How do you help your child when he/she is 'stubborn' and wants to do it their ow

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   Joe Fiducciaposted 10 years ago

   How do you help your child when he/she is 'stubborn' and wants to do it their own way?
   
   First, I know our kids sometimes have to learn things on their own.  And I am all for letting go of the reigns and allowing him to grow on his own.  But here's a simple example of what I mean - he currently takes lessons in tennis.  While watching him, his serve posture could use a little help.  I am a tennis player as well, and naturally want to help him get better.  So later in the week I try to help him but demonstrating the right posture and motion and asking him to try it.  But he won't even try.  He is determined to do it HIS way.  How can I help him if he won't even listen or try?

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   lisasuniquevoiceposted 10 years ago

   Joe,
   The question is about whether or not you want the child to have fun doing an activity or you want them to become a professional. If you want them to have fun, what's the harm in letting them do things on their own.
   Lisa

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      Joe Fiducciaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I do agree with you.  It's always a fine line for me.  I want him to have a great time AND learn from my own experiences that can help him get even better.  Just have to find that balance.  Thank you for your response!

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   peachpurpleposted 10 years ago

   My boy is eight, he insist to have his own way, his dad allows him bcoz doesn't want to hear him whining

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   Ian Mooneposted 10 years ago

   Dude I know you mean best but let him do it his way, because that's how we have to go through life, our way....Let him play & see how he gets on, & if & when he ask for your advice give him it with joy when ever he needs it....The best Tennis players that ever lived would have all picked up a racket whilst young, & then learned to play naturally without coaches until obviously picked up by a coach....So if you start tweaking with his natural style or posture etc, you will be taking away from his talent....I mean it does depend on the age of your kid, because I'm talking about really young kids here.....I'd say the greatest servers in the world would have learned by themselves, how to find "their" best most reliable perfect 1st & 2nd serves..I say it's good that he wants to do it his way, because that's what men want to do so he's already learning. :-)

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      Joe Fiducciaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Ian.  I do realize that he's going to have to find his own way in life, and I'm using tennis as just one of those examples.  It's just frustrating sometimes because as a parent you want to help them be all they can. Thanks for commenting!

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      Ian Mooneposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Whenever you watch him just tell him he was great, & better than you ever was at that age..In a childs eyes when their father/mother says you need to improve here or there (out of love), in can often be taken as criticism by the kid & upsetti

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