What do you think of people who aren't very close to their parents?

Jump to Last Post 1-9 of 9 discussions (18 posts)
  1. Jonas Rodrigo profile image83
    Jonas Rodrigoposted 3 years ago

    What do you think of people who aren't very close to their parents?

    No hate or anything; it's just that we're indifferent  to each other.

  2. Express10 profile image88
    Express10posted 3 years ago

    In this area I typically hold off on judgement because I personally know people who were abused and used by their parents and have excellent reason(s) for not being very close if they are even on speaking terms at all. Some people/families may have indifferent attitudes, different values and standards and others may have been abused, etc. There are a large number of perfectly valid reasons for not being close to one's parents and in many situations it's to be expected and absolutely healthy particularly where anyone's mental, physical or financial lives are in jeopardy. So, if this question is about you or someone you care about, don't be so hard on yourself or them, do what's best for you and let them do the same smile

    1. Jonas Rodrigo profile image83
      Jonas Rodrigoposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your thoughts on this, Express10.

  3. Jade89 profile image81
    Jade89posted 3 years ago

    I'd think that they probaby have a reason for feeling the way that they do.

    1. Jonas Rodrigo profile image83
      Jonas Rodrigoposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      It's always good when people choose to consider the situation of others as you do, Jade. Thanks for answering.

  4. Alphadogg16 profile image90
    Alphadogg16posted 3 years ago

    There are bad parents just as there is bad everything else in the world. I wouldn't think anything, as I'm sure they have a particular reason for being that way with their parents.

    1. Jonas Rodrigo profile image83
      Jonas Rodrigoposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your insight on this, Kevin.

    2. Express10 profile image88
      Express10posted 3 years agoin reply to this

      I completely agree. Too often, parents are not who/what they should be and outsiders negatively judge their offspring for their choice to maintain distance.

  5. peachpurple profile image80
    peachpurpleposted 3 years ago

    Communicatin breakdown that is for sureļ¼Œcould be misundersanding or siblings rivalry

    1. Jonas Rodrigo profile image83
      Jonas Rodrigoposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      But what if there was no "communication" to begin with (meaning it can't break down because it never existed)? I think that's infinitely more complicated.

  6. dashingscorpio profile image87
    dashingscorpioposted 3 years ago

    It usually means the parents did not bond well with them during their formative years or there was something that took place which forced a wedge between them.
    I grew up in a household where my mother was overbearing, abrasive, prone to yelling and whipping me and my brothers during our childhood. Naturally that created some distance between us when I went away to college and eventually moved 2000 miles away.
    Childhood was something I wanted to escape from. I wanted to be in control of my life and making my own decisions early on.
    However over time we got closer and spent some quality time together in years prior to her death as we visited with one another.
    I wouldn't hold it against anyone who was not close to their parents.
    Life is a (personal) journey.
    Each of us gets to (choose) who we want to spend our time with.
    Sometimes the most toxic people in one's life are their parents. I don't believe anyone should feel "obligated" to associate with people that poison their lives or cause them unhappiness even if they are blood related. No one deserves a "free pass" to make you miserable.

    1. gmwilliams profile image83
      gmwilliamsposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      EXACTLY!

    2. Jonas Rodrigo profile image83
      Jonas Rodrigoposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      I fully agree with your last statement, dashingscorpio. You are very right.

  7. Tjphilz5 profile image77
    Tjphilz5posted 3 years ago

    Some people are simply toxic, whether friends or family. Your parents are no exception, in fact the fact that they are your parents sometimes make it so that they affect you worse than anything else.

    1. Jonas Rodrigo profile image83
      Jonas Rodrigoposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      That is true, Tyler. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  8. fpherj48 profile image80
    fpherj48posted 3 years ago

    Jonas......Family dynamics, relationships and bonds are quite varied.  Each family has their own history, lifestyle, traditions, cultures.....If in fact, as an adult, one finds they are distanced from their parents, this did not occur overnight. 
    The majority of this issue must be acknowledged and owned by the parents for obvious reasons.  The child came in brand new, innocent and vulnerable.

    I don't judge the family connections of others and surely would not form an opinion.  I think the private thought I might have is that I'd be somewhat sad for these people, since family is so very special and important (in my life). 

    I'm sure I would feel they were robbed of a certain amount of "joy" in their lives.   
    However this does happen to many families and must be accepted.

    1. Jonas Rodrigo profile image83
      Jonas Rodrigoposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      You are very understanding, Paula. I wish more people would be like that.

  9. gmwilliams profile image83
    gmwilliamsposted 2 years ago

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/8176237_f260.jpg

    Children TREAT their parents the WAY their parents TREATED them, pure & simple, no more, no less.   People who aren't very close to their parents are that way for a reason.  Perhaps, the parent was emotionally cold & distant towards them.  Maybe such people were disfavored children in the family who were treated disparately by their parents. The familial situation could be much worse-these people were odd children out or even scapegoated children who received the WORST of parental treatment.  Such people may be deemed black sheeps by their parents because they stood out from the rest of the family members which the parents found to be distressing.   

    Then there are parents who really don't like their children at all & were just perfunctory parents to them.   Children are very aware of their environment & their parents.  THEY instinctively know when they aren't loved, even liked by their parents.  Remember the saying what goes around, comes around.  Well, people who aren't  very close to their parents had parents who mistreated them in some way.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)