What is Your View on Disciplining Another Person's Child? Would You Consider it Inappropriate?
Would it be an absolute "No-No" for you, or would you consider disciplining the child of someone else following certain broad guidelines? If you would, what would those guidelines be?
I would never, ever physically discipline another person's child. However, I would reprimand a child who was out of hand in my home, who was being mean to other children or who was in danger of getting hurt or hurting others.
If I were babysitting a child, then I would feel o.k. about giving a child a time out or removing TV or computer privileges for bad behavior, but if the parents were around, it would be their responsibility to discipline the child.
Personally I'm a great believer in the saying 'it takes a village to raise a child,' I don't think there should be any problem in disciplining other people's children, at least verbally, I wouldn't condone physical discipline. One of the problems I've found is that too many parents think that their child is perfect, and if they do wrong, its someone else's fault. I remember when I was at school seeing a parent try to hit my form teacher, because she accused her daughter of being disruptive, which she was. That's just my opinion anyway.
It's a tough situation: a child behaving highly inappropriately in public. I would not want my child to be allowed to do so with impunity, but I would also not want my child to be disciplined in ways I consider inappropriate--and, of course, ideas on appropriate discipline vary quite widely!
I would suggest that verbal admonishments should probably be used more frequently--"You need to stop shrieking." "Hey! Don't run inside the building! That's an outside game." People (including me) are reluctant to speak up, quite naturally, but it seems to me quite legitimate nonetheless. And I wouldn't threaten in any way; simply stating the rules and expectations that apply would normally be the limit.
(I wouldn't attempt to reason with a younger child, either, by the way--not because it's inappropriate ethically, but because it's completely ineffective. It might work for a teenager, or a preteen, if you're lucky. It surprises me how often people try elaborate ethical arguments with a 6-year old, but I've never known it to have the slightest evident impact on the child--other than perhaps to bore them.)
On the other hand, I wouldn't ever touch someone else's child, except possibly in the most extreme circumstances, such as stopping an actual continued assault by the child. (A circumstance I've never seen in public, thankfully.)
If I am in charge of a classroom or a child in my care misbehaves, I will most certainly let them know they are wrong and remove them from the situation/sit them in a corner/lecture them/whatever is age-appropriate. I will even verbally correct a child in front of a parent if the behavior is especially egregious, e.g. running and causing an elderly person to stumble or dashing toward a busy parking lot while the parent does nothing but talk on a cell phone.
I would intervene physically only long enough to stop a life-threatening situation, e.g. grab the kid who's running into the parking lot. Good Samaritan laws protect a person in such a case. Otherwise, one doesn't dare touch anyone else's little darlings for fear of prosecution--in fact it would be legally safer to punch a negligent parent than to give their child a smack on the hand.
It would not be wise to physicaly discipline another's child. However there was a time when it was common practice to discipline children other than your own, it was called social control and had the effect of improving the behaviour of children because they knew their parents would take action against them when they were informed of their mis-behavoiur. These days it is probably the case that the adult who contacts the parent wil be greeted with a, 'so what,' or some other form of abuse or violence.
It's an absolute "no no" as far as I'm concerned. If someone else's child is doing something in my house or yard, I see no problem with telling him not to do it (especially if his parent isn't there, or doesn't bother, to tell him not to do whatever it is). As far as my child (mine are now grown, but anyway...) goes, I'd have no problem with someone else (especially someone who has the authority, or I've given the authority to) to tell my child not to do something.
If my child does something someone else sees as wrong, or that IS wrong, I expect the other adult (or even another child) to tell me. I'll decide what kind of consequences there will or won't be.
Telling a child the rules of the house, school, library, birthday party, or whatever is fine as far as I'm concerned. Some people may not want children playing in their bedrooms. Some may be fine with letting kids run all over the house. Places like schools have their rules for their own reasons. It's all fine, Sometimes a child's parents aren't even aware of some rules in one place or another, so "sharing" them politely is one thing. That's it, though, are far as I'm concerned. If there are standard consequences somewhere like school (such as detention when a kid doesn't something he shouldn't), I just take for granted that kind of thing is part of the school enforcing its own rules. Individual consequences for individual "misdeeds" is another thing, and nobody should presume to have the right to discipline someone else's child.
I find that disciplining other people's children is easy. Usually it is just a simple reminder of the rules or a cautionary comment on being careful for their safety or someone else's.
When it's not their parent, the child usually minds easily and tends to stop in their tracks.
I would not do anything that I wouldn't want someone else to do to my child.
by AussieTreeChange 2 years ago
Should you be able to discipline someone else's child?How would you deal with someone else's child if they had done something terrible while in your care? You may be babysitting/child minding for a friend or relative or have visitors with children when something very bad happens that needs...
by crystaleyes 5 years ago
If your child does something wrong like hit you because you have not given in to his tantrum, what would you do? I have sometimes given a smack on his back for misbehavior.. is it fine or am i being a bad parent?
by Scarface1300 5 years ago
How do you feel if you see a parent chastise a naughty child in public.Do you think well done serves the little blighter right. Or are you horrified.
by JP Carlos 7 years ago
There are many disciplining styles and tactics that are available to parents. But what is the line that separates acceptable and detestable?
by Jennifer Mimmie 4 years ago
Is it wrong to "get on" to someone else's child when their parents don'tpay them any attention?
by FreezeFrame34 5 years ago
How have you corrected another person's child in a public place?I tend to interject in situations in public places when other parents are not watching their kids. I look like the bad guy, but I want my child to learn how she should behave by using teachable moments. Any thoughts?
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