Parents not living with their children

1. 0

   Adam Yorkposted 17 years ago

   To all of those non-custodial parents out there.  When your children need help and the other parent does not (or will not) provide the help, how do you deal with it?

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   1. 65

      darksideposted 17 years agoin reply to this

      Sometimes it can't be resolved through anything other than a court order.
      
      Going to court doesn't have to mean big lawyer bills. A person can self-represent.
      
      It's a matter of getting good advice, thinking clearly, writing it all down and doing everything in triplicate (a copy for the court, a copy for the respondent and a copy for yourself).

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2. 66

   prasadjainposted 17 years ago

   In such cases, one who can provide help, should provide, and the other parent should not object, atleast for humanity's sake!

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3. 66

   Stacie Naczelnikposted 17 years ago

   Your child is the most important, so do what is needed to help him or her.
   
   It must be very difficult not to live with your children.  My grandma criticized my mother-in-law because she is working in a different country from where her two teenage sons live with my father-in-law.  She doesn't live far away by choice--she had to leave her country to find work.  She sends most of her money home to her family.  I was really upset with my grandma, who never had to face such a difficult choice.
   
   Anyway, that was off-topic.  But, I have gained compassion for parents who cannot live with their children through my efforts to understand what my MIL is going through.

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4. 60

   Betty Jo Pettyposted 17 years ago

   Try your very best not to fight or argue.  Even children are hurt by these circumstances at times. 
   
   Children shouldn't even hear parents argue.  In places as small as houses are they sometimes do, and I know this scares them.
   
   Get outside help.  Someone that will not lose their temper.  Hopefully a relative, not an over-emotional one.
   
   Perhaps a church person could help.  If there are alcohol or some kind of drug addictions you are aware of, get help for the children as soon as possible.
   
   Sometimes they will be okay with a drinking parent, but you would want to know for sure.  You would probably need outside help that the other parent would trust to talk to them.
   
   Good luck, and God bless the children.  bjp

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5. 59

   huba7posted 17 years ago

   I have seen and lived with this very disturbing scenario-my niece lived with me, she was born out of wedlock, my sister got married to another man and she could not move on with her immediately. I also had a nephew who had to live with my mother just beacuse her mother who happened to be my step sister was married to another man. This situation abounds in my commuinty-I can understand it. But there are just some very irresponsible parents who produce more children than can look after and then mindlessly hand them over to relatives to look after. This to me is totally unacceptable.

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6. 57

   Livingstonposted 17 years ago

   I know first hand that this is a tough situation. You have to do what's right and that may me be to take on the additional responsibility.
   
   Andres

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7. 59

   topstuffposted 17 years ago

   Thats pity.But most often when we need someones help we cannot get it at the right time.
   But we cannot breakup with them despit of our all feelings.
   They say    if 
                         you
                                  judge
                                            people
                                                        you
                                                                have
                                                                         no
                                                                               time
                                                                                        to
                                                                                             them.

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