My mother's lover is stealing from me. What should I do without alienating my mo

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   poeticmentorposted 13 years ago

   My mother's lover is stealing from me. What should I do without alienating my mother who is blinded
   
   I want to confront my mother tonight about the proof of her lover stealing from my luggage. This person has stolen from me in the past and I have forgiven & not forgotten to spite my mother who is torn between her children and this person she has chosen to be with. How should I approach her without breaking into a yelling match or walking away completely?

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2. 61

   ashleyasinglemomposted 13 years ago

   This is a sensitive subject, I do have to admit. To be honest there is no straight answer to this question because the nature of the relationship is unknown to me. The relationship with your mother is important; the right approach sets the tone. I would suggest having an intimate conversation with only you and your mom. Acknowledge her feelings towards her lover and acknowledge your feelings towards the stealing. Do it respectively. She may not agree with you at that time. Remind her that as her child you love her and have the best intentions at heart. Telling her will hopefully allow for her to recognize signs, red flags, and to remind her, what she truly deserves in a partner.
   To add I don’t know where your faith falls in but pray about. I hope your conversation with you mom will go well.

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3. 81

   delaneyworldposted 13 years ago

   Have you spoken to the lover about the stealing?  I think it's important that you confront this person and insist it stops OR you will need to speak to your mom about it.  In the meantime, find a way to secure your valuables - locking luggage, a travel safe, etc - whatever you can do to keep your things safe. 
   
   When speaking with the lover I would make it clear to them that this is a serious issue and the authorities may be alerted should the stealing continue. 
   
   I would talk to your mom as a last resort.  Should you not be able to resolve this - then talk to her.  She should be made aware of the situation - but it might be best to discuss it once it's been resolved.  This way she does not have to choose between you.  It is certainly something she should know about though for her own safety as well.
   
   Good luck.  I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

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4. 73

   poeticmentorposted 13 years ago

   THANK YOU FOR THE SUGGESTIONS.  When I tried to talk to my mom about it, she completely called me a liar and told me to keep my things out of her house! She constantly defended her lover and accused me of trying to break up her relationship and run her life. I pleaded with her and asked her to at least consider the facts and she refused. I kindly collected my belongings and left.  I am not sure if I will be seeing her again for a long while..at least until she wakes up realizes she is dealing with a conniving, manipulative @#$%.  My feelings are truly hurt because my mother and I are very close. Items that were stolen were my diamond rings and my prescription meds! sounds like a crackhead move to me. I will let God fight this battle. it will be only a matter of time before this person gets what they deserve! I am over it! As much as I want to notify authorities, I will give it to God. thanks.

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