Do you believe in "Ferberizing" babies? Or do you support another method?

Jump to Last Post 1-7 of 7 discussions (7 posts)
  1. Wendy Brady profile image57
    Wendy Bradyposted 7 years ago

    Do you believe in "Ferberizing" babies?  Or do you support another method?

    "Ferberizing" babies is highly debated and seems to vary on the parents.  Do you believe in having babies learn to self-sooth, or do you prefer that babies are soothed by the parents?  Why do you feel this way and what is your personal experience with this?

  2. BabyStuff profile image58
    BabyStuffposted 7 years ago

    We actually used the Cry-it-out method with our son and it did work within three days. So I guess I would have to say that I am not opposed to it. I believe that each baby should be trained on sleep differently though - whatever works for one baby will not necessarily work for another.

  3. profile image0
    Giselle Maineposted 7 years ago

    I think it depends on the child & on different parenting styles.  My first self-soothed pretty naturally, my second not so much.  So I soothed my second one at night-time so much more, because he seemed to 'need' it.  (I don't like the idea of having the baby be crying if soothing by the parent will stop the crying, but that is just my personal preference).  Although, once he could suck his thumb, that dramatically improved his ability to self-soothe and at that point I became more accepting of trying 'cry-it-out' methods with him. 

    So in conclusion, I'm not really in favor of "Ferberizing" unless I can see evidence that my child is already capable of some self-soothing behavior such as thumb-sucking or clutching a soft toy e.g. during the daytime.  Then I'd feel OK to encourage that self-soothing at night, otherwise not.  But that is just my style.  Every parent is different and every baby is different too.

  4. Lisa HW profile image64
    Lisa HWposted 7 years ago

    I don't believe in "methods" when it comes to babies.  If mothers don't let "the world" butt in and tell them what they should be doing; all it takes to have a baby develop really well is to take good care of the baby, make him feel super-secure and loved by being responsive to him and by the way a mother holds and talks to her baby.  Talking to him, singing to him, making him laugh, and making eye contact are all part of nurturing too. 

    When babies feel super-secure and loved, that lays the foundation (even at the "brain-chemical" level) for his developing well and being able to learn new things as he continues to develop.  Brain connections are forming, and if parents miss that "boat" the child suffers for it.

    When babies develop well they DO learn to self soothe eventually.  My first-hand experience was with my own three kids.  I've had a lot of other experience with babies and toddlers too, though.  Most normal mothers have common sense and a maternal instinct.  They should use both, instead of looking to outsiders with a book to sell, or a willingness to turn someone else's baby into an experiment, for parenting "methods".  (Once children get past preschool age things can get a little trickier sometimes, but babies all pretty much "work" the same way.)

  5. duffsmom profile image60
    duffsmomposted 7 years ago

    I totally disagree with it.  Think of it this way, a child communicates by crying, whether sad, happy, hungry, whatever.  We are not teaching them self-soothing, we are teaching them that their cries are not important--that they cry and we do not respond.

    How many times have we cried as adults, just wanting someone to hold us and soothe us.  But to ignore a baby's cries...no I didn't with my kids, or my grandkids.

    AND HOORAY Lisa HW--You said it very well.

  6. outlawsphinx profile image61
    outlawsphinxposted 7 years ago

    My son was a fantastic baby. Weighed in at almost 10 lbs and was 22 inches long. He hardly cried, was eating 8 oz by 3 weeks, and was sleeping through the night by 4 weeks. That being said, he was (and continues to be) a self-soother.
    Children will learn to soothe themselves but I think "making" them by letting them cry it out or punishing them for needing mommy or daddy to soothe them will not do anything but cause harm either psychologically or behaviorally. I think it is important for children to learn that on their own at their own pace. It all depends on the child!

  7. justateacher profile image82
    justateacherposted 6 years ago

    I believe every child is different and every parent is different. What might be good for one parent or child, will not be good for another. My two natural daughters were so different as infants (and now as adults) that we tried different things for them. My oldest daughter cried continuously for her first three months of life. Nothing I did seemed to help. I would hold and cuddle her and would let her cry it out. I was a very young mother and was not in great contact with my own mother and had a lousy doctor who told me that she would someday grow out of it. Little did I know that my baby was literally starving because I was not producing enough healthy milk for her. After her having seizures and nearly dying because of starvation, I finally had a wonderful nurse tell me to give up on nursing her and give her formula, and lo and behold, my daughter stopped crying and began putting on weight and except for asthma, had no more troubles in her health.
    My younger daughter, whom I also nursed, thrived and never cried unless she was hungry or needed a diaper change. I was a much older mom and had more experience and more confidence in myself, as well, and I am absolutely positive that, too made a difference.
    So I guess my answer is to do what you feel is best for your child, keep in contact with a good doctor and challenge your doctor when you have questions. You will know - and your child will know - what is best.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)