hi Veronica,i'm a single mim with two kids. i've been with my boyfriend for 3 mo

  1. profile image52
    Miss Dodooposted 13 years ago

    hi Veronica,i'm a single mim with two kids. i've been with my boyfriend for 3 months but we've...

    friends for 6 yrs. he's asking me have kids with him but doesn't want to get married b'cos he doesn't believe in it. We may get engaged but only after we have kids. i was let down by my previous partners and all i want is security. he says he isn't them and i have to trust him. i'm so confused.

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  2. Veronica profile image67
    Veronicaposted 13 years ago

    hi Veronica,i'm a single mim with two kids. i've been with my boyfriend for 3 months but we've... friends for 6 yrs. he's asking me have kids with him but doesn't want to get married b'cos he doesn't believe in it. We may get engaged but only after... read more

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  3. profile image52
    Miss Dodooposted 13 years ago

    @ilmdamaily thanks for the advice.  it has really taken me a long time to love myself  and feel confident about myself and my abilities. My problem goes further than security. i'm from a culture where it is frowned upon to have children out of wedlock and i have done that twicw already. in my culture it is preferably to have a failed marriage with kids than not to have married and have kids. my fear is if i go ahead and have more kids without marriage and he walks out , i will feel as if i've failed my family and my kids.
    @Veronica, thanks for the advice. wat he's said has triggered alarm bells in my head. he says the compromise that he's made is being with a person that has kids, b'cos he swore he'd never do that again. he had an ex girlfriend with a child and when they broke up it was messy. me persoanlly i do want marriage and i do love him, but is love enough. i have two kids i have to think about, if i'm going to put them in an environment where there are no guarantee's.

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