When someone tells a lie about me and passes it around to others and others believe it....that I find difficult to forgive and let go. It usually takes me a while, maybe even a few years, but let go I do.
There's no point in holding on to the annoyance and the hurt.
If I have the chance to talk to others about what they believe, then I do. However sometimes it is not possible and so I have to let go, in silence.
A couple of years ago one such lie was circulated about me, with the result that a particular family member refused to share some good news and I was left out of the circle.
That exclusion involved some very dear people and the shock I felt set me reeling for months and months. I couldn't understand their lack of loyalty or need for lies and slander.
Eventually I got the chance to confront them and told them very cldearly if that happened again, if I had to suffer like that, I would leave the family. It hasn't happened since, at least i presume it hasn't.
The incident created a lack of trust and so i found it difficult to let go, but I have allowed the hurt to disappear and the trust to return. Things are better, but you never know what's around the corner... Thanks for the question.
when someone kills/do something bad to someone dearest to me, i guess it applies to everyone ^_^..
Honestly, I do have difficulty not holding a grudge, depending how badly I was done wrong. Sometimes it takes me a few days to forgive them, other times it takes me years. But eventually I do come around to forgiving them.
I find it hard to forgive someone if they are incapable of putting themselves in other people's shoes, and only make decisions based on how it will affect them. Every time I do something important, I try to make sure I think about how exactly is will turn out, and what consequences might come from it.
Someone's knowingly doing something that hurts my one of, or all of, my kids (not necessarily physically - just hurts them in some way). That was when they were babies and young children, and it's still the same today, now that they're grown up.
I wouldn't post the kinds of things I wish for, and imagine about, anyone who has hurt one of my kids. The world has far too many people who are willing to try to forgive some things because someone else has told them it's better to forgive. Baloney!! Too many people just passively accept and forgive some unforgivable things.
In general, I have a really high bar for what constitutes "unforgivable", and it involves someone's knowing that he's hurting someone/something else, and/or intentionally hurting someone/something else. I forgive a whole lot stupidity that causes harm to one person or another.
If someone knowingly and/or intentionally harms someone/something else that's unforgivable. End of story. Sorry they've been damaged to the point of being a monster, but they have and they deserve no forgiveness or breaks any more than they gave a break to their victim.
I thrive on my own ability to be able to view someone who intentionally/knowingly harms someone else as a "dead piece of stone". As far as I'm concerned, forgiving someone like that (especially if someone hurt my kids) is pretty much yet one more betrayal of the victims.
by Leslie A. Shields 8 years ago
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