What causes so many parents to demand impossible standards of perfection from their children?
Childhood is a time of learning, curiosity, and experimentation. While enlightened parents realize this and encourage their children in such, there are OTHER parents who expect that their children be as perfect as possible. These are the parents who mistakes are an anathema. They are of the school that if children follow their directives, things would go smoothly. They view mistakes as deadly and as a detour to achieving goals and a successful life.
because society and our public education sytem have set these standards,... children do not recieve an education in school any more,... they survive school,... its not so much a learning experience as a barbaric right of passage,... anything less than the ever fluctuating standard of "average" will get you labled with one dissability or another so that your grade will be "adjusted" so as not to screw up the districts numbers/funding,..... all of this is transfered by teachers to the parents and builds stress,... after all, your kids are a reflection of you yes?..... "how could my kids get bad grades?"....... "how could my son be soo bad at sports?"...... people will think my daughter is stupid if she doesnt get good grades, and will therefore (in an age of DNA) think that I MUST BE STUPID TOO,..... if people think my son is a sissy then they will think that I MIGHT BE A SISSY TOO,.....
in the end it comes down to the "I"....... parents who are more concerned about thier own image and reputation will project thier fears of failure and being unaccepted onto their kids,... it winds up making ugly soccer moms and dads,.... ugly PTA moms and dads,.... instead of nurturing moms and dads,...
we have build a system that demands we "achive in a numericaly measurable mannor so that we can rate ourselves by your numbers" ....... which leaves little to no room for real learning, or growth,... or understanding.
you can teach a dog to bark on command, that does not mean you can make him understand why he does it beyond the biscuit..... and pavlov was not a school teacher,... but the "conditioned reflex" is very much what we employ over real teaching these days,... he was also a parent, let us hope he treated his children better than his research subjects.
Well there are a lot of reason. Being they really want what is better for their child, they just don't understand what the child really wants. They want their child to be successful, and fit the part. They don't want them to end up in the same boat.
Parent's tend to want what is best for their children. In reality, they don't see themselves, as asking too much. They see themselves as trying to help their children the best way they can.
Often times, people don't see that side of being a parent. They see that the parent is over demanding and try to put a blame to it. Yes, sometimes there may be hard reasons for parents demanding hard on their kids. But in actually, most times it is not the case.
Most parents feel their children can do better and want the best for their children what they couldn't have is now possible for their children to have and also parents can afford to give their children a proper education.
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