How do you find a balance when it comes to correcting your children vs. their se

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   ravenlt04posted 12 years ago

   How do you find a balance when it comes to correcting your children vs. their self expression?
   
   Some days when my patience is running low I feel like all I'm doing is fussing. "Stop smacking." "Again, sit down and finish your homework!" "Stop running around the house." "Why am I having to tell you that again?" "Be nice to each other!" "Don't talk to him/her like that." Do you feel like you have to tell your kids the same things every single day? How do you not go crazy?! What things should I just not swear? It also feels like they know I'm tired and especially try my patience on those days.

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   adrienneleighposted 12 years ago

   When they are doing something you do not want them to do, try redirecting their focus with something positive instead of telling them to stop doing what they are doing. I'm sure there are certain things they enjoy doing, so suggest they do one of those things instead. As far as homework goes, reward them for doing it. Tell them you'll all do something they enjoy, or tell them you'll give them something they like after they finish their homework. Positive reinforcement is more effective than negative reinforcement. Negative reinforcement should be a last resort. Positive reinforcement can be more challenging to stick with, but it is far more rewarding for everyone involved.

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      ravenlt04posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You are so right! As an educator, I have learned all about reinforcement. I have trouble with forgetting that my kids are human, regular kids too and all I have learned and practiced applies to them too!

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   jennshealthstoreposted 12 years ago

   This happens to me sometimes. I will get so frustrated because I feel like I am always saying the same thing. Fighting the same battles. But if I actually take the time to think before I yell and speak to her in a manner in which she feels like I am talking to her and not yelling at her, she will respond much better. We have to realize that how we react is how they are going to feel. So if we are yelling and angry, they are going to get angry and react in that way. If we are calm and understanding, then they will be calm and be much easier to talk to. It takes practice. Sometimes we are stressed, tired and just do not want to deal with it, but the more we listen to our kids, the more they will listen to us. If they are acting out, there is usually a reason why. Even when they get a little older and can express themselves in words, sometimes they do not know which words to use to express themselves. Maybe they had a bad day, they can be stressed, even as kids. It takes understanding on both parts and a lot of communication. The better we communicate with our children, the easier it will be.

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      ravenlt04posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Yes! Thank you for admitting you can relate! Kids definitely do get stressed too. Kids love rewards no matter how old they get. I definitely want to teach my kids about hard work & good choices & will start expressing my expectations positive

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   peachpurpleposted 12 years ago

   i have faced this problem frequently, at least 4 times a week! It really takes the toll when he simply refused to write and ask me to hold his hand and help him write. Obviously, this is out of the question. Hence, sometimes bribing could work. I tell him that if he finish the 1st homework, he could play his computer for 30min and continue writing the 2nd homework. Food and outing don't work on him and smacking or caning won't either.

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