Why is it hard for some parents to kick out their grown children?
Depends on the age you are talking about. If you mean over 30, there is an issue with the parents. If you mean looking for a job just after college or living at home during college, I don't see a problem.
I see no problems with children living at home if the conditions are right. They would have to be contributing to housework and budget. The house would have to be big enough and lastly they would have to be there because they wanted too, not because they were stunted in some way and could not face being out in the world.
Until the nuclear family took the forefront, the extended family model was common and expected--and still is in some countries. Children, parents, grandparents all shared a residence. It was common but as the model changed to nuclear we have rejected the extended family and many people believe there is something wrong with families staying together through the generations.
Some don't necessarily want to, particularly if the parent(s) and son/daughter are all secure in their knowledge that the grown child is mature and responsible and only in need of staying at home a little longer (or returning home for awhile) in order to get on their financial feet. There's no need for the grown child or parents to "prove anything" to anyone, because they're all secure and not worried about who thinks what.
As the parent of three grown kids who are now all out on their own, I've made it clear to all of them that will always be a place where they stay if they want/need to stay somewhere for awhile (for one reason or another). It's not what any of them would want (although I'd be happy enough with it for my own reasons, but not happy for them if I knew they weren't happy), but I'm glad I can offer them at least that much in this time of a rough economy.
From the time those three kids were very young, they had to be "grown up" for reasons I won't go into here. They've held together as individuals and as a family through things a whole lot of other kids never would have so maturely handled. If I can ever be help of to any of them at any time, I'm just grateful to be able to if/when I can. As far as I'm concerned, there's no cut-off age for loving someone, and when you love someone you want to help them and are happy when they're around. Of course, when you love someone like grown kids, you're also happy when they're happily on their own and on their feet. So, to me, whatever works best for them at any given time is OK with me. I just want them healthy, happy, and not struggling and all stressed out.
by Laurel Rogers 7 years ago
I love my son, sometimes I don't like who he seems to have become. Am I the only one? He's loud, bossy and unfriendly, someone I would never consider being friends with.I'm hoping this is only a stage, that he will outgrow it. Anyone?
by Grace Marguerite Williams 6 years ago
Most children once they are grown and established cannot WAIT to leave the parental home and establish their own roots elsewhere. Many children once they are established financially do just that. However............yes, there is ALWAYS a however, there are grown children who...
by Joan King 6 years ago
How would you encourage your grown children to move out ?Your children are all grown up, they have good jobs but they'd rather stay at home instead of moving into their own place. You like having them around but you also need to turn one of their bedrooms into an office. What do you do?
by hecate-horus 6 years ago
Do you think it's fair for grown children to interfere with their parents' dating life?I'm talking a widowed or divorced parent, obviously!
by CARIBQUEEN 19 months ago
Why do teenagers have a hard time obeying parents?
by Kathryn S. Carrington 4 years ago
What To Do When You and Your Grown Children Don't Get AlongThere is a growing trend & an ongoing heartache when parent's adult children cut them off and grandchildren are not around for the holidays. Can anyone relate to this?
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