jump to last post 1-5 of 5 discussions (9 posts)

How do you decide if it is the right time to impose 'tough love' upon a family m

  1. taburkett profile image60
    taburkettposted 4 years ago

    How do you decide if it is the right time to impose 'tough love' upon a family member, friend,

    co-worker, or anyone?  Tough love is defined as harsh or stern treatment of the individual in order to correct a serious situation. Most people believe that 'love' of the person must be involved.  But, with so many different definitions for love being used today, do you think this would apply in most cases where the intent is to correct a serious situation concerning the individual?  Have you used 'tough love' practice to correct a situation?  Do you believe that it should be used by others?


  2. Humble Logic profile image60
    Humble Logicposted 4 years ago

    Tough love should be used in situations where either the person has a serious problem and needs help (i.e, drug abuse, addiction) or if they have done something wrong and are aware of it (i.e, robbed a bank, instigated a fight).

    You should use tough love for someone who you care about, such as family, or anyone that you are worried about and don't want anything bad to happen to.

    I don't believe that love must be incorporated into every situation, but rather that you must have the determination to help the person.

    I use tough love on one of my baby sisters, who is pretty spoiled, and needs to learn that life won't give her everything that she asks for. Basically, if she acts like a brat and starts screaming for something, I won't give it to her. If she asks nicely, and it is a reasonable request, she can have what she wants. This is tough love because I'm doing it to help her, and prepare her for the disappointments in life.

    I do believe that people should use tough love, and be assertive when it comes to certain things. Being too nice to people isn't what they always need, so when it comes down to helping them, tough love is sometimes the only solution. smile

    1. taburkett profile image60
      taburkettposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      You are correct. I wish more people understood this so we would have more correction and less corruption.

  3. lburmaster profile image83
    lburmasterposted 4 years ago

    I believe in giving them a chance to learn from themselves as children. But when they grow up, all you can do is provide wisdom or try to manipulate them. Tough love is commonly used in our family. You often have to learn the hard way. How else would you learn? But it depends on who uses it and how. It should only be done by someone close to them. A co-worker? Never. A friend? Only if they are as brothers. Otherwise it will mean nothing but conflict and a waste of time.

    1. duffsmom profile image61
      duffsmomposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Agreed, well said.

    2. taburkett profile image60
      taburkettposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I believe that everyone deserves to be saved, even when the saving is from their own making. Otherwise, I have not assisted my brothers and sisters as much as I can.

  4. duffsmom profile image61
    duffsmomposted 4 years ago

    I believe that tough love is better kept to family situations. We are not able nor responsible to change an individual's behavior outside of our own family.  You might be behaving in a way that I DO NOT approve of--but who am I to impose what I think is right on you?

    As a friend, I will be there if a friend needs me and wants my help but I am a proponent of individual responsibility and you cannot drag someone kicking and screaming to correct behavior. They must be ready and willing to make the changes.

    1. taburkett profile image60
      taburkettposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Individual responsibility includes assisting those who have fallen even if it means having them get mad at you. If you are you willing to call the law when a friend has committed a crime - you are assisting them as much as you can through tough love.

  5. celafoe profile image58
    celafoeposted 4 years ago

    the bible says
    Prov 15:10    Harsh discipline is for him who forsakes the way,
    And he who hates correction will die.
    I always use  it whenever it is the scriptural answer and have seen it bare much fruit.    When properly used scriptural methods  ALWAYS work.  Each incident is different and it must be done according to scripture-- exactly
    which means considerable scriptural study and preparation
    the problem  that many times it does not work is because it is done contrary to scripture.   to properly do it many times it is harder on you than on them.  so it is not done according to scripture.  and the WILL NOT bear fruit.