  It certainly is not ideal but sometimes, as human beings, it is hard to control every emotion we feel.  I would imagine a parent that does not like their child would have to work extra hard to be fair to that child.  And maybe try and find out specifically what it is you don't like about the child and see if you can change those feelings.

    1. alvairs profile image63
      alvairsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Absolutely, i agree how can a parent not like their child. It is o.k. to not like their behavior. Thanks for your comment.

  4. fpherj48 profile image77
    fpherj48posted 5 years ago

    No.....In my opinion, it's totally impossible to dislike your children!!   This can't possibly be a serious question ....and I sure the hell hope it's not from a PARENT!!
    If it is..........Get a GRIP, Dad!!

    1. alvairs profile image63
      alvairsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      It seem as though you have some issues and maybe looking for somebody to dump on, trust me i will not go there with you. This was discussed on the Ricky Lake show today, that is why i asked the question here to get opinions, not sarcasm.

    2. fpherj48 profile image77
      fpherj48posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Trust ME, I WILL go there with you. If you MEANT a child's "BEHAVIOR," not the CHILD, him/herself, your question is misleading. MAJOR OMISSION, Sir, leaving you to OPINIONS of those who find the question LUDICROUS. "Issues," are all yours. Oops!

    3. alvairs profile image63
      alvairsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your comment

  5. beadreamer247 profile image71
    beadreamer247posted 5 years ago

    I also read your response below....that you heard some parents talking about not liking their children's behavior. Off, course you can dislike your children's behavior - absolutely. This does not mean you don't like your child. You can like someone and still dislike certain behaviors. Is that what you are trying to say?
    And parents have moments, when they have hair-wire moments with their kids and they might say inappropriate not liking their kids - and kids do the same.
    So, I'd be careful about what you mean and explain a bit more.
    But there are parents who lost connection with their children - then something is seriously wrong......and they should get help.
    I cannot imagine a parent ever hating their child, no matter what the child did.....which again, does not mean, that you approve every behavior and agree with it.

    1. alvairs profile image63
      alvairsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Yes that is what i was trying to get across, a parent can dislike what a child does and may say, but still have the love for the child. This question was brought up because it was discussed on the Ricky Lake show on Wednesday

  6. WritingPrompts profile image73
    WritingPromptsposted 5 years ago

    I remember my mom telling me she loved me but didn't like me.  (What provoked this comment was that I wanted to stay home from school because I had stomach cramps so bad I couldn't stand up straight.)

    I think that we can dislike our children's behavior and that may not be the same as disliking them as people. I'm guessing most parents have some expectations for their kids - they want them to be smart, or athletic, or pretty, or popular, or .... something.  So when the kids turn out different, or worse to be the opposite of what the parent was hoping for then they may not "like" them very much.

    If a parent can let go of those expectations and let the child be who he/she is and appreciate them as an individual then it might not be so hard to "like" your kids. 

    On the other hand, we all have values about what makes a person good/bad and if a kid is really going off in a direction that you feel is "bad" it may be hard to like them - even if you still care and "love" them at the same time.

  7. gmwilliams profile image86
    gmwilliamsposted 2 years ago

    Of course, it is wrong for parents not to like their children.  It is not only wrong but immature, even egregious not to like your children.  Evolved, enlightened, & mature parents would not let such a thought enter their minds.  They love their children, viewing them as individuals in their own light.  They also respect their children's unique personalities & beliefs, not to mention encourage & nurture their individual talents.  They believe in treating their children as persons with the utmost respect.

    However, the majority of parents can't be classified as evolved, enlightened, & mature.  One can say that typical parents have prejudices, likes, & dislikes, even when it comes to their own children. That is the unmentionable, even taboo part of human nature like parental favoritism.  Even though it is unmentionable & so hush-hush, it is quite commonplace in family whether parents wish to acknowledge it or not.

    If parents didn't dislike/hate their children, please explain the phenomenon of parental favoritism which one child is treated more preferentially while another child in the same family is treated quite disparately, even scapegoated as the odd child out.  Furthermore if parents didn't dislike/hate their children, what is the opposite phenomena of the golden child & the black sheep of the family.  Yes, parents have children whom they INNATELY LIKE/LOVE MORE than others; conversely, parents have children whom they INNATELY DISLIKE/HATE MORE than others.  If such wasn't the case, for similar infractions/ offenses, why is one child treated with kid gloves while another is chastised, even punished.

    Parents have their favorite & disfavored child.  There are many reasons for this: children who are favored usually are similar to the parents in some ways-be it personality, outlook, & mindset.  Maybe the liked child is manageable in the parents' eyes.  Conversely, the disliked child is different, even opposite to the parents whether it is personality, outlook, philosophy, & interests.  Maybe the disliked child is deemed a threat to the parental order.  Perhaps, the child has a talent which isn't present in the rest of the family.  There are various reasons why parents DISLIKE their children.  This phenomenon is commonplace-believe it or not.

  8. Kiss andTales profile image80
    Kiss andTalesposted 2 years ago

    To answer this question , is this possible , yes .it is written that humans could even possibly hate their children.
    Interesting why, Proverbs 13:24, says why this is possible.
    How many times do we read and hear of the elderly being abused and mistreated by the children they raised.
    How many times do we read or hear about children killing perants. or other authorities who are old enough to be a their perants ,  it starts in the home , their foundation of respect and attitudes toward other humans comes from the base station of the childs upbringing.
    We must admit some perants have not set the example and have come to despise their own work.

  9. roselinsojan profile image52
    roselinsojanposted 2 years ago

    nobody dislike their own children.sometimes parents correct their children when they go wrong.

    1. Kiss andTales profile image80
      Kiss andTalesposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Nobody normally should dislike their children .but lets be truthful , people do. Just like children may express not liking their parent's freely, does not mean that it is impossible for parents to feel the same.