Is spanking a misbehaving child morally wrong?
Wether you spank your children or not, do you think it's ok if a parents chooses to swat their kids on the bum as a form of discipline?
I don't think so. Sometimes you gotta whack em to show them who's boss. Just don't be excessive about it. Don't spank them because you can't find the TV remote and trivial stuff like that. Only spank them when all else fails.
Spanking, slapping, pinching, twisting, shaking, etc. is just violence. As a person and a society do we really want to teach our children violence - particularly from a person who is supposed to love them?
There are plenty of ways to teach and control behavior in children without the back of your hand
No, it isn't wrong, and to not give your kids a whack on the backside is doing them a diservice and not teaching them that the result of naaughty behavoir leads to unpleasent things. We can do without the withdrawing of treats, etc, that would have never worked with me, and it never worked with my kids; however, a quick swipe of the bum worked wonders.
It's not okay unless you want to teach your child that solving problems with violence is a good idea and who would want to teach a child that? Instead, teach your child to work out problems with words and reason. Parents hit because they let the emotion of the moment overtake them. Frustration builds and they lash out. Breathe deeply, take a moment and work it out with words, consequences for their actions, punishments when needed, etc. but NEVER violence. The world will thank you for it.
The problem is, most people spank out of anger. If everyone waited until they cooled down then they would no longer want to spank the child. I personally believe that violence is never the answer. If your child gets so out of control that they need a spanking then something went wrong with the parenting. There are other ways to discipline without being violent.
Corporal punishment is not good to discipline a child, a good words will do or you have to use reverse psychology to him. But sometimes spanking is applicable since there are children who are stubborn and hard to discipline. Spanking can be done but not too excessive.
Spanking is an outdated form of punishment that seemed to be popular and more acceptable back in the 50's. Nowadays, most people have learned that there are better ways to teach a child right from wrong. My husband and I took some mandatory classes through our county, which would allow us to adopt a child. One of the things they were adamant about, is no spanking.
They have studies after studies that show that spanking and other forms of physical punishment do more harm to the child than good. It's hard to refute information that has been proven over time.
So my stand would be that it's not OK to spank a misbehaving child.
Imagine if you did something wrong at work, and your boss smacked you? Not acceptable, right? It's not acceptable at home either.
No, it is not morally wrong.
I was spanked, and so was my whole generation. As was the generation before me. "Spare the rod, spoil the child".
My children were spanked.
There is a BIG difference between a spanking and a beating. No, I do not think that is right.
@ Amber-the only reason you can not spank a foster child is that it is illegal to spank a child that is not yours. That is the only reason. It's also the states way of tying your hands and controlling you. I know, I was a foster parent.
As far as studies...show me the studies.
Being that many generations of kids were spanked, and they turned out far better than some of these kids I have seen in this generation, I don't believe it.
This is certainly a topic which causes controversy alot these days. I personally agree with it & do not believe it teaches violence as some claim as it was done to me in a way that was appropriate. I wasn't beaten, bruised & worse for wear, I had parents who corrected me when I did the wrong thing & I learnt from it.
Bashing your child teaches violence not spanking, there is a huge difference. I understand that there are people who disagree with it because they were physically abused as children or their parents were borderline beating them over spanking them. Spanking when done the right way & is not used excessively is supposed to help the child relate wrong doing with receiving a spanking therefore discouraging them from wanting to do the wrong thing. Discipline is supposed to be done out of love for your child because you want the best for them. I will say though that I actually spend time with my children explaining the reason why they were disciplined.
I do know a person who doesn't spank their children due to the fact that she was physically abused when she was growing up. To my understanding she has developed a close bond with her kids by communicating & teaching them regularly through other forms of discipline & they have grown up fine, so Im not here to say that spanking is the only way, but in the answer to the actual question I do not believe it is morally wrong.
I firmly believe in spanking when needed.. i try not to, but sometimes it is necessary, in my opinion..
you are asking a VERY controversial question my friend.. so be prepared
Morally wrong? Absolutely not! Sometimes a good swat on the backside gets the brain working really well. There must be a scientific explanation for this.
I was spanked as a child. When I did something that I was told not to do, of course my mom did what she had to do as a parent. I am a much better person today because of it. I spanked my children when it was necessary. I truly believe that today's youth are in the predicament they are in because of declining parental guidance and governmental involvement. Children are running rampant and getting involved in all kinds of mischief because they think they can get away with it. My mom always reminded me that you have to start disciplining them while they are young. Years ago, my son had threatened to dial 911 if I spanked him, I told him if he did that he had better be prepared to stay with whomever DCFS placed him with. No child can stay with me and not be punished if they do wrong!!!!! If that be the case, leave your children at home!!!!! Our government says spanking is child abuse. Well send your children to our elected officials and see how they turn out.
1. If you hit them, they get the message that Might Makes Right. If that's what you want to teach them, go ahead.
2. Model the behavior you want to see in your child.
We must also keep in mind that just because some of us advocate spanking a child, it does not mean we do it on a daily basis. I also firmly believe the form of punishment needs to be suited to each child. For example, my oldest child (now 22) was only spanked a handful of times, between the ages of 2 and 3 yrs. old. After that, all I had to say was, "William, do you need a spanking?" and the behavior would stop. He knew that being naughty would lead to something he did not like. My middle child (now 21) was never spanked. I took away his prized possessions because this worked much better. Had I spanked that child, I never would have stopped. He was devil spawn! His teachers and principals had me on speed dial. By first grade I began screening my calls. I loved him but did not like him. Tell me that isn't a painful experience for a parent! I cried for YEARS over this child. Guess what? He is a thoughtful, caring, and sympathetic young man. I love and adore him. He has even apologized for being such a brat all those years (he didn't straighten out until he turned 17). Now my baby, age 11, is very different than his brothers. He was spanked three times in his life. What deterred his bad behavior? I hung a leather belt on my kitchen wall. He was never spanked with the belt. I just wanted him to know it was a possibility. It worked. I haven't had a discipline or behavior issue with child since his toddler days. Yes, I definitely think punishment needs to be suited to the individual.
Furthermore, call me old-fashioned, but I think the lack of corporal punishment is to blame for the behavior of todays' youth. I volunteer at my son's school almost daily and I can tell you which kids get spanked and which ones don't. The respectful and polite kids get spanked. The rude, narcissistic kids don't. These kids do and say what they want because they know there isn't anything an adult can do. The child is in control and knows it. It disgusts me. Parents need to stop asking their kids' permission to behave. "Jimmy, please sit down, okay?". No! It's, "Jimmy, sit down before you get hurt". Period. End of sentence.
WHEW! I think I'm done with my rant. I may need a pill for my blood pressure. LOL Good topic! I enjoyed reading the various responses.
There is a huge difference between spanking and beating like others have said. How ever, when you are "spanking" your child, your teaching him the difference between right and wrong. And introducing consequences in their life. Every one must learn the consequences of their actions. Honestly a child getting a swat on the butt is of the most successful means of learning. That is, of course, if you do it ONLY in a disciplinary form. I have an 18 month old son, he would run my life crazy if never gave him a swat on the butt for his wrongs. And I would much rather him learn from me rather than 20 years down the road when he does something and get a big spanking from the law, i.e. JAIL. I Love my son and I want the best for him. He would never learn to appreciate the things he has until he learns the consequences of abusing his privileges. I don't give my son treats all the time, because they are considered to him as a reward. Because he knows if he does good, he gets a treat! If he does wrong, he gets a pow-pow. Hence, learning the consequences.
Don't get me wrong, I don't immediately resort to a spanking. They come when he's exhausted my warnings.
One thing I do know, from being in the child's perspective and the parent's, is please, do not attempted to discipline your child while you are angry. That is where the whooping goes wrong. If you are really upset over what your child has done, step back and take a moment to calm yourself. So you can think more rationally rather than of the adrenaline pumping through you. The fear it will strike your child with, when they see the outraged mama or papa bear coming for them, is anything but healthy. You love your child. That is your baby (blood or not). Why put their beautiful, fragile little minds and hearts through the torment of trying to understand what they've done to deserve it? When you know, once your heart rate lowers, you didn't mean any of it.
Though it is YOUR choice whether you spank your child or not. But if you don't spank and have a good kid, you need to share your secret!
I thought that some of the people I met through employment who were the Klan types had very cohesive families and I liked that - because I came out of organized crime and was disengaged from my family of origin always - for various reasons. The point was that the same people got nasty when I chose not to discipline my child by beating him up, which is what spanking really is. It isn't that paddling a kid on the rear end is that bad in and of itself, but for some reason this gang - who now calls themselves 'Cornbread' and are somewhat of a social policy group - decided that EVERYONE was supposed to 'beat up' their child. I chose not to do this because I was an abused kid when younger and did not want to become an abusive parent.
I wanted my son to be able to reason things out himself with others around who were able to listen and be a positive influence. Certain people in our areas in Ohio got stuck with a cult that was so fascist though, that 'working within the parameters of the system' was no longer a possibility because in many cases the people affected had no legal support at all. So - this question about what it 'morally wrong' needs to be looked at more critically in other ways.
Without realizing it, certain people become involved in acting out aggression and other issues because of not being employed, having the child be an imposition and a hassle, and I 'think' get involved in behavior that they are sorry about later. Poor impulse control and other struggles are not dealt with by many people on a regular enough basis to say that once they start 'spanking the kid' on 'the 'butt' as the author states this, will not lead to greater levels of violence.
You the author are not looking at the fact that many people are not all that healthy, physically, emotionally, or mentally, and need to have other people take a look at what 'boundary issues' or 'limits to behavior are' and how the individual has responded to similar situations in the past.
Conclusion: There is no one right answer that fits everyone here.
I Don't care what people do. Just stay away from me and my house. I don't spank my kid. And I offer no apologies.
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by greeneyesH1982 9 years ago
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