What causes many parents to devalue their children's individuality, constantly emphasizing that
they should be like everyone else?
I love my son's individuality. I have always encouraged what is special about him. I do know there are parents who push their children to fit a mold, but I don't think that's right. I know one guy who, when he was in a spelling bee in grade school and came in second he started to cry because he knew his parents would be mad he didn't get 1st. When he grew up he became a lawyer for his parents and was perfectly miserable. His whole life was what his parents wanted, not what he wanted. I would rather my son be a happy mechanic than a miserable doctor. I was told by a teacher that the secret of life is to have a job that makes you happy. That way you wake up and look foreword to each day.
The problem with most parents they often think they know what is best for their children what they couldn't have during their generation that children now can makes most parents feel the need to interfere in their children's lives and try to force kids to fulfill their mistakes. No child should feel pressured into decision making a child should be free to think and decide for him or herself. Parents should guide their children rather than push them to achieve what they couldn't achieve.
This question is more complicated than it seems and a very good question. There is a very fine line a person has to walk on this matter when raising a child. Going too far with devaluing individuality leaves a child extremely vulnerable to getting mixed up with the wrong crowd. They would tend to be a follower rather than a leader. This could result in them settling to be part of the status quo and selling themselves short in life.
On the other hand, stressing individuality too much can result in a child that feels that they don't fit in anywhere or with any group at all. Or they could feel as though they are better or worse than a group or groups. Feeling too individualized, can result in the child becoming isolated and alone.
They need to learn both. They need to be taught that they can be part of the group without getting lost in the crowd.
Addressing other's answers, as a child or young adult, we can make suggestions to our children. We can do that, if our relationship is right, by objectively making the child aware of their strengths and weaknesses. We can give them all the information we have at our disposal, but let them know the final decisions are up to them. What is extremely important in letting them know that we have complete confidence and respect for their decision making and will support them, even if it's not exactly what we as parents want. There is a very good chance that your suggestions will carry a lot more weight if the child knows you are putting their dreams ahead of your own.
Parents should help their child make decisions for their well-being and future, but not to the point where they are running their child's life. They must respect the opinion and decisions the child makes, especially as they enter adulthood. Some parents may not be satisfied with their own life, and want to impose that on their child, as if they are getting a second chance to prove an accomplishment. Even successful parents can have problems or situations we are not aware of, that cause them to react this way. Another reason is that parents are totally against the behavior, choices, and life-style their child has chosen and want to change them. This can only be accomplished by being understanding, patient and loving to their child. Constantly emphasizing inadequacies, in their opinion, only alienates the child from the parent.
by Grace Marguerite Williams 6 years ago
Why do so many parents discount their children's and/or teenager's opinions?
by Grace Marguerite Williams 4 years ago
or Future FailureHow your parents perceived you in your formative years have a major impact regarding if you have high or low self-esteem or self-worth, be a success or failure in life, and/or will fearless risk taker or a timid risk aversive person. Many parents do not realize the...
by ngureco 9 years ago
Many Parents Want Two Children - But The Extra Ones Are Conceived By Mistake. What Do You Say?
by Gemini Fox 6 years ago
Do you feel that children these days are much more rude/undisciplined than the way you were raised?
by etauntontv 8 years ago
how do you even start ?
by heartexpressions 3 years ago
Do you think it is okay to stalk your children's social media accounts, why or why not?
Copyright © 2019 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|