When is it okay to smack your kid across the face?

1. 67

   sassydeeposted 11 years ago

   When is it okay to smack your kid across the face?
   
   I know most of you are gonna totally dislike this question but when is enough, enough? My teen is just driving me crazy with her attitude and back talk!!!!! I have tried almost everything except smacking her across her face!
   
   

   report
2. 59

   Jesse Mugnierposted 11 years ago

   Hmmm, this is a very good question. I'm not really sure if I can give you an answer. On one hand, I understand how you feel and on the other hand, I don't think you are allowed to smack her without going to jail. Have you tried taking something away from her? Her cell phone would be numero uno on my list. Teenagers cling to their phones for dear life. Car keys are another thing, don't let her drive (if she's old enough).
   What you have to understand is she is dominating her voice, making it known to the world that she is 'grown up'. The more you try to hinder her, the more backlash it causes. I know it's hard because we try so hard to protect our children, from everything, sometimes we just hold on too tight. You also have to know that she is going through a lot right now. Between the over sleeping and texting all the time, teenagers are really just trying to find themselves. They are trying to figure out who they are as people, find their opinions and their ego.
   What you need to make HER understand is that you are still the boss, you make the decisions and she still has to go by the rules and respect you. She may not fully show that respect for a few more years, but she will respect you. Try taking something away from her that she really likes and until she calms down and shows you respect, she cannot have it back. Just like when she was younger and  put her in time out, she couldn't play with her favorite toy or watch her favorite show on TV.
   I hope this has helped you in some way. The last thing I want to tell you is that if she ever says she "hates" you, she doesn't mean it. I know that can hurt a mother to hear her daughter utter that word, but what she really means is "I want my own way and I don't like to listen to anyone". Don't let the hissy fits get to you, keep your cool, and dont hit her!
   

   report
   1. 67

      sassydeeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      thanks for your answer reading it calmed me down a little

      report
3. 71

   Conservative Ladyposted 11 years ago

   I don't think that is the answer sassydee - I have raised teens and I know they can be so frustrating to deal with some times but resorting to a face slap will only  make matters worse. I once warned my daughter that if she didn't start being respectful toward me that I would remove everything from her room (I bought it) and she would get things back as she earned it. I followed through the very next time she disrepected me and took everything but her bed and dresser out of her room. She did not get everything back for 4 months, TV, stereo, iPod, xBox  etc... It was tough but it worked. She spent a lot more time with the family and read every night lol.

   report
   1. 67

      sassydeeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      thanks for your answer and i have tried everything but it's like when I do take things away she will go back to respecting me and remembering who is the parent but as soon as she gets things back a week later its back to her attitude problem!

      report
   2. 59

      Jesse Mugnierposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Try 2 weeks, if that doesn't work than 3 weeks next time and so on. She'll get the point, eventually. If not, try what conservative lady did. 4 months is long but it did the trick right?

      report
4. 92

   Faceless39posted 11 years ago

   When is violence okay, you ask?  In self-defense, when your life is in danger.
   
   You could rephrase your question:  "When is it okay to smack my Mom in the mouth?"
   
   If you're having problems with backtalk, perhaps she requires a parent who has rules that are stuck to, and consequences for her actions.  Such as:  take her phone for a week; early curfew; etc.  Hitting her is only going to bring a tidal wave of smack back in your face..

   report
   1. 67

      sassydeeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      you obviously don't get it so whatever but thanks for the answer

      report
5. 58

   adamknowsposted 11 years ago

   Well since it has been raised in this fashion, your justification for smacking is unquestionable to me.

   report
   1. 67

      sassydeeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I never said I was actually going to smack  my kid I just asked the question because I don't know if you have read any of my other questions or hubs but, when I am upset and need to vent I use Hubspages.com as one of my tools to calm down! thanks

      report