Why do most parents ask their child/children to lie for them?

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   Menjia_Roseposted 12 years ago

   Why do parents get upset that their child/children have lied to them? Why was it okay for them to lie on their behalf? Do you as a parent firmly believe it's a difference between a little white lie, a good lie, or a partial lie?

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      Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I'm confused.  As per your title, do you really think most parents tell their kids to lie, especially to lie for them?

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         Menjia_Roseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Yes, I've witness a parent tell their child to answer the phone and tell the person on the other end that they weren't home. Some children even witness their parents lying to a friend or family member. We as parents lead by examples, and if we allow our children to hear us lying or having them to lie for us; then we can't blame the child/children for doing the same on their own behalf.

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            Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            I see.  Yes, it would be wrong to teach them to lie like that, and I know some parents who do that or would do that.  Still, I'm not sure we can say that most parents do that...?
            
            Sorry, I'm not trying to be picky about your title. 
            Yes, it's wrong to teach a kid to lie, period, barring perhaps a life-or-death situation where such a thing might be called for.   
            One problem, I think, about all this is that many parents these days allow a child to be privvy to adult discussions and controversies that should be kept to adults.

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      A Troubled Manposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Telling lies is easy, whether it's a parent teaching their children religious beliefs or lying so as not to hurt someones feelings. They are all lies and are relevant to whomever is the recipient and how much damage it does.

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         Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         hmm.  You say all that like it's a true thang.

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            A Troubled Manposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            You're free to point out if it's a lie.

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               Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               And not only are you free to try to prove that Christianity teaches lies, but you're free to retract that statement too.  ha.  But I very much doubt that you will exercise that God-given right! LOL.

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                  A Troubled Manposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  That's exactly what many have been doing here, Brenda.

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                     Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     Quite fervently but nevertheless ineffectively.   Except maybe to people who are easily swayed by naysayers.

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                        A Troubled Manposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                        Oh yes, I completely understand believers are not swayed by reality, logic or reason and that anything presented as such is ineffective to the magic of invisible fairies. That doesn't mean it's entirely ineffective for others who may read the beliefs of Christianity and the reality presented in contrast.

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                           Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                           So, do you see it as your mission to persuade people that there is no God?
                           And if so, then who or what motivates you to do so?

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                              A Troubled Manposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                              Not at all. It's far more logical to show just how much damage beliefs in gods causes societies and humans. People can be persuaded by that or persuaded to join in on those beliefs and continue to propagate the damage.

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                                 Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                                 I didn't say belief in gods.  I said belief in God.

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                                    A Troubled Manposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                                    But Brenda, there are so many gods to choose from. Yours is no different than any other, equally invisible and impotent to do anything.

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                                       Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                                       Wrong.
                                       Mine created the earth.
                                       Plus, He sent His Son to die for mankind's sins.
                                       Why you or anyone would lump Him in with the other "gods" (who really are impotent compared to Him!) is beyond me.

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                                          A Troubled Manposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                                          Yes, I know it is well beyond you, Brenda.
                                          
                                          But, I only "lump Him in with the other "gods" based entirely on the fact they are all invisible and impotent. However, some of those other gods actually show some morals and ethics because they didn't send their one and only son to die.

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                                             Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                                             They're not all invisible.
                                             And if they're all "impotent" as you say, then they're not really gods at all except in the little minds of their followers.

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                                                A Troubled Manposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                                                Then, it should be a simple matter for you to show me one?
                                                
                                                
                                                
                                                Now, you're getting it, Brenda.

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                                                   Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                                                   Remember we're talking about "gods" here, not God Himself.
                                                   
                                                   You want to see one?  Go find a Buddha statue and gaze at it!  LOL.
                                                   Or even a statue of the Saints or Mary, which many people make into gods.
                                                   Or...a photo of Obama, who many people try to make into a "god".
                                                   Heck, a person can make a god out of anything they wanna worship, from "Mother Earth" to a tree to a human being to anything in between and beyond.
                                                   Or you can seek Satan himself, who does have some power.  But not all power.  (Actually, his power is limited by your own God-given conscience, if you should so choose to use that.) Jesus called him the "father of lies", so he does have some powers of persuasion over the weak human heart.
                                                   
                                                   But no one made God Himself.  And no one else Loved you so much as to offer Himself as a sacrifice for your sins.  That's not impotency, that's omnipotence.
                                                   Try as you might, no one, no thing, compares to Him.

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                                                      A Troubled Manposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                                                      There is no difference between one invisible god and another, other than what their followers claim about them, Brenda.
                                                      
                                                      
                                                      
                                                      Is that the best you can do?
                                                      
                                                      
                                                      
                                                      Yes, the men who wrote the Bible made God.
                                                      
                                                       
                                                      
                                                      Yes, I understand you consider your god to be above the others just as other followers consider their gods to be above yours.
                                                      
                                                      Again, there is no difference between any invisible gods, including yours. It is just as easy to compare Jesus to Zeus or Horus or Mithra, etc. etc. etc...

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   momsterposted 12 years ago

   I would have to say it depends on what the lie is about. Yes I have had my child not tell someone something just because of the outcome it could bring. But most people lie so that: 1. They wont get in trouble and 2. So they dont hurt someone they are lying to.
   Is it considered a lie if you dont tell someone something you know and they dont?
   So many varibles on lying.

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      Menjia_Roseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      A lie is a lie, no mater the nature of the lie. A lie never depends, it's only told. If you can't be 100% honest with yourself then you can't ever be 100% truthful to another.

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         Disturbiaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I'm afraid human interaction is more complex than just the black and white picture you suggest.  Obviously we all know it's wrong to lie, but there are times when we may be better served by a little bit of tact. 
         
         I don't know what "most" parents do or ask their children to do, but I've never had to teach my children to lie, they managed to figure that out all by themselves.

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   Joy56posted 12 years ago

   It is a little difficult to expect your children to be honest, and teach them to lie.  They get so confused.

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      Menjia_Roseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I most definitely agree with that statement!

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   psycheskinnerposted 12 years ago

   Given that polite lies are a social norm it is hardly unusual that children are taught this.  We don't live in a society where you tell people they are ugly and smell funny, even if it is true.

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      Menjia_Roseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Telling the truth only hurts when you tell a lie just to cover-up or conceal the truth. If an individual asked you whether he/she was ugly, it's okay to tell the truth; only because beauty can be found within. I firmly believe if you seek honesty from others then others should be able to obtain honesty from you as well.,

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         psycheskinnerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Telling the truth can certainly hurt if you really do think the person is ugly, and say so, and they are insulted.  Not everyone things everyone is always beautiful.

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   Joy56posted 12 years ago

   no but maybe if we met someone who smelt funny was ugly or something, better to say nothing......

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      psycheskinnerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Not answering a direct question on this would be a lie of omission and also kind of impolite.

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      Menjia_Roseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe they aren't aware or might be seeing who will be honset enough to say something about it...real people do real things, fake people do fake things. I have told many young females that they had a strange fishy odor and for them to get a check up for a possible STD. It's no harm in pulling someone to the side and making them aware of their BO, infact I think it's the right thing to do.

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   win-winresourcesposted 12 years ago

   When you lie to someone, you devalue them.  You are saying that they are just not worth even the simple truth.  Children should certainly not be taught to lie.    They can be taught to be courteous and forgiving.
   
   Being honest, however,  does not mean that you should feel obliged to comment on everyone's looks, smells, taste or whatever.  Silence can be an effective response and is far too underrated.
   
   By the way, lies are lies regardless of color and size.

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      Menjia_Roseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I truly agree, only when asked. When someone ask for your honest opinion, shall it be given in truth. No matter what, the best part of answering a question is knowing  that the truthfulness will not stop how you feel towards the individual asking the question.

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   Beth100posted 12 years ago

   A lie is a lie.  Not telling the truth is a lie.  There is no gray area when it comes to lying.  Either, you are honest or you are a liar.  If you tell your children to lie for ANY reason, then you are teaching them to become liars.  They will lie to you, themselves and everyone around them. 
   
   No.  Never.  Ever.  Teach. A. Child. To. Lie.  No. Exceptions.  >.<

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   theridehomeposted 12 years ago

   new here, and this topic sparked my interest...
   i would love to teach my little one to NEVER lie, but the truth of the matter is, he will learn on his own when and when not to lie. we ALL lie, shouldn't we mitigate the whole situation by teaching our children how serious some lies can be?
   
   i did not eat the last cupcake lie is < sorry but we forgot where we embezzled the 4.5 million dollar pensions fund to

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      Menjia_Roseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Lol:), We all tell lies because it's a lesson from life we've come to adopt...The Government Officials Lie, Judges Lie, Police Officers lie...a very clear cut point you've made

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   Juls2posted 12 years ago

   One does not need to teach a child to lie, they'll do it anyway.  We did as kids to get ourselves or a pal out of trouble if we'd got up to any mischief, we'd have a story lined up if caught and none of our parents taught us to do that.
   
   I told my kids, if they do the same (get up to some mischief and have a back-up story ready that is),  if ever caught out, it's best just to cut the crap and own up - 'cause I will always find out, and I always do.  Tell one little lie and it catches up on you. 
   
   So, no, we should not get our kids to lie for us.

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    michememeposted 12 years ago

    A lie is a lie. There is no such thing as big or small, white, black or yellow lie. When the truth is not being stated it's a lie. I find it better to teach my children to say nothing, than to lie for me. If a person ask you a question about your mother simply say, I don't discuss my mother. This way it doesn't have children deciding is this moment a lie should be told. This is what I was brought up on. Not to discuss things that have no direct impact on me, so this will keep me from lying. My family as a whole taught me, we don't discuss family business, except with family.

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       A Troubled Manposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Well said.

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          michememeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Thanks

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