Were YOU an unwanted and/or unplanned child?If so, were you begrudingly accepted, barely tolerated,
thought to be in the way, and/or an extra mouth?
I was an unplanned child in some less than ideal circumstances for my mom...
But she has been the most amazing mother. We're best friends and as close as can be. I never felt unwanted.
My daughter was unplanned also and while the pregnancy wasn't 'wanted', she very much is.
I was, but out of that came a lesson and a blessing. That is, the search for wisdom. Which meant hitting up the bookstores at an early age to figure out how to be free of the ignorance. There is very little that a child can do in that situation. You can't go off the top of your head with no information. However, the self improvement genre has been around for a long time. Every answer was already there. And philosophy has been around for thousands of years. The lesson was self love, self respect, self esteem and detachment. And the beauty is, it was needed in order to be free of the world as well. People who depend on others for their self worth will suffer because no one can always support them in that way. In fact, the society, the employers, and others will constantly challenge a person or try to make them feel inferior. The person who loves who they are can see right through them. They could never buy into such foolishness. Those people are miserable and their way of coping is, they feel the need to put others down to elevate themselves. With that understanding, freedom becomes a simple matter. The self is first, period.
Being a "baby boomer" I'd say a large percentage of us were "unplanned babies". In fact during that era I think a lot of people just "expected" to graduate from high school, get a job, get married, and start a family. There wasn't a thought out "plan" only an "assumption". Also there weren't nearly as many quality birth control methods which offered them easy access.
There was not a whole of "planning" going on. At least not in terms of building a nest egg, buying a home, making sure one has resources like medical & life insurance in place (before) having children.
Those who did go to college oftentimes made their lives more stressful then it had to be by getting married, having, children, and working while going to school at night. If they had gotten their education, established a career path, and (intelligently chose) a mate with the (same values) to marry; most children would have had better and more stable childhoods in that era.
Stressful households are toxic for children.
Too bad we only get one set of "formative" years.
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