Longest Amount of Time You Have Been Single

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   By His Wayposted 12 years ago

   In your adult life, what was the longest amount of time you were single? 
   
   If you chose to be single at those times - why?
   
   
   
   On average, how long are you single in between relationships?

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      Jynzlyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I like this question...let me see; I marries when I was 20 and stayed in that beautiful yet tempestuously challenging marriage for 18 years till I woke up one day to decide that enough is enough and that I should want my next marriage to be better than the first...the second was very good and it was 10 years because he died...then I stayed single for two years, the third was just a live-in but he died too after three years being together...then I was two years single again and now I am married.
      
      Okay...your question actually made me introspect...I just realized that the longest time that I am single is two years and this was because I was still grieving for my lost; once I get back to life then I have someone new again to love and to love me enough for us to decide to get married.
      I am just a born lover and lovable...take it or leave it.

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         By His Wayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         lol   good enough

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   SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years ago

   longest? a month or so...
   
   why?....single in between divorces
   
   average time? - a week...too many divorces and i'm not done yet...there's another chapter or 2 missing i figure...i think i luv being in luv

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      Disturbiaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      LOL, too many divorces and you're not done yet?  Are you planning more divorces?  This last one makes 4 for me.  I've actually been married 5 times but my first husband passed away, so he doesn't count as a divorce.

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      By His Wayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I'm in shock, but please don't take offense to that. I'm just curious about this because I'm the extreme opposite.

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      By His Wayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      If you don't mind me asking, do you feel you've grown from each relationship or do you feel you've lost a piece of yourself from each?

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   Cagsilposted 12 years ago

   I am presently on the longest duration without having a significant other. Sometime ago, it's been so long that it doesn't even matter anymore, my relationship ended with my fiancee decided to leave the state without me and with someone else.
   
   That was about, I think, sometime in 2005.

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      Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry to hear that Cags. So happy to see you.
      
      I have been single many times the last time was two years.

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         Cagsilposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Nice to see you also Cardisa and it's always nice to be seen.

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      By His Wayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Well you can relate then.   Sorry about that situation. I guess the only consolation is that it happened then and not later with more invested.... it's just a horrible way to leave a relationship.

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   psycheskinnerposted 12 years ago

   About 20 years.  Because I prefer being single.

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      By His Wayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Wow...  do you ever have moments of wishing it were different?

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         psycheskinnerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Nope.  There are benefits to being in relationships and having children and so forth.  But not enough to make up for simply not wanting to do those things and not enjoying them.

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            By His Wayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Very true.

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   By His Wayposted 12 years ago

   Tons edited out. Too much info out.
   
   
   Two relationships: one emotional, one "real" relationship
   
   The first one lasted about a year and I didnt even look at another guy with interest for 2 years after this one ended.
   
   The second one was my marriage of 7 years. Together 4 of those. Divorce was 5 years ago and I've stayed single since by choice.
   
   My choices have been heavily influenced by examples of others around me who have jumped from one relationship to another and also because of the reason the marriage ended.
   
   I've recently had a lot of people coming out and asking me about my status and if I'm seeking anyone out. Their reactions are over the top in my opinion, but I'm looking to see if maybe it's my reaction that is abnormal. I have no hang ups. I have no issues. I'm just busy with my priorities.
   
   Because of the recent conversations, I'm starting to worry that maybe I've grown too accustomed to being on my own because as much as I hate to say it...I see another relationship as "work".
   
   So I'm doing a little bit of random research on here.

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      By His Wayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Well that's a freakin novel. lol   Sorry!   I've just had some recent conversations with others that have me thinking.   Thanks for all the replies so far!

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      Jesus was a hippyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      So you're single then?

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   SandyMcCollumposted 12 years ago

   I always went a year or more between, just because it took me a while to get over whoever it was. My sister, on the other hand, cannot stand being single and will do anything to be near a man.

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      By His Wayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      ...and there's a lot of that out there and it honestly just makes me feel bad for them. I've gone down that path of trying to feel complete and satisfied in and through another person, and it's just not possible IMO (forever). I just see that behavior as jumping from one heartache to another.

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         SandyMcCollumposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I completely agree - will YOU tell her, because I've been telling her for years to get to know who she really is before the  next guy, but she doesn't.

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            By His Wayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            lol    I have a little sister who is like this. All I can tell ya is it's not possible to this through to them. They have to learn it themselves. They don't listen! ( To give them some credit...at least they are out there. There has to be a happy medium though somewhere.

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   SandyMcCollumposted 12 years ago

   "My only worry now is that I've possibly grown too accustomed to being on my own that allowing someone in would be just...work."
   
   I've heard that before, and sadly, it does happen. The most frequent love matches are made when the people aren't looking for love any longer. When I decided to quit dating and just hang out, I met who later became my husband. And I didn't want him, he is younger and kept asking me out all the time. I think it was the 8th time I finally said he could come to my house. Now, 25 years later, I'm still glad he was persistent.
   
   But there is a difference between avoiding love and not looking for it. Maybe you are avoiding love?

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      By His Wayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      "I think it was the 8th time I finally said he could come to my house. Now, 25 years later, I'm still glad he was persistent." 
      
      lol  I like that.
      
      
      "But there is a difference between avoiding love and not looking for it. Maybe you are avoiding love?"
      
      
      I don't know. That's what I'm wondering. At first I really just didn't have time. I had two in diapers and working full time odd shifts. I barely kept us together and functinoing, but now they're older and this is coming up and I don't really have the "excuses" anymore. After writing out what I did, I'm thinking that I am avoiding...hm...

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   janesixposted 12 years ago

   About two years now. Because i refuse to date someone who would date a crazy person.

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      By His Wayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      ..   .......   ...   lol    I had to read that a couple times.
      
      
      
      Well.....ok.     

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   JKennyposted 12 years ago

   Five years and counting. I'm in no great rush to jump into a relationship. Basically, I've always maintained the notion that I will know the right time to commit, and also the right person to commit with.

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    HarperDavisposted 12 years ago

    Quite some time, about four years. One relationship ever that was five years. Yes, I'm fairly young. Not in school or anything, but I am in my twenties.
    
    I wouldn't quite say I'm single by choice, but I'm not actively doing anything to change it either. I guess you could say it just is.

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    By His Wayposted 12 years ago

    Well, those sound like good reason to me. I don't think I'm "abnormal" afterall.
    
    
    I agree with these. ^    I'm not actively looking. I don't think people always just fall into your path, but when it's time I think I'll know.

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    Shaddieposted 12 years ago

    Like...21 years.
    
    I was a "late bloomer."

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       By His Wayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Do you mean you were 21 before you dated anyone?  Or 21 years between relationships?

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          Shaddieposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          21 before I started dating, hah.

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             By His Wayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             lol    Well I hadn't thought about someone including their entire life before their first relationship. If that were the case, then my 5-6 year year run aint nuthin.     And no worries on the "late bloomer".  I had a puppy love that involved holding hands twice when I was a teenager but my first real relationship was when I was 20. So, I completely understand.   Who the heck knows what they're doin as a teen anyways...psshhh....

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    Pearldiverposted 12 years ago

    I was taught to always be prepared! 
    
    But.... waiting... waiting... waiting... waiting...
    certainly is not conducive to being prepared, I figure it's more like being stuck on the side of the road with a flat tyre!
    
    So a long time ago, I decided it was always best to carry a spare!

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       By His Wayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       LOL  ....?...are you saying what I think you're saying?

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