How do you decide if it is the right time to impose 'tough love' upon a family member, friend,
co-worker, or anyone? Tough love is defined as harsh or stern treatment of the individual in order to correct a serious situation. Most people believe that 'love' of the person must be involved. But, with so many different definitions for love being used today, do you think this would apply in most cases where the intent is to correct a serious situation concerning the individual? Have you used 'tough love' practice to correct a situation? Do you believe that it should be used by others?
Tough love should be used in situations where either the person has a serious problem and needs help (i.e, drug abuse, addiction) or if they have done something wrong and are aware of it (i.e, robbed a bank, instigated a fight).
You should use tough love for someone who you care about, such as family, or anyone that you are worried about and don't want anything bad to happen to.
I don't believe that love must be incorporated into every situation, but rather that you must have the determination to help the person.
I use tough love on one of my baby sisters, who is pretty spoiled, and needs to learn that life won't give her everything that she asks for. Basically, if she acts like a brat and starts screaming for something, I won't give it to her. If she asks nicely, and it is a reasonable request, she can have what she wants. This is tough love because I'm doing it to help her, and prepare her for the disappointments in life.
I do believe that people should use tough love, and be assertive when it comes to certain things. Being too nice to people isn't what they always need, so when it comes down to helping them, tough love is sometimes the only solution.
I believe in giving them a chance to learn from themselves as children. But when they grow up, all you can do is provide wisdom or try to manipulate them. Tough love is commonly used in our family. You often have to learn the hard way. How else would you learn? But it depends on who uses it and how. It should only be done by someone close to them. A co-worker? Never. A friend? Only if they are as brothers. Otherwise it will mean nothing but conflict and a waste of time.
I believe that tough love is better kept to family situations. We are not able nor responsible to change an individual's behavior outside of our own family. You might be behaving in a way that I DO NOT approve of--but who am I to impose what I think is right on you?
As a friend, I will be there if a friend needs me and wants my help but I am a proponent of individual responsibility and you cannot drag someone kicking and screaming to correct behavior. They must be ready and willing to make the changes.
Individual responsibility includes assisting those who have fallen even if it means having them get mad at you. If you are you willing to call the law when a friend has committed a crime - you are assisting them as much as you can through tough love.
the bible says
Prov 15:10 Harsh discipline is for him who forsakes the way,
And he who hates correction will die.
I always use it whenever it is the scriptural answer and have seen it bare much fruit. When properly used scriptural methods ALWAYS work. Each incident is different and it must be done according to scripture-- exactly
which means considerable scriptural study and preparation
the problem that many times it does not work is because it is done contrary to scripture. to properly do it many times it is harder on you than on them. so it is not done according to scripture. and the WILL NOT bear fruit.
by Grace Marguerite Williams2 years ago
To all parents out there, what are the instances that you would apply tough love to an olderteenage (18-19 years old) or young adult(20-25 years old) child?
by Ken McGonigal7 weeks ago
What do you do if your teenager refuses to come home?My son is 16 years old. He does not like our rules. Now he is refusing to come home.
by H C Palting3 years ago
Do you practice tough love? Why or why not?
by EinsFloW6 years ago
How do you decide about something where you do not know what is the right thing to do?
by Kathryn L Hill17 months ago
What is it? It seems, over all, we are baffled. We really don't know what to think!!!For instance, I think politics is about tough love. Not enabling weakness and dependency. Others think politics is to assist those who...
by fierycj8 years ago
Its my cousin - he thinks cos he's rolling with a gang and cos he's smoking blunt now that he can do whatever the hell he likes, like pop into my crib anytime he likes and steal my damn stuff! First it was my phones....
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