What are some tips for Getting Along as Parents when getting a Divorce?
Co-Parenting your children and maintaining a peaceful enviorement while going through a divorce is your top priority. read more
Don't talk negative when your child can hear about the absent parent.
If you feel like you cant get along then keep it strictly about the kids. That means anything you say to each other and anything having to deal with should be about the kids. No talking crap about each other around the kids. Make plans to do things, never just pop up. Try to be close in parenting styles because you don't want your kid favoring one parent over the other. Interact with your kid, if your kid goes back home saying "mommy or daddy ignored me the whole time I was there" then your ex isn't going to be too happy and might be rude about the visitation rights. Be polite. If you get into a committed relationship never let that person tell you what to do with your kids.
Keep reminding yourselves that this is about the children's welfare and feelings and that if there are constant disagreements between the parents, this will upset the children.
Have a relaxed attitude about visiting times and different ideas about parenting - so many people take up a position to hit out at the other parent rather than because it is really necessary. The children are not pawns, to be used to inflict pain on the other parent - they are little people whose needs are more important than the pride or manipulation of either parent.
Try not to buy the children's favoritism with bribes or by running down the other parent. The former is bad for the children's character, and the latter simply disturbs the children who may feel guilty because they have divided loyalties.
As a family law solicitor, I have been much saddened by the selfish attitude of parents who put "winning the battle" above their children's happiness and peace of mind. It's hard enough for the children anyway, so try to appreciate what they are going through from their point of view, as well as just seeing your own problems. And remember, however things turned out eventually, you did once love each other. Try and remember the good times.
It is so imperative that children not feel they are getting a divorce. Talk to them together, meet up and talk with your children present about recent events in their lives. Prove to them that although the marriage didn't work you are both still there for them as much as you ever were before, just not in the same home.
You're so right....a lot of children, even in the best of circumstances, feel that they are responsible for way more then they actually are and sometimes take on more than they need to. Talking to your children as a couple( at least in front of them)
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