Why do family members have so many problems after the death of a loved one?

Jump to Last Post 1-7 of 7 discussions (7 posts)
  1. Virtual Treasures profile image63
    Virtual Treasuresposted 6 years ago

    Why do family members have so many problems after the death of a loved one?

    Inheritances seem to cause huge problems, literally tearing families apart.  How can a once loving family become so blinded?

  2. Jackie Lynnley profile image91
    Jackie Lynnleyposted 6 years ago

    A death of a loved one is a dramatic change for some families, especially if it is someone head of a family or one all are very fond of. It is an absence never to be replaced and may never be the same.

  3. Angela Blair profile image75
    Angela Blairposted 6 years ago

    First of all the emotional loss is huge when a family member dies and quite often no one is thinking as clearly as they might if not under stress/grief. Those left are the ones to make all after-death decisions as to burial, place, etc. and quite often everyone has a different idea of how this should be handled which can cause great dissention among family members. Then there's the deceased's property which is often a bone of contention whether there's a Will or not. If some family members feel slighted or left out as to the deceased's belongings and how they're doled out this can cause family tension for many years. Once loving families can become riddled with grief, dissention and yes, greed. Inheritance is usually the biggest problem even if all family members knew who gets what before the person dies. It's gone on since the beginning of time and if there's a solution, ie. putting a loving family back together I've seen it but rarely -- and it's so very sad.

  4. MsDora profile image94
    MsDoraposted 6 years ago

    Grief by itself stirs up negative emotions like fear, anger, hostility.  Add to that the love of money which make people irrational.  It might not be so bad if the money issue could be shelved until they all get sane again.

  5. daywriter profile image61
    daywriterposted 6 years ago

    There are other reasons besides inheritances to tear families apart and one of them is when the loved one took his/her life. At that point  there are mixed feelings working together - with the grief comes the desperation, the guilt, the question what if... This is the worst cenario.. It takes a long time to find the path of peace, compassion and love, acceptance.

  6. Nicola Tweedie profile image79
    Nicola Tweedieposted 6 years ago

    I think endings are the hardest things to do - epecially for us in the west, who invest in staying young and avoiding the gracefulness of old age. All of our cultural drivers seem to be around maintaining things around us and within us and trying not to think about the time-limited nature of everything. Consequently we become obsessed with trying to control things, sometimes to the effect that we don't enjoy what we have.
    I think the families that have most problems with money and things following a death are the families that are most interested in things, rather than relationships. People invest huge amounts of time ingratiating themselves with older members to try and "get" things from them after their death. The aquisition is the important things rather than the person.
    A previous partner had parents like this and it made me feel disgusted to see how they treated his grandfather - I thank god I didn't marry into that family!

  7. donnaisabella profile image82
    donnaisabellaposted 6 years ago

    This is so true. I was attending a memorial service for a friend's mother today. At one point she stood at the pulpit with her older brother and sister, for some reason I thought she would have a very hard time with these people even if she was the one looking after her mother. It happens in most families and it can be sad to watch. Sometimes (many times) it is over possessions, but at other times it is because a family is really not all that together. When my paternal grandparents died (5 years apart), there were no fight over anything. It is outsiders who fought us about different things, our family remained intact. There has not been a death in the family that set us against one another, even if a few have had the potential but the unity  and respect we had for one another exceeded that. Most of the conflicts arise because of possessions and one cannot say whether those who are richer or poorer suffer more from that. It is just a human thing to want more for ourselves than for others. I hope my friend will be fine with her family. For families like this, the conflict would arise more so from blaming one another for not caring when they should have or for not caring enough! We fight because somehow behind our minds we are angry and feel like we can stop death. It is not so much the death that causes trouble but the fact that we are helpless over it...


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)