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My first born has moved out

  1. Jane@CM profile image61
    Jane@CMposted 8 years ago

    ARGH.  Sniff Sniff.  Really, I haven't cried yet, thought I'd be a bumbling idiot mom at the dorm, but it wasn't that bad.  Her roomy is from Chicago & just as excited as my daughter to see the parents leave --- you guys can go now, we'll set up our room LOL!

    I am SO PROUD OF MYSELF (which is rare).  I achieved one of the goals that I set for being a mom...that my kids would get a college education, unlike me.  So with 46 credits under her belt (from PSEO & AP Classes) she is well on her way! 

    I still have 5 more years to work on the boy-child LOL

    1. Kadmiels profile image55
      Kadmielsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Congrats pretty soon you can rest on the money they are makeing for your retirement smile

    2. profile image0
      \Brenda Scullyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      The tears will flow when you least expect them..... i starting crying once in the supermarket.  Both of my sons left around the same time...... after they had gome i went shopping and kept picking things up and then having to put them back..... sob sob...... didn't cry when i got to the check out though he he

    3. jhdinteriors profile image59
      jhdinteriorsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I just went through the same thing this fall, and I agree that it wasn't quite as bad as I thought it would be.  My daughter loves her roommate, her dorm floor, the sorority she pledged, and everything about her classes and the campus.  That makes it so much easier to know she is happy there. She also calls or texts me every day to tell me something funny or to chat between classes. I swear I talk to her more now than when she was still home!  She just came home for a weekend to visit and rearranged her schedule so she could surprise me a day early.  We had a great time and she was just as excited to get back to school as she was to be home. I say you should pat yourself on the back for having raised a daughter who is as strong away from home as she is at home!  I have a 14-year-old son as well, so we'll see how it goes when my last one leaves the nest!  Goodluck to your daughter and to you!

  2. girly_girl09 profile image78
    girly_girl09posted 8 years ago

    Congratulations! smile It made me smile to read this (from your perspective as mom)

    46 credits already...wow, that will save a hefty amount (time & money!)

  3. Lisa HW profile image77
    Lisa HWposted 8 years ago

    Jane, your thread reminded me of when my own have headed off to college; and it inspired me to write a little Hub about it.  Off to paste from WordPad now.   smile  (It was originally a reply to your thread, but then I decided it may make a good (or "sort-of-ok" anyway) Hub.

  4. missalyssa profile image58
    missalyssaposted 8 years ago

    So I'm a daughter who just graduated from college. And by the time I had graduated after moving away for school, my mom and I were best friends. I've never been closer to her! We talk about everything and our relationship is amazing.
    And - believe it or not - you're daughter misses you as much as you miss her. She's excited, but sad. And scared. And looking forward to everything the future holds! I have a feeling that this will bring the two of you closer! smile

  5. imadork profile image82
    imadorkposted 8 years ago

    Good for her -- she will soon realize that adult life sucks and childhood was not so bad.

    1. missalyssa profile image58
      missalyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I'm sending you good ju ju imadork. I know things must suck for you right now (seeing as your wife took your dogs) but positivity in the universe works wonders!

      1. imadork profile image82
        imadorkposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        The universe is full of emptiness with the occasional celestial object. It is hard to find the star in so much emptiness.

        1. missalyssa profile image58
          missalyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

          It's only hard if you're not looking

          1. imadork profile image82
            imadorkposted 8 years agoin reply to this

            Stars are light years between each other.  You can't blame me for missing a few.

            1. missalyssa profile image58
              missalyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

              If someone took my dogs, I would have trouble seeing beyond that as well. I'm just saying that you know the stars are there, you know you will see them again, and you should try to remember that in the times that really suck

    2. profile image0
      \Brenda Scullyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      do you wish you were a child all over again.  Did you have dogs when you were a child also

      1. imadork profile image82
        imadorkposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Are you the psycho-babble lady?

  6. lorlie6 profile image83
    lorlie6posted 8 years ago

    Jane, I understand completely.  I was a blubbering mess for about a year after my nest emptied, only to find that he's moving back-temporarily, I hope!
    It sounds like you handled the 'go away, mom' vibes quite well, be proud of yourself.

  7. Dame Scribe profile image60
    Dame Scribeposted 8 years ago

    I can barely handle a weekend or week away from my kids. I cried on 1st day of school with each one and when my older two moved out n still have 2 more to go but will start blubbering at the thought but I know, it's part of life and something we must go through. smile pride and tears, we love and adore our children.

  8. Song-Bird profile image82
    Song-Birdposted 8 years ago

    I know what you are going through.  My second daughter just left this Fall.  We do talk all of the time on the phone and on facebook.  My relationship with both of my daughters couldn't be better though.  It definitely is on a whole different level now and it is so great to see them grow and mature.  I too have a 14 year old son left at home..I think time can slow down a little bit now smile

  9. profile image0
    Ghost32posted 8 years ago

    When I, as a first born, moved out--it was with a note left on my bunkhouse pillow at the ranch stating,

    "Don't bother to call the cops.  I'll get a lawyer if you do."

    I was 18, owned my own car free and clear, and ran like a thief in the night (why is a Hub, maybe, too long for a forum post).
    It took me until my father's passing some 46 years later to balance things out with him over that (runaway) issue despite the fact that--as I learned eventually--he had done exactly the same thing at exactly the same age to his OWN father. 

    All I'm saying is, sounds like you're still on great terms with YOUR moved-out offspring so...good for you!big_smile

  10. habee profile image96
    habeeposted 8 years ago

    I cried like a baby when my first one moved out. And when the second one moved out. And DEFINITELY when the last one left. But they soon starting have my grandchildren, which is awesome!

  11. fishtiger58 profile image78
    fishtiger58posted 8 years ago

    I am not looking forward to my sons leaving. I'm not ready to say goodbye yet. We all leave our parents its what we do but it doesn't make it any easier when your kids leave. I cry just thinking about it.

    1. Lisa HW profile image77
      Lisa HWposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I don't know how old your sons are, but if you're close to them it really isn't "goodbye" at all.  Not sleeping under the same roof doesn't do a thing to that underlying bond.  By the time it happens it seems right enough for them, and they're usually happy about it, so you're pretty ok with it (after that brief period of getting used to it).  They grow.  You grow.  Your relationship grows.  (Besides, these days with the cost of living being what it is a lot kids of come and go a time or two in those first few years after graduation, so the process of "completely and permanently moving out" can be gradual.)  Another thought is that if your kids are ten or fifteen nobody's really ready, but once they're at "the right age" somehow you're just happy to see that they're happy; and that makes the "getting-used-to" thing easier.

  12. alekhouse profile image86
    alekhouseposted 8 years ago

    My girls left home early. They grew up during the "hippy" era and rebelled against all institutions, including school. They skipped college and went directly to life. Fortunately, they acquired a little sense along the way and both went back and got college degrees.

    Their leaving wasn't easy, wasn't planned, and was very anxiety provoking. I thank God every day they both turned out well.

  13. Jane@CM profile image61
    Jane@CMposted 8 years ago

    It is hard to let them go, I agree with you all. I didn't think I'd see her much, but she comes home much more than I anticipated.  Loves school, her room mate & new friends.  It makes it so much easier knowing she is happy!