Is the "rewards and punishment" type of discipline still works for the children?
Rewards and punishment is a type of punishment wherein our children is rewarded for being good. Is this a positive way of disciplining children or we are just cultivating opportunistic children wherein they are always anticipating rewards every time they do good things?
You should look at the work done by Lawrence Kohlberg. Rewards and punishment is the very lowest form of behavior. How will kids behave after those structures are taken away? We need to train children to really internalize values, not just modify their behaviors for a short period of time. I also suggest that you look at the book titled Love and Logic.
In my opinion, opportunistic children develop from being deprived of praise not by being given praise. A child who is raised with positive reinforcement (reward) over negative reinforcement (punishment) will function better within the school system, will have a more loving view of the world, and be less inclined to be a "punisher" or a bully himself. When the bond between a parent and child is close, it takes only a look to modify behavior. A look from my father could floor me and was all he needed to change my behavior. Why? because I wanted to please him and my mother. It was all based on my love for them and their love for me. That bond is created from birth to three. That's why it's critical to establish that relationship in the very beginning. If you punish a child, especially with physical punishment, a teacher in the classroom is left with no resources to modify behavior. Interestingly, Native American children, I was once told, do not respond to individual praise because the culture is based on doing what is good for the whole. A consultant in an inner city school once told me that when I praised a Native American child, he didn't respond because I had exalted him above his peers and he wasn't comfortable in that role. Being taught by people who understand the culture of the child with whom they interact is critical. And understanding, by the parent, of the teacher's culture and his or her approach to behavior modification is important as well.
My wife and I have used this system since the kids were 4yrs old and are now 10 & 11yrs. I think this is a great system and we still occasionally use it today. We didn't use it frequently but would use it as we felt needed, therefore, the kids didn't expect to be rewarded every time.
I believe it does. We have used this but not so frequently that it makes the kids depend on being rewarded.
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