How have you corrected another person's child in a public place?

1. 78

   FreezeFrame34posted 13 years ago

   How have you corrected another person's child in a public place?
   
   I tend to interject in situations in public places when other parents are not watching their kids. I look like the bad guy, but I want my child to learn how she should behave by using teachable moments. Any thoughts?

   replyreport
2. 60

   hush4444posted 13 years ago

   Yes, often.  I just stopped a little boy in the store the other day who was opening all the containers of chicken broth in a store display.  I usually don't intervene unless the child is about to hurt themselves, or others, or is damaging something. I work in an elementary school so it comes naturally to me to correct children in a positive way.  I try not to be too judgemental towards the parents - my kids used to get away from me when they were younger.

   replyreport
3. 61

   duffsmomposted 13 years ago

   Unless the child is in danger or causing someone to be hurt, or as hush444 says doing something terribly destructive, it isn't our place to correct others children if their parents are anywhere near.  You might approach the parents and point out what their child is doing.
   
   A teachable moment can also be had by just watching the other's child misbehave.  We did that.  We might see someone kid acting like a fool, then we'd get in the car and I'd say - "wow did you see that?  I'm so glad you wouldn't do that - it was awful, don't you think?  They usually responded in kind talking about how bad the kids were acting.
   
   They usually surprised me by saying something wise like, "where was their mom?"

   replyreport
4. 60

   win-winresourcesposted 13 years ago

   Hello Freeze-
   
   Should you see a child misbehaving (but not life threatening) its very important to remember that you do not have any authority to intervene or discipline any child.  Your righteous outrage notwithstanding, if you put your hands on a child, or  threaten a child, the outcome could easily result in  serious legal ramifications.
   
   Beyond telling the child's parent, there is little you can legally do. By the way, this would apply to store employees as well. If a lilttle bugger has damaged store goods, the parent gets to pay for it, but their child can not be manhandled.
   
   Furthermore, what you want to teach your child can not come at the expense of someone else's child.
   
   Besides, how would you feel if someone disciplined your child?
   
   -DW

   replyreport
5. 78

   FreezeFrame34posted 13 years ago

   win-winresources, I never said that I would put my hands on another person's child.
   
   I have in fact, had an eight-year old child threaten to kill me and my daughter at a local playground because he said that we needed to ask his permission to get on the slide. Am I supposed to ignore this and not tell anyone? What happens when this child threatens someone in school? The teacher and the other students involved are not going to ignore it either.
   
   I also had a situation where I took my child to a local park. Little children were running around, threatening each other, screaming, pushing each other, and using inappropriate language. I thought about just leaving, but I had every right to be in that public place too. So, I did say something. I asked where their parents were (no where to be found-fourteen year old girl in charge), I told them that I did not appreciate hearing their caustic language, and I did not want my child to think their behavior was appropriate. They left, and it was better for all of us. I could enjoy my time with my family. Another person came over and said she was happy that I said something because she was ready to leave and was afraid to say anything.
   
   As for disciplining my child, I actually appreciate if another child or adult sees or hears my child doing something wrong and tells me. I am the one who disciplines; I don't expect someone else to do that part for me, nor would I want them to.

   replyreport
6. 0

   Starmom41posted 13 years ago

   unless a child is in danger, I believe it's not someone else's place to interfere, and certainly not to 'correct' them.
   however, if the parents aren't watching their kids, I might bring it to the parent's attention- like "Hey, do you know where your kid is and what he's doing?!"

   replyreport
7. 55

   Clementine8posted 12 years ago

   It is not your place to judge others behaviours and whether we beleive they are wrong or right. It is also not our place to judge other peoples parenting skills. By using another childs "bad" behaviour to teach your child "good" behaviour you are teaching your child to judge and that they are better than others. You also never know the circumstances, the other parent may be at their wits end with their childs behaviour and you may just top it off, the child may have behavioural issues which the parent deals with constantly etc.. And if not and they are just allowing their child to run rampant hurting other children in a playground, then telling them isnt going to change anything except make your time at the playground unpleasant.
   All you can do as a parent is be the best parent you can be and teach your children to be the best they can be. But this does not mean allowing others behaviours to negatively affect you. At a park I have had children push children I am with. I will firmly say to the child "Please do not push my child again,  it is not ok to push, and in our family we do not push others". This way you are standing up for your child, teaching your child to stand up for themselves and stating it in a way that does not judge the child or the parenting. You are simply stating what behaviours your family finds acceptable.

   replyreport