The Perils of Being An Unwanted Child In Your Family

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  1. gmwilliams profile image84
    gmwilliamsposted 9 years ago

    I have read threads regarding the stance of prolifers who assert proudly that a woman who becomes pregnant, should keep and raise her child.    They loudly condemn abortion in all cases even rape.   Well, I am totally appalled by this naturally as a staunch pro-choice feminist. 

    I staunchly proclaim that NO woman should have to endure an unwanted pregnancy.  It is psychologically abusive to her body.   Furthermore, if she is forced to endure an unwanted pregnancy and have the child, she will neither adequately bond nor love the child.    There have been authenticated cases of such unwanted children being abused and scapegoated in their families.   These children receive the worst of care emotionally, financially, and psychologically.   They are often told by their parents to leave or are forcibly ejected from their parental home before they are ready to adequately take care of themselves.   They are often the throwaway children  and runaways in our society.   

    Unwanted children often have a hard time from the inception.   Many people are irreparably damaged both psychologically by parents and families that clearly do not want them but "raised" them because of obligation, not love.   It is only a thoughtless and inhumane person who advocates that women should never abort and that they should keep their child because they are "mothers" .   The aforementioned premise is totally atavistic to say the least.  What is your premise on this subject?

    1. Josak profile image61
      Josakposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Tough one this one... See I was adopted out at a young age and I love love love my life, I am gratefull for every minute of it but I have met my birth mother and she told me I was allmost aborted. So while I am a leftist and liberal on this one I am on the fence, I would say I support the right to her having an abortion BUT I would consider it immoral, I think the moral course of action would be to give birth to the child then adopt it out. the premise of your question allmost seems to be that children with tough childhoods may as well not be born at all. I had one of those and I dont agree.

    2. profile image0
      Brenda Durhamposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      My premise is this---you're talking trash here.  I personally know several people who were illegitimate and whom at least one parent didn't really want them or weren't able to express love to them.   Those people turned out to live lives of much much worth emotionally and socially, if not monetarily or ambitiously.  And even IF they hadn't lived productive lives, they at least had a life, a life where THEY could love someone else. And a life where they could be loved by someone (because everyone is loved by someone!)  A life that wasn't anyone else's (except God's) to take.

      Thoughtless and inhumane, you say?  It's actually the re-defining of LIFE that continues to present a thoughtless and inhumane concept to our society.

      1. gmwilliams profile image84
        gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

        I believe in living a life of the utmost quality.  If you do not live a life which expresses your utmost human potential for success and love, then your life is wasted.   Being alive is not enough.  A child needs to be wanted and loved in order to mature and to grow up to be an educated member of society.   To reiterate, no child should be unwanted- not whatsoever.    If a woman does not wish to continue her pregnancy, no one has a right to forbid her to have an abortion.   

        There are many children who suffer abuse from benign neglect to the most horrific abuse because a woman was propogandized to keep the unwanted child.  This is inhumanity to the milnillionth degree.   An unwanted pregnancy affects both the mother and the child.  It causes psychological repercussions for the mother and for the child, it often leads to abuse in all its degrees. 

        Many throwaway children are those who were unwanted by their families.   Their parents reluctantly raised them in the hopes that they leave home as soon as possible one way or another.  My premise is that every child should be wanted.  Anyone who says otherwise needs to wake up to reality and to become more evolved as a human being.

    3. profile image0
      Phoebe Pikeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Though I personally would never have an abortion, I understand that many share your point of view... some would say to give the child up for adoption, or to terminate the child before it became an issue. But honestly I cannot imagine the damaging effects. I can't imagine wanting to give up the chance for a child, but I'm not the kind of person who could ever hate a child. I don't know. I think that's a tricky situation.

  2. tobey100 profile image62
    tobey100posted 9 years ago

    I have to agree with Josak.  Unwanted and alive is much better than unwanted and aborted.  There are no throw-away lives in my book.  Hey, I had three brothers and two sisters.  I sort of wanted to be an unwanted child and get adopted out to a couple with no kids so I could then be an only child.

    1. carol3san profile image60
      carol3sanposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I am a true believer of women's rights, including the right for a woman to decide on her own if she wants to bring a child into the world.  Why should the womwn be punished and bring an unwanted child into the world?  Why should the child suffer for having a parent that didn't want him or her?  So many people are very egar for a woman to keep her unwanted baby, but will turn up their noses at the woman when she applies for food stamps or other public assistance.  What hypocrites!

  3. profile image0
    Brenda Durhamposted 9 years ago

    I will add that there is such a thing as the "morning after" pill for victims of rape.  I agree with that.  And even though, yes, I'm aware that some young girls or women may be too scared to even report a rape, still we must draw the line somewhere in this serious issue.  Because it is indeed a matter of life or death.

  4. profile image0
    Larry Wallposted 9 years ago

    First, I have an adopted son. His birth mother was leading a wild and destructive lifestyle. The pregnancy caused her to clean up her act.
    Secondly, abortion should never be a birth control option.
    Third, if a woman does find that she is pregnant, she has the opportunity to take the high road. She can plan on giving the baby up for adoption or raising the child. Regardless of the choice, she has the chance to get her life back on track and to realize that all actions, even the chance sexual encounter carries with it certain responsibilities. During the pregnancy she can learn responsibility and if she can she can get the father involved and let him learn about his responsibilities.
    Suicide is an illegal act. Mercy killing is an illegal act. These are choices that some people believe the individual should be allowed to make for themselves. Abortion is really no different, except you are making a decision for someone else. I will not argue when life begins--be it at conception or a few weeks later. It makes no difference. A life ultimately hangs in the balance when a woman is considering an abortion.
    Being a man, I do not know the pain, discomfort, etc, that a woman goes through when she is pregnant. We could not have children, so my wife was never pregnant.
    However, I have know many woman who have had babies and while the morning sickness, bloating and backaches were not comfortable, I known none of them would have ever considered aborting the child.
    It is simply the wrong thing to do. Do not tell me it is a matter of free choice. There are many choices that we cannot control. My son is legally blind. He cannot drive, because it is against the law. You cannot rob a bank because you are broke and you cannot shoot your neighbor because his crabgrass is creeping into your yard and you should not kill a child because it is inconvenient. Responsibility is the key word.


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