Do you respect your child/ children? How much?

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   cloudy_coolposted 12 years ago

   Do you respect your child/ children? How much?
   
   As elders, we 'expect' respect from our children/ youngsters. But do we respect them back? Do we get down to their level and try to understand what they have to say? How many times have we overlooked a child's need to speak out? Are we really respecting the younger generation for its new thoughts? Discuss...

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   B Lucyposted 12 years ago

   I had a debate with a co-worker one time when she heard me tell my daughter to do something but followed it with the word "please".  I said "Pick up your stuff for grandma, please."  She said I was asking and children need to be told what to do.  I disagreed in that I wasn't asking but rather telling her in a polite way.
   
   Children live what they learn.  If you are a rude, demanding, disrespectful parent you will have a rude, demanding disrespectful child.  That doesn't mean you let them walk all over you or are weak.  It means teaching them the real meaning of respect.
   
   That co-workers daughters both landed in detention, suspension and one was expelled from school.  Just sayin' . . .

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      cloudy_coolposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with you here about teaching a child the right way of expressing. It starts from home at an early age. Those who bully their own children by demanding respect often only get their work done coz of fear, not because the kids appretiate you.

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   TripleAMomposted 12 years ago

   I think it depends on how you define respect.  I respect my children in so many ways.  I respect their hard work at school, all of them making straight A's.  I respect their opinions, but don't always agree with them.  I respect them when I discipline them because I explain to them what they did that was wrong and why they are getting consequences.  I try not to berate them or extensively punish in public.  Children should be respected and not abused, abandoned, or neglected. If respect means always accepting their desires and beliefs as correct and valid, then that would have to be no.  Chidren and teens don't have a thorough view of the world around them and need guidance.  Should I respect my son's decision to leave a home with friends in the middle of the night without parents knowing as OK because he believed it was OK at the time?  No, he had to learn what the potential consequences could have been, and he admitted that he did not consider them (he's 15 and thought he was just having fun).

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      cloudy_coolposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Very well said! In any case its upto the parents to decide what is best for the child to make the right choices. However, giving the child confidence by building his/her self-reapect to acheive better results is crucial, & a parent can help build

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      B Lucyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Love this!!  Respect does not mean unconditional acceptance but rather how we choose to conduct ourselves!

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      TripleAMomposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      By the way, he was well respected while he was grounded

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   oceansiderposted 12 years ago

   Hello!  My four kids are now grown, and I respect them now as I did when they were growing up.  What they thought and said as children was always important to me, and I encouraged them to speak their minds, even if it meant telling me something they didn't like about what I said or did....and I always explained to each one of my three daughters and my son, why I made the decisions I made and they have always known me well.....This is not how I was raised, when I was raised it was like being in the army, with my dad as my Sergeant!  And, as adults I respect each one of my children and frequently ask for their input....in fact when anything major is about to take place, whether good or bad, my children are always the first to know what is going on, so that they can be a part of my life, and we can still keep our close bonds.

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      cloudy_coolposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I LOVED ur answer...

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      oceansiderposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, so glad you did!

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   Lizam1posted 12 years ago

   Absolutely I do respect both my girls and I do not expect them to respect elders unless the elders are deserving of this.  Sadly many adults assume children and teen should respect them sinply becuase they are older - but they do not lead with integrity.  I think our children and teens have an important contributon to make.  I also would like to say that I do not believe in creating egocentric little wonders by praising absolutely everything they do!

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   edhanposted 12 years ago

   I believe it is both ways in communication.
   
   We have to earn respect and they do the same. We have to impart the right knowledge of upbringing and teach them to understand about respect needs to be earned.
   
   I always teach them to look in view of a 3rd party before doing things to others. If you think you do not want someone doing that to you, this also means that you should not be doing it.
   
   Respect is gained through time and proper teaching.

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   Myjathecinderposted 12 years ago

   I grew up with elders who respected me. My parents are fantastic about including me and my siblings in on conversations, really listening to us and setting high expectations for our behavior. If we messed up we knew it. If we were good then life was fun. Now I'm turning around and raising my children and trying to do the same. It can be hard to respect my three year old's decisions, but it actually a lot easier than having her act out. If children are respected, given REASONABLE control over their lives and shown plenty of love, I think they'll turn out to be good people.
   
   Thanks to my parents, I've actually had a lot of senior citizens comment to me about how good I am to work with or talk to. They've seemed surprised with my respect for them.
   
   I also try to walk into situations knowing that my respect for others is the only thing I can control. That mentality has even won over a few seniors that were rather bitter with the "young folks". It's made others more receptive to my thoughts and ideas and I hope to pass that along to my children.
   
   By the way, unlike many people I know, I still like talking with and hanging out with my parents. At the very least, you can just be selfish and invest in your own future to respect the younger generations. They'll be the ones taking care of you in the future.

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   abo ajobaposted 12 years ago

   I used to treat any child as VVIP (Very Very Important Person) of our family.

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   moonfairyposted 12 years ago

   Yes, very much. My son is grown and married now but I've always respected him. He is and always has been a person in his own right. I learned to say I'm sorry and said it whenever it was called for, and this was a huge step for me. I feel that I guided and respected him and because of that he has respect for himself and gives it to other people....
   great question!

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    rutheddavidposted 12 years ago

    judging from how I see the way I try to deal with my son who is seven years of age, I'd say I do respect him, especially when he tries to explain himself out. Communication is one important matter that defines respect between parents and their children.
    
    however, in respecting a child's condition or approaches to dealing with us as parents, there is a cord that defines how we should deal with them as individuals and as children. It is essential that discipline be a part of the process.
    
    In relation to discipline that is also considerably effective in applying proper respect for our children, here are some hubs I think might be helpful:
    
    
    Understanding the Plight of a Stressed Child Part I located at http://rutheddavid.hubpages.com/hub/Und … ssed-Child
    Let Children be Children: Raising Children in a Modern World located at http://rutheddavid.hubpages.com/hub/Let … dern-World
    How to not loose your temper when disciplining your child located at http://rutheddavid.hubpages.com/hub/How … your-child
    ADHD and the Aspect of Non-Aggression in Kids located at http://rutheddavid.hubpages.com/hub/ADH … on-in-Kids

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    nassaugirlposted 12 years ago

    This is a good question. Yes I think we shoud respect our children. This is a lesson that they will carry with them throughout their lives. Teaching your child to say please and thank you is so important for their future.
    We should model this and our children will mock us. This is a learned behavior that tends to be very positive for our future leaders.
    Everyone deserves respect and if a child feel he/she is not being respected, they will not respect you.

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