How do you get relatives who owe you money to stop ignoring you and pay up?

1. 95

   Readmikenowposted 8 years ago

   How do you get relatives who owe you money to stop ignoring you and pay up?

   replyreport
2. 84

   ronbergeronposted 8 years ago

   That's a difficult situation. While this doesn't really answer your question, I think that any money loaned to relatives should be looked at as a gift, even if it was supposed to be a loan. Don't make the loan if you can't afford to lose either the money or the relationship.
   
   I let a relative borrow some money, but didn't completely expect to get it back again. I never saw the money again. That's OK; I could afford it. However, that line of credit is now permanently closed.
   
   I believe there are companies that specialize in arranging loans between relatives. They make the terms, expectations, and consequences completely visible for all parties involved. That's probably the best way to go if you're dealing with substantial sums.

   replyreport
3. 78

   chuckandus6posted 8 years ago

   I think people feel akward if they cant afford to pay you back and then seem like they are ignoring you but they just cant do it and feel bad.I dont know if this is the situation but it is possible.

   replyreport
4. 93

   peeplesposted 8 years ago

   You don't. Money should never be loaned to family. Gift it but don't loan it. I follow the Dave Ramsey rules when it comes down to it. Family is not worth losing over money, neither are friends. Best to either gift it or not give it at all!
   In the end it really needs to be weighed. Who makes the most money out of the two? Who can afford to lose it the most? Is the money or principle more important than the family member? Does it really benefit to continue pressing for something they might have to struggle to give back.
   If we were talking about paying back a bank, or a business I would say something different, but really family is family, and money or making a point simply isn't worth the fight.

   replyreport
5. 84

   liesl5858posted 8 years ago

   I just don't loan anymore money to a relative who owes me money and ignores me and one who comes again and again to ask for more loans. I have a cousin who borrowed money from me and until now has not paid me, when she tried to borrow more money, I will just say I don't have any spare to lend. I think because she is a relation, she thinks she does not have to pay me. My solution, I don't lend anymore the next time she ask for a loan. It can become the cause of conflicts between relations.

   replyreport
6. 60

   fpherj48posted 8 years ago

   peeples has stated this clearly and wisely.  Once money leaves my hands and into the hands of any family member......I consider it gone.  They're my family.  If I have it to give, I give it.....If they choose to pay back (providing they CAN)  that's fine.  However, like I said, I don't think about it anymore.
   
   There may be a time I need to borrow.  What goes around, comes around.  Family is about helping..about give and take. 
   
   In your case, since you expected to be repaid....all I can say is, you should have handled it from a typical legal business standpoint.  You can easily draw up a simple statement of Loan.....names, dates, amounts and conditions.....sign and have it witnessed.   Without having done this, it gets a little messy and stressful.   
   
   Looks like you need to make a choice.  What means more to you?  your relationship or the money?  You may also want to stop lending out money....period.

   replyreport
7. 72

   Alastar Packerposted 8 years ago

   All the folks answering this are correct. Lend money to relatives and in most cases you'll never see the dough again- except with exceptional cases. Like honest relatives for example. Especially cash-strapped younger people for no return- no offense it's just the way it is. Families tend to think they can pay you back far in the future or never at all. Have had all this happen over and over again. Maybe some collateral would help. But generally they have no collateral. Yes, looking at as a gift is the right way to look at it.

   replyreport
8. 70

   word55posted 8 years ago

   There is no way. Just treat them as if they don't owe you. It's a psychological thing. Sooner or later they'll feel guilty and feel compelled to pay you back as they mature and somehow become spiritual or more. Deal with them from a distance and if they ever ask for something from you then you may remind them of the debt. Furthermore, in the Lord's Prayer there is a quote "and forgive us of our debts as we forgive our debtors." If you are spiritual then the Lord will bless you better than what your relative's repayment may be.

   replyreport
9. 0

   Kevin Goodwinposted 8 years ago

   Step up and tell them you want the money back. They can not ignore you unless you allow them to do so.

   replyreport