How do you balance your parents' viewpoints about childrearing with your own when you're a parent?
I want to respect their advice but have my own ideas about raising my kids....
A parent has ultimate responsibility for establishing and enforcing the rules and theories that apply to their children. Just as your parents did with you.
That said, a grandparent has many years of general experience and specific experience with you. You can evaluate their experience (and success or failure) by taking a look at yourself and remembering their parenting and what it meant and how it worked.
If you take the things they did that made you feel loved, worthwhile, valued and good and use them, or some version of them, in your own parenting then you can blend it in wtih your own style. (Be certain to exclude any of their parenting that made you feel bad, worthless or unloved.)
So, in a nutshell, you have the advantage of personally having seen your own parents (and those of your friends) in action. Take the best and merge it with your own approach. You do not have to reinvent the wheel.
Be flexible enough to reassess and make changes if warranted. In the end, however, you are the final authority on your children.
It depends on whether or not their viewpoints undermine the values you are trying to instill in your children. It is probably good for your children to adjust to different standards of different people, they will adjust better in the real world. It is good for kids to feel secure with other family members so they would not feel completely abandoned if something happened to you. If possible, I recommend telling your children how you expect them to behave around you, and in your absence, they need to respect your parents. I am assuming your parents are not teaching your children things that are immoral, illlegal or unethical. It is good for children to be exposed to different viewpoints. In a perfect world, it makes them better critical thinkers.
When I had my first child, my mother gave me some great advice. She said to remember what I liked about growing up but also to change what I didn't like-- that we are an evolving species and it starts with what we teach our children.
by Linda Crampton 3 years ago
What are the problems and advantages of having adult children living in the family home?If an adult child returns to live with his or her parents in the family home, or if the child never leaves home after growing up, what are some problems and advantages from both the adult child's point of view...
by Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago
or Future FailureHow your parents perceived you in your formative years have a major impact regarding if you have high or low self-esteem or self-worth, be a success or failure in life, and/or will fearless risk taker or a timid risk aversive person. Many parents do not realize the...
by Mom Kat 3 years ago
Does it bother anyone else when people who have no children give advice on what you should or shouldn't be doing ~ or on how to raise children "the right way"?I don't care how many books you've read, classes you've taken, or number of families you've "witnessed" - unless you are...
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|