My son misses me in school, what should I do?
My son is 8 years old, in primary 2 this year. School had just started and he misses me in school that he sobbed. I told him that he is a grown boy, mom missed him too, shouldn't sob. What else can I do?
Make a key chain with a picture of the two of you to put on his back pack. Let him know his momma is always with him and whenever he starts to miss you he can hold your picture. I also leave my son notes in his lunch that I pack him everyday.
Aw, that is so hard, for you as the mother and your son. I remember when I dropped my daughter or son off at pre-school, they would cry so much and grab onto my clothing and it upset me so much. However, their teachers told me once I actually left, they were just fine. So, one day I went back to check, and they were just fine playing with other children and not crying. I think it is that first few moments of separation anxiety, which is hard for both the child and the parent. You have received some great advice here already. I hope it gets better.
Is there anything going on in school that may have raised his anxiety levels? It might be worth having a little chat with him just to make sure that there is no bullying going on. I hope he settles soon x
I'm also wondering if something has caused him to feel this way, such as something bothering him at school. Particularly if this is new behaviour, and assuming he hasn't just started a new school with new children.
Leave a photo of yourself in his books/backpack/etc. with a note on the back of the photo something like "Be a grown boy and learn that even though I am not standing beside you, I am always there in your heart. Mom loves you very much." (Use your own words of course.)
Well let me tell you what not to do.
In high school my cousin would have his mother come out and each lunch with him. A lot. My friends would make fun of him a lot and I wouldn't say he was my cousin.
I'm not a parent myself, so I wouldn't know how to answer your question. But please don't do that.
Maybe you could choose one of his friends (or more) in the class and see if his mother would agree for him to be over some to make closer friends with your son. This would perhaps link someone in his home to himself at school and feel better about being away? It hurts almost as bad when they start "not" missing you.
No need to worry. In another 8 days, you'll find that your son is not sobbing at all on reaching the school.
You'll then see or hear him say the nursery rhymes and so on in some corner..
You know what! I joined an evening P.G. course when my daughter was just about two. And so I used to leave her at the creche in the afternoon and my husband would pick her up in the evening.
I simply hated myself when she would start sobbing at the turn of the lane. And then after about 7-8 days, I noticed she had stopped crying. That's when I noticed that she had begun saying rhymes.
Soon, she began looking forward to going to creche.
It happened again, when I put my younger son in school. Though, I taught in the same school, my son cried almost all the time.
He finally adjusted. But yes one thing. This particular school and the teachers were not so affectionate as the creche my daughter went to. And so taking advantage of my husband's transfer, I took a break and had my son admitted to a good school with an affectionate staff.
Also, if you show remorse or guilt, your child will definitely not learn to adjust.
Best of luck & relax.
My daughter had the same issue. After about 6 weeks when I realized it had not gotten any better, I put my photo & my husband's inside an empty matchbox. When she got lonely she could look at it. We also talked with the teacher who confirmed that she was having a hard time especially when the class was transitioning to different locations. I never imagined that it would take so long for her to get comfortable at school, but each child is different. Don't beat yourself up if your little guy isn't exactly like the other kids! His needs are different and good for you for being sensitive to them. My daughter lost the matchbox after a month and never asked for a replacement one
I always made my boys their own lunches and when they were little (your son's age) would make sandwiches cut out with cookies cutters in cute shapes and put little notes in their lunchboxes with hearts on them or cute pictures so they would smile in the middle of their day and know that Mom loves them no matter where they are.
Sounds like you son is having some attachment issues. There may be more going on for him. Allowing him to talk to you about his feelings is important and trying to figure out what he needs. Maybe something from home that can comfort him when he is in school, or a little daily inspirational note. Please try to let him talk about what he is feeling, without inputting how you feel about him sobbing. This is important so that he knows it is OK to feel and that he isn't making it bad for you. That improves his ability to express himself to you without worrying that he is doing something wrong. Poor love, it is hard to be a sensitive in this world.
I have seen this happen over and over again when I was Principal of a school. Some kids are too close to their parents that they do miss them. I have parents who would be outside the classroom showing themselves to their kids but this is not helpful especially when there are several of them. this is part of their growing up and each step will have its own challenge. Talk to the teacher about it. They can always find someone in class to make your child feel more at home.
Do not worry you will get used to him with time. Try to makehim loves the school and the teacher. I bought some gifts simple and Mark parameter give my daughter a matter of encouragement. I always speak about the school well in front of him.Even he became the school now is the focus of his life. All he needs some time and you also must be more powerful and controls your feelings
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